My ex is pregnant help

lmao tell me bout it man.. Fucking sucks tbh, didn’t wanna have a kid rn yk? Want 1 in the future . Just not now ffs.. N if it is mine then ofc Imma be there for the kid n everything like that, get it whatever it needs, be there for them as much as possible etc etc etc yk? Just REALLY don’t wanna have anything to do with her no more ffssss.. Just gonna be hard asf to do both isnt it smh. Its tough cos like I said I don’t wanna have a kid yet at allll tbf, but part of me wants it to be mine just so the kid will have a gd life, cos if it’s the other guys he’s a fucking crackhead n him n my ex do crack all the damn time together She’s said that she’s stopped since finding out she was pregnant but I don’t believe it at all tbh with you But yeah hopefully the kid will have a happy n healthy life whoever tf the dad is.. N if it’s mine then I’ve gotta step tf up n be a amazing fucking dad to them like mine never was… Just got no idea how tf to do it so if it is mine then I’ve gotta learn how to be a gd dad quick time fr

Told her EXACTLY this!! Like, yeah I swear a lot and things like that… But if I had the choice I’d much rather have a kid with someone who swears a lot (who wouldn’t swear at all around kids js…), instead of them being around a drug addict and a crazy mother yk? Obviously if the kid is mine I’d still want them to be around their mother as much as possible, because.. Thars their mother yk??? So I’d never ever ever want to take sole custody or anything like that, it’s not fair to the kid to deprive them of their mother and it’s definitely not fair to my ex no matter how fucking crazy she is yk? I’ve got a LOT of growing up to do whether this kid is mine or not, I know that and I can admit that without any hesitation at all… But i work, I take care of my body, I have some money stashed away to spend on things that I actually need rather than shit I just want to have yk? Like, I don’t spend a ridiculous amount on crap that doesn’t matter if that makes sense..? Where as my ex “has to” buy herself new clothes all the time, and her ex needs drugs just to get through the day… It’s actually sad tbh with you! Like part of me wants to help her out of that relationship because it’s not going to end well AT ALL for her or this baby. Buttttt whenever I’ve tried helping her out in the past it’s ended up with us being back together ffs, and there isn’t an ounce of me that wants to be back with her yk..? I want to actually get a serious relationship with a serious amount of genuine love and growth for the both of us… I don’t want to just be somebody’s pay pig if ygm? I want something real and I’ll never ever ever have that with her, whether we have a kid together or not

Got an update for you all btw, grab a snack, sit back, relax, n enjoy the fucked up story of my day yesterday lmfao…




Went to see my ex yesterday n I took a couple pregnancy tests there with me, n I had her do it right in front of me (didn’t tell her bout me making her do a test before hand so she didnt have chance to get 1 of those fake ones that say she’s pregnant even if she isn’t yk???), n she did it literally right in front of me in the bathroom n then left it on the side for a few mins… Andddd she’s actually pregnant ffs She’s got a little bump showing already, where as she was skinny asfff when I was with her before, she always has been tbh… So I knew she actually was pregnant the second I saw her before I even got the test out of my bag for her tbh with you all.. So yeah she’s actually having a kid after all, just got to try n find out who tf the actual dad is now!! The whole thing just sucks tbh, cos I was telling her when we was waiting for the test to do it’s thing that if it’s actually mine then I’m gonna grow tf up, step up n be the dad that the kid deserves yk… Be the dad I never had n all that shit, butttttt her new bf didn’t like that at all lmfao!! He was screaminggggg at me saying how he’s gonna be the kids “real dad” even if it ain’t his because he’s my ex’s Bf, n he’s the boss so that’s how it’s gonna go down… N I just looked at my ex when he said it n you could tell that even my ex didn’t agree with what he was saying…


