First post here, this is a burner account and im (m) just testing the waters here
So a big concern of mine rn is that i have the capcity to be creepy or toxic
in middle school i never thought i would be prone to issues like that, and then i lost my closest friend at the time because of them
its been a few years now and ive had time to heal and reflect, and i can honestly say that it was at least 90% my fault
they were basically the first girl i really talked to and got to know, i got feelings... and horomones -_-
i wanted more, and was too blind to be observant of their feelings and bother to understand them
the fact that they were my only friend and i was socially insecure didnt help things at all. she was my best friend, but i wasnt her best friend
social insecuirty compounded with lack of sleep and other issues resulted in an alltime low for me so far.
its gotten a lot better after a few years though and ive moved on from that, but im still wary. i have the capacity to be jealous, toxic, clingy, lusftul (the creepy kind of lustful)
i have a new best friend whos not afraid to speak candidly to me about stuff, or check me if im being an idiot or thinking with my dick instead of my brain. shes great. shes not into sex tho
i keep finding myself asking the wrong kinds of questions
have you ever masturbated, how far have you gone, and that kind of stuff...
part of me feels disgusted that i asked those questions (and im feeling it just typing it out here), the other part of me is still curious about the answer
i guess overall im just worried of making the same mistake of getting feelings for a girl/best friend that doesnt like me and then pushing them away from the resulting toxic behavior
im just looking for other perspectives on the situation
So a big concern of mine rn is that i have the capcity to be creepy or toxic
in middle school i never thought i would be prone to issues like that, and then i lost my closest friend at the time because of them
its been a few years now and ive had time to heal and reflect, and i can honestly say that it was at least 90% my fault
they were basically the first girl i really talked to and got to know, i got feelings... and horomones -_-
i wanted more, and was too blind to be observant of their feelings and bother to understand them
the fact that they were my only friend and i was socially insecure didnt help things at all. she was my best friend, but i wasnt her best friend
social insecuirty compounded with lack of sleep and other issues resulted in an alltime low for me so far.
its gotten a lot better after a few years though and ive moved on from that, but im still wary. i have the capacity to be jealous, toxic, clingy, lusftul (the creepy kind of lustful)
i have a new best friend whos not afraid to speak candidly to me about stuff, or check me if im being an idiot or thinking with my dick instead of my brain. shes great. shes not into sex tho
i keep finding myself asking the wrong kinds of questions
have you ever masturbated, how far have you gone, and that kind of stuff...
part of me feels disgusted that i asked those questions (and im feeling it just typing it out here), the other part of me is still curious about the answer
i guess overall im just worried of making the same mistake of getting feelings for a girl/best friend that doesnt like me and then pushing them away from the resulting toxic behavior
im just looking for other perspectives on the situation
