Boyfriend is unreasonably shy

    • Boyfriend is unreasonably shy

      Hi

      I feel weird talking to my friends about this because it makes my boyfriend look bad so I figure random internet strangers might not judge so much.

      My boyfriend is always shy since I have known him, but it was sort of cute and endearing. Since then I feel like it is getting worse and he is getting me to do things for him when we go out like order food and stuff because he is too shy to do it himself. Just a couple of days ago we were getting some snacks for movies and he asked me to go and pay, not because he didn't want to spend money but because he didn't want to talk to the cashier.

      Idk if I am just being over reactive but I feel like he shouldn't be this shy... idk what to do any advice is appreciated thanks a bunch ^^

    • elizaoperation wrote:

      Hi

      I feel weird talking to my friends about this because it makes my boyfriend look bad so I figure random internet strangers might not judge so much.

      My boyfriend is always shy since I have known him, but it was sort of cute and endearing. Since then I feel like it is getting worse and he is getting me to do things for him when we go out like order food and stuff because he is too shy to do it himself. Just a couple of days ago we were getting some snacks for movies and he asked me to go and pay, not because he didn't want to spend money but because he didn't want to talk to the cashier.

      Idk if I am just being over reactive but I feel like he shouldn't be this shy... idk what to do any advice is appreciated thanks a bunch ^^
      As if I were... :D

    • elizaoperation wrote:

      naturelover-VT wrote:

      a psychologist can certainly help
      Maybe I am being stupid lol but do you mean for him, or for me? I feel like shyness is not serious enough for psychologists but maybe you mean I should see one for overreacting so much lol?
      why not you too? There's a lot of stigma around having a therapist, but seeing one can be helpful for anybody. It can help you sort through your thoughts and feelings on your end.

    • It's very possible that he wants things to be different and to not be so socially anxious, so it's a tricky situation

      Social anxiety isn't something you can just "get over" suddenly, so yeah he might need to someone who is extremely patient. It's hard to express yourself to people you aren't completely comfortable with, and virtually impossible to just snap your fingers and make friends. It's probably quite a step for him to be open with you

      At the same time, it's unfair for him to be completely dependent on you to do everything in those situations. Like others have said, maybe suggest (and offer to go with him) to talk to someone about it. It's very probable that people who need help, actually need help getting help

      I do suggest, however, don't actually tell him that he's being unreasonable (even if you think so). That's probably incredibly discouraging to someone who may want to actually better themselves, but have some emotional or psychological issues that need attention

    • Try helping him out with it. Ask him about what he's so nervous about. And being there to support him. Having you there, holding his hand, supporting him if hes nervous talking to others would probably be a great help. Also don't just do everything for him, don't be harsh and say no, but if you do everything he feels nervous about he'll just start to rely on you, and won't get better at doing stuff himself

      Also like others say, there are people who can professional help him out with any anxiety and problems he has. And being there to support him would be a great help

      Good Friend :play: Kinda Romantic :love: Ready to Rock :zomg:

      "If you try to follow fashion you'll always be chasing, and probably never catch it. If you be yourself and make your own style, fashion might just bump into you one day."