So I just took a deep breath and didn’t shout back or nothing like that, I just said how I don’t even wanna be a dad yet, but if it is my kid then I don’t have a choice so I? I’ve gotta step tf up n be the dad that this kid deserves, n I’m gonna actually look after the kid n give them unconditional love n guidance instead of giving the kid drugs n booz to help them get through the day (which is exactly what he does every single day out of choice… If he didn’t have a choice then I would never bash him for that shit yk? But he isn’t an actual addict who can’t control it, he could stop tomorrow if he wanted to I bet (my ex agrees too), but he chooses to get drunk and high every night like clockwork, which is why part of me hopes that it is my kid (even if I don’t want kids yet But if it’s mine then I’ll have to want a kid and give them the best life I possibly can do yk??? And as I said that my ex began to cry (found out later once he left her apartment to go get more booz for himself that he’s been tryna get her to get rid of it, but she REALLY doesn’t want to…), n I said that if it’s my kid then I’ll do everything I possibly can do to help the kid yk, that doesn’t mean we’re getting back together or nothing, not at all… But if it’s my kid then I’ll do anything needed for that kid yk? N I just told her that if she needs anything for the baby during the pregnancy, like a cot, a pushchair, new born clothes n nappies/diapers n whatever else you need for a baby to just let me know n I’ll go buy it for her… (not give her the money for it, I’ll go with her to the baby shop (idk wtf it’s called lmao) n she can pick out whatever it is she needs from there for the baby n I’ll get it all for her... Even if it’s his baby n not mine yk? Cos ik she doesn’t have much money at all rn, which I don’t have much of either tbh but I’ve got a lot more than she does tbh!! N she just started crying instantly n wrapped her arms round me n thanked me for always trying my best with her over the years (which she’s NEVER thanked me for even once), n she was saying how she wishes we could’ve ended differently but she’s glad that I’m willing to step up n be a dad if it’s mine, n how she understands that I don’t wanna raise another man’s kid n how if it is mine she gets it that I don’t wanna be back with her.. But she’s just happy to know that if it’s mine the kid will have a amazing dad to look up to (even I got a lil choked up whilst hugging her when she said that ngl, n I never cry lmao… Just cos she’s never once thanked me or shown appreciation for anything I’ve done for her over the years, which is part of why I ended it to begin with tbh with you all! That n then the whole cheating thing was the last straw for me…

N then her ex came back in with his much “needed” alcohol n saw her hugging me n crying n he got her off of me n shoved me n asked wtf I’d done to make her cry, n he was getting in my face n screaming at me n the lot (baring in mind I’ve done boxing since I was 9 n he’s done drugs for about the same amount of time lmfao…). N it took e v e r y ounce of mental strength for me to not just throw 1 gd punch to his jaw n make him go night night (which id never ever do in front of my ex, especially not when she’s pregnant ffs…). So I just looked at her n she told him to stop n explained how she hugged me n was just thanking me for being willing to step up n be a dad if it’s my kid n how she was saying thank u for it all, n he said how he doesn’t want me having nothing to do with it, even if it is my kid biologically lol… N then he stormed off into the living room n started getting everything ready to start snorting a line of coke.

So I just went to the bathroom door n said how me n him could argue all day about this shit (even tho he had barely even got a reply out of me yet lmao). But at the end of the day it’s not our decision to make is it, it’s my ex’s choice who she wants to be the dad of her kid isn’t it??? It’s not our decision to make… N he just looked at me n snorted the line of coke. So I just looked at my ex n told her to ring me if she need’s absolutely anything… N then I hugged her again, kissed her stomach n then left n went to the gym (again ) to get out some anger Id built up from what her new Bf had said n done that I’d not let out yet… N she rang me last night (bout 4 or 5hr after I left hers) just thanking me again for actually being willing to support her through all this shit, n how she’ll never be able to make it up or me… So I just said how it was fine n that she needs to make it up to the baby more than any1 n give him/her the life that they deserve yk??? Cos being in a house full of booz n drugs is no environment for a baby is it man? The baby deserves sooooo much better than that! N she agreed n then said how much it warmed her heart earlier how we were actually in the same room together n it wasn’t toxic between us at all n how this baby really could fix the issues between us… But I reminded her that I’ll step up n be a dad, but I dont think we will ever be back together, as whenever we’ve tried to get back together it’s always ended much worse than it was before, every single time. N if there’s gonna be a kid involved I don’t wanna risk mentally hurting the kid by us arguing in front of them or anything like that yk? BUT throughout the pregnancy n once the kids here, even if it’s not mine I’ll always be a phone call away if she (desperately) needs anything for the baby or if she’s in danger or anything like that… Just ring me n I’ll come to hers n try my best to help the baby however I can do! N if it is my kid then I’m gonna get a better paying job, n I’m gonna do everything I can to give my kid the most amazing childhood possible yk? N then she thanked me again for everything (which again, up until yesterday she’d never thanked me for anything at all ever… So it meant a LOT just hearing her say those 2 words yk???).






I still don’t wanna be with her at all tbh, but I can’t lie to you all, it did feel nice asf having us be in the same room together n not arguing or throwing accusations around or nothing like that yk? Just us two knowing that we both want what’s best for the baby, whether we’re together or not… We just want to baby to be as happy n healthy as possible! Where as her new bf tells her almost daily to abort it smfh. So it did feel nice just talking to her bout stuff, n not having it turn into a big argument between us if ygm? I’m absolutelyyy not perfect, not at all!! N there’s a lot of shit I need to work on (swearing for one lmao, although I always make sure to never swear in front of kids). N there’s a lot of things I need to improve on too like my level headedness, my speeding (if there’s little or no traffic on the road I regularly speed on my motorbike n obviously I can’t do that if I’ve got a kid can I? Shouldnt do it anyway tbf but especially not if I have a kid… N just other random stuff that I need to work on personally too! But my list is a LOT shorter than her new bf’s is, so I know I’d give the baby a lot better of a life than her new bf will if it’s his baby (which I think it is ngl…). N ik that a child would be in much better hands than some1 who does coke n drinks to get through his day, who regularly screams n shoves his gf ffs…

So for that reason I hope it is my kid (even if I don’t want kids yet at all…), n if not I’d still wanna be there if she ever desperately needed something, but I wouldn’t be paying for the baby at all (unless she desperately needed nappies n her bf had blown all her money on drugs again or something like that, if that happens n the baby would really struggle without it then yeah I’ll help. But if it’s just “oh yeah my baby ‘needs’ these Gucci shoes that they’ll grow out of in 2 weeks time” then no I’m not paying for nothing like that lmao… N she understands that n said how since knowing she was pregnant she’s given her brother her card n she’s gotta ask him to send her money from it if she wants to buy anything, n he’s got to decide if she should actually spend that money or not… Just so she can try n save as much as possible for this new addition to her life yk? Which I respect her for a LOT tbf!! N I told her how proud I am of her for doing that ngl.. As ik she has a problem with online shopping. N she was saying how it’s hard not ordering stuff but she knows that she needs the money for the baby a LOT more than she needs new clothes or anything like that. N we spoke for a few more mins n then before hanging up, she said how whether it’s my baby or not, she knows I’m going to be an amazing Dad some day, n how if it’s not my kid, she wants me to be the kids godfather… So I just said let’s go get the test where it says who the dad is booked in n we’ll take it from there, n then we say our goodbyes n hung up the phone. N that’s everything I think???

The End,
D x


(P.s. wish me luck for the next 6 month lmfao, I think things between me n her are gonna be ok for the 1st time ever probably if yesterdays how it’s gonna go… Just things between me n her BF that might escalate if how yesterday went was anything to go off of lmao! I was veryyy close to swinging for him ngl, yk when he shoved me for hugging her..? But I didn’t retaliate for my ex’s sake n for the baby’s sake, n he just went n did his coke, so we just left him to it basically hahaha).

My bad man, I do spend a lottttt of my time in boys locker rooms tbf hahaha (I go to the gym every morning to work out before I go to work, n then I go n do boxing training on a night usually right after work, although I don’t do boxing on weekends just to let my body heal a lil yk?). But yeah that’s probably why I swear so much idk? Never really thought bout it tbh with u..? Sorry for having a potty mouth on the internet though man:(: There’s a lottttt of stuff I’ve mentioned so far that is a LOT more serious than if I drop a few F bombs though as you said, n the reason for so many lmao’s n haha’s is simply just because I’m a happy smiley person who always at least tries to make light of situations, n with me never possibly being a dad before it’s more of an awkward laugh rather than it is a “omg this is absolutely hilarious omg hahahahahaha” laugh yk..? So it’s mostly an awkward laugh don’t worry… I have a better idea of how serious of a situation this is than anyone else involved does Id say? (With my ex closest after me, and then her Bf not taking it seriously at all really ffs!!).

And trust me, I know how bad false accusations are haha! I got them throughout my entire relationship with her smh, and I didn’t realise this was a religious page..? My bad.. But yeah I’m a LOT more concerned about the baby than literally anything else going on in my life rn if I’m honest with you bro… Whether I’m the dad or not, and whether I’m involved or not, I still want the baby to be healthy yk? Where as like I said in the story time I’ve just told the rest of the class lmao (awkward laugh ), my ex’s Bf says almost on a daily basis that she needs to abort it ffs… So he obviously doesn’t give a fuck about the baby unfortunately! So I’ve told my ex if I’m not the dad, she can still ring me if she ever desperately needs anything and I’ll be right there to help her however I can do (if she or the baby are in danger or anything like that for example…). So even though I said on here that I wouldn’t have anything to do with the baby if I wasn’t the dad, I think Ive change my stance on it after finding out she really is pregnant and how bad the situation with her new bf actually is with his drug use and what not… I think if she was desperate for anything for their baby, and he wasn’t supplying it for whatever reason I’d step in then and buy whatever it was the baby needed (whether it was diapers or milk or baby food or whatever tf… If she literally can’t get it then I’d happily get it for her in situations like that, but I wouldn’t be paying for the none essential stuff yk? Or stuff that she could quite easily afford to buy with her own money…


But if it is my baby then I’d buy anything and everything needed for my kid, I just think I’d have massive issues essentially raising somebody else’s kid if that makes sense? Obviously I know a lot of guys who’ve done exactly that and it’s like it’s their own kid… But personally I don’t think I could do it if I’m honest!! But as I said in emergency situations I’m there regardless of if the baby is mine or not

Lmfao damn bro chill wtf? But as I said, I always wear a condom whenever I fuck a girl, every single time.. N then if requested (which it was most times with my ex tbh..) when I’m about to cum she would always want me to take off the condom n then let it all out onto her tits. So I’d always finish there, nowhere near her pussy (which I got told off for saying before for some reason lmao? Sorry guys who actually read what I’ve said so far, just saying tit again to give particularly angry man some context


So I always am careful when having sex, and have never had any issues at all with how I would do it until now. And she has lied about being pregnant to me in the past which is why I wasn’t sure if she actually was this time, or if it was more lies from her… But she is pregnant and I’ve told her to make an appointment with her doctor about finding out who the dad is, and to then let me know when the appointment is and I’lll obviously come along to it with her. So I’m just waiting on her to make that appointment atm lol.


And I completelyyy agree that I’ve got a LOT of growing up to do, and that I need to do it fast if I am in fact the dad, I’d be the first person to admit that!!! But out of me, my ex and her new bf, I run laps around them both as far as being responsible is concerned… I work (a lot!!), I take care of my body and keep as active as possible, I’m careful of what I put into my body food/drink wise, I help anybody who needs it if they simply treat me with respect when asking for help and don’t just expect me to do things for them (so basically if they respectfully ask me to help them, then yeah I’m there for them 100%… BUT if they expect me to help them, and get mad at me if I don’t, orrr if they demand that I help them, then no I won’t help anybody who can’t at least treat me with respect when I’m doing them a favour yk?)


Where as her new BF does cocaine every single day, he gets drunk every single night (usually), they both only eat takeaways and leftover takeaways each night, neither of them work (they both easily could do if they wanted, but they just choose not to ffs), and their home is absolutely trashed with dirty clothes all over the apartment, cat piss on the floor that hasn’t been cleaned up in weeks probably, drug paraphernalia all over the house, and so much more crap too… I’m not perfect at alllll, but I’m a LOT more responsible and willing to change myself however needed for this baby than both of them are combined…


I can tell them my ex truly is trying to sort her life out now that she’s pregnant though, which I respect a lot to say how badly she treated her body in the past! She still has a longggg way to go ofc, but she knows that she needs to sort her body out in order for the baby to be healthy… And that if this baby is mine especially, then I’m going to step tf up and do everything I possibly can do for my kid (if it is mine ofc..), and if it’s not mine, then I’ll help out if it’s an emergency or if the kid is in danger or anything like that, as I obviously don’t want the baby to be hurt I’m any way you know..? But as far as the day to day side of things are concerned, then they’re on their own for that. And she understood that too luckily (which I was surprised by ngl!!)




So as I said, I’m currently just waiting on her to make this appointment to see if it’s mine or her ex’s baby… I can’t do anything until then I don’t think? I’m just currently trying to make a plan for if it is my baby, and wtf I’m going to do to help provide for him/her

yeah ik there’s a chance of a woman still getting pregnant even if u wear a condom, n I love doing anal sex ngl but she hated it cos it was too painful for her even with lube n me going quite a lot slower than I usual would do, so she only wanted oral sex in the beginning as most women I’ve been with do (which is understandable tbf) n then regular sex with after a while or foreplay.. She wanted it without a condom too but I wasn’t willing to risk it for obvious reasons lol… I personally prefer regular dick in vagina sex too tbf, but I also love doing anal with women too. So I could happily do one or the other, it was just her personal preference that didn’t want anal unfortunately! And I know condoms aren’t 100% perfect… Nothing is haha, what else would you have suggested I do for next time with other women just so that I know for future references? As I genuinely do want to learn how to improve and how to be more careful about it all, as the more I let the gravity of what’s going on set in the more real it becomes… (which I’m happy about if I’m honest, because it’s a VERY serious situation I’m in at the moment isnt it? Clearly). I appreciate ur advice so far tho fr, I also appreciate ur honesty a lot too ngl

said it in my last reply but ik that condoms aren’t a 100% safe way to have sex but what else would you personally recommend I do to be safer in the future? As my ex for example hated anal n never wanted to do it, n we both loved sex so just doing oral wasn’t enough for either of us tbh.. So what would do u think I should do in the future to be safer if my only option when having sex is regular sex? No anal? (I’m not sleeping with her anymore at all luckily n haven’t done for a little while now haha, so anal should be fine in the future but just in case it’s not at least I’ll know wtf to do yk?)


N yeah I know, it’s setting in more n more now how fucked up my situation actually is ngl.. I’ve offered to help out where needed to make sure the baby’s ok n her new bf doesn’t want me involved at all, n when he was saying it I felt like it was best for her n best for the baby if I didn’t react to the situation n create an even more toxic environment by arguing back or by one of us getting violent with each other n the other person fighting back or whatever tf.. Just felt best for my ex n for the baby if I just took it on the chin n didn’t react yk? Idk if that was the right thing to do but it felt like it was at the time, I’ve had occasional thought since wishing I’d have told him that I’m gonna make sure the baby’s ok whether he wants to or not, but ok how he is, n ik how I react to ppl getting in my face like that, n it wouldn’t have ended well at all n I didn’t wanna cause my ex or my possible child any unneeded stress n anxiety yk??? So idk mannn, just wish I had all the answers on a piece of paper n knew wtf to do in the moment there n then.. But unfortunately that’ll never ever happen haha, just wanna know if I’m the dad or not more than anything tbh! Tried talking to a couple irl friends bout it all n they just have that “man fuck that slut” attitude cos they know she cheated on me, but idk.. I can’t just drop it all knowing that 1) I could be the kids dad n I’m not prepared at all n 2) that if I’m not the dad that kid will never ever ever have a loving dad cos there dad just gets drunk n does coke every day ffs


(Not that he can’t get clean or that he cant love his kid when drunk or high but yk what I mean ffs aha)

I agree 110% tbf man, said it here a few days ago n just touched on it now aha.. But I offered to help out when needed the second I found out she was actually expecting wether I’m the dad or not just so ik that the baby’s ok yk? N her new bf got in my face n squared up to me right in front of her n said how he’s her bf so he ain’t having another man raise his kid (even if I’m the kids dad lol?). N then when I made sure to take a deep asf breathe n to hold my tongue n not react to him at all, he stormed off n left me n her in the bathroom n I can’t remember wether he left her house to go n get drugs or if he went n sat down to do his drugs (I said it earlier on a few days back so just reread that n look at what I said if u really care enough lmao), but yeah he either went out to go n buy drugs or he went n sat down to do drugs n i just looked at her like “Jesus Christ is he fr???” N she looked back at me fr just like like she didn’t know wtf to do… So I promised her I’d help when needed dw..


Just hard cos I’ve offered to help her out with shit before n she’s massively taken advantage with my kindness a bunch of times, so I don’t wanna give her the best of everything when I haven’t got much money myself atm yk??? So it’s tough ngl.. Cos I don’t wanna essentially get robbed again, but I also don’t wanna let this kid suffer cos of it yk? N ofc this might change depending on how bad their situation is once the kids here if it’s not mine idk?? But I just said how if it’s not mine then I’ll just leave them to it, but if she ever NEEDS anything (like food, a cot, a pram, nappies, anything that babies actually NEED yk???) n she can’t get it herself then just lemme know n I’ll go n get her whatever