Seeing my best friend in a new way

KONnik · Dec 1st 2021, 5:58pm

You can perhaps tell your parents after you announce it to them that hers are not that enthusiastic. They could help you.

Also how unenthusiastic are they? Like do you expect them to forbid her from seeing you if you tell them, or they'll just frown a little?

joannainthemiddle · Dec 1st 2021, 6:52pm

I don't really know the full situation like you do, but I think KONnik's advice is good, use your parents as allies to help you to tell her parents. Do the two sets of parents already know each other?

Judenator · Dec 1st 2021, 9:56pm

Both our parents do know each other since we have been friends for like 3 years now. We don't think her parents will forbid us from seeing each other, but we do expect them to be pretty upset about this. Her parents are pretty protective of her and being in a relationship this young(she does turn 14 in February though) is something they didn't want. I think its 50/50 that it being me will help make it better since they actually know me and I've been a good friend to her but they also know my more immature actions lately that they may not like. It just kind of feels like we have to play this very strategically or we'll lose

BJade · Dec 1st 2021, 11:28pm

I'm not sure what will help. I'm sure knowing your a good friend to her, and look out for her would definitely help them feel more ok with her dating you (though I can see there point at 13 dating is something young, so may not change there mind on being happy)

Maybe if you set boundaries on what you'll do together to reassure her parents. I'm sure they'd feel more willing if you told them you wanted to be good friends and just hand hold and kiss. And not worry about you having sex (not that I'm saying you wanted to any time soon but it's something her parents may worry about)

Just maybe acting in a grown up way about it might reasure her parents. If they see you care and look out for her. That's probably the thing they worry about, someone hurting her, and it affecting school

Hope something it that lot helps

Judenator · Dec 2nd 2021, 3:52pm

I think that is good advice. You always are able to give me good advice.

Setting boundaries ourselves up front I think will help her parents be ok with this. I think our relationship has been moving a little quicker than most because we already knew each other so well. Sex has come up not in like a serious conversation but more like casual and joking way between us. I know its not something we are planning to do like this weekend but I'm pretty sure we will be ready sooner than later and long before her parents think she is old enough. I guess thinking about it now what boundaries are there we can promise if sex isn't it? I guess we could promise we'll practice safe sex when the time comes but I kind of feel like that doesn't make the situation any easier for her parents. I definitely don't ever want to hurt her though and I don't think my bad habits at school will ever wear off on her. If anything she is starting to help me be better at school. Relationship Jude actually seems to be better than independent Jude. Maybe it's ok for relationship Jude to kill independent Jude.(Anyone get that reference? Just me?)

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