Unwanted sex

    • Unwanted sex

      need advice. I have 2 fwb and I love them. But one of them is a closet football player. Well the head player on his team is also closet and acts mean and tough but a few days ago he made comments and passes at me and took advantage of me while we were nude in the looker room. We finally argued about and I bitched him out, he then called me dirty names and said I how selfish I was and couldn't tell he was in love with me. I told him fuck off and he smacked me and walked off.

      I don't know how to handle this. I don't want him trouble cause everytime I see him in the gym locker he is in a corner crying by himself. He also got into a huge fist fight with my football fwb. But fwb lied about the fight to principal and coach.
    • AB/CD wrote:

      corey_stratton wrote:

      he sounds likike a bully aand a a-hole, and you should stay away from him, hes not a friend
      he loves to bully me. I think he is obsessed. He is very jealous of his teamate which is the boy that I have sex with sometimes
      I agree with Corey , stay away from him, don't put yourself in alone.situation.with him, very hard to tell what he might do, best thing to do is shower and get dressed quickly and get away from him, minimize any contact with him.
    • not entirely sure on what to advise. He's bullied you in terms of he may want you. but there's another part of me worrying as u saw him in a corner crying alone. if you want to let him know to keep himself to himself, speak to him in an open area with one of ur fwb nearby. Make it clear his advances were unwanted. See why je was crying. U may be able to turn a bad situation into a good one
    • AB/CD wrote:

      corey_stratton wrote:

      he sounds likike a bully aand a a-hole, and you should stay away from him, hes not a friend
      he loves to bully me. I think he is obsessed. He is very jealous of his teamate which is the boy that I have sex with sometimes
      yeah some boys get off on bullying other boys, its crazy, maybe he just showing off in front of that other boy
      :gay:
    • AB/CD wrote:

      collin13 wrote:

      WTF ... if he touched you without consent that's rape man. The guy sounds like a first rate douchebag quite honestly. I'd throttle his ass. Seriously.
      the problem is I didn't scream for him to stop
      I guess I misread your initial post and was under the impression that you told him you didn't want to do anything, but not even sure what occurred. The point is if he is making unwanted advances toward you, that is very wrong and you shouldn't tolerate it.
    • That guy sounds dangerous ;( if he's getting into fights with people, and forcing himself on you (which is rape or sexual assault, no matter if you froze and said nothing, as its without your consent)

      I really don't know what the best advice is. As I think something needs to be done to stop his behaviour ending up causing something a lot more serious :/ (and I'm sure no one wants that to happen)

      Good Friend :play: Kinda Romantic :love: Ready to Rock :zomg:

      "If you try to follow fashion you'll always be chasing, and probably never catch it. If you be yourself and make your own style, fashion might just bump into you one day."
    • I honestly don't know why you care about "causing trouble" or the feelings of a boy who "took advantage of you when naked" and "smacked you"! In my book he lost all credibility when he assaulted you not once by twice! I mean it sucks for him that every time you see him in the gym locker he is in the corner crying by himself but he brings that on by himself bruh! You have every right to do one of many things: tell school authorities, tell police, tell parents, take it into your own hands and fight him next time he acts up, drag his name through the mud by telling people what he did. I think you may be what people call an empath. You care about people's feelings more than others. You are worried about someone who assaulted you twice and you are in love with two friends you're just supposed to be fwbs with.
    • BJade wrote:

      That guy sounds dangerous ;( if he's getting into fights with people, and forcing himself on you (which is rape or sexual assault, no matter if you froze and said nothing, as its without your consent)

      I really don't know what the best advice is. As I think something needs to be done to stop his behaviour ending up causing something a lot more serious :/ (and I'm sure no one wants that to happen)
      that's exactly what happen. I froze and didn't know how to handle it.
    • AB/CD wrote:

      BJade wrote:

      That guy sounds dangerous ;( if he's getting into fights with people, and forcing himself on you (which is rape or sexual assault, no matter if you froze and said nothing, as its without your consent)

      I really don't know what the best advice is. As I think something needs to be done to stop his behaviour ending up causing something a lot more serious :/ (and I'm sure no one wants that to happen)
      that's exactly what happen. I froze and didn't know how to handle it.
      I think then you need to handle it now. I would tell him exactly how it made you feel and that you are not interested in him. Like Jade said, what he did constitutes rape/assault. If he threatens you physically its even worse but you should not tolerate this sort of behaviour at all!
    • People completely differ in how much sex interest someone else has to show in them before they consider it to be unacceptable. Personally, I think there has to be a way for someone to show an interest that does not get them into immediate trouble but that surely should be body language/verbal, not feeling someone up: by then it has already gone too far.

      Then, while I think it is wise, if you think someone is coming onto you and that's not what you want, to tell them so and to stop, consent should be positive, not negative. Someone should not escalate the sexual involvement in a situation because the other party isn't stopping them. Rather they should be looking for some kind of positive confirmation that carrying on is what you both want. When faced with disinterest they should let it be. Don't feel you did anything wrong by got giving a forceful rejection.

      Then there seems to be an element of blackmail here, i.e. the wrongdoer threatening to out your FWB if you make a formal complaint which would, inevitably, out the wrongdoer. Normally, I would say you have to accept that whatever a blackmailer threatens will happen and refuse to give in to any demands because the blackmailer still knows the secret and is then able to make further demands to keep that secret.

      But in this case, you may have the more damaging information. In any modern, civilised place being known to have committed a sexual assault should be much more damaging to someone's reputation that being known to be gay. So perhaps this is a deal: "Everyone keeps quiet about what happened and both sides leave it at that". It's up to you if you take that deal. It depends on how distressed you feel by the assault, how anxious you are about the FWB, and how your community reacts to gay people. If you do take it, there is a danger the wrongdoer will do it again and expect you to keep quiet about second and subsequent episodes too.

      Then being practical, I would avoid being alone with him. Having someone else with you will deter him and also mean there is a witness, if he is stupid enough to try anything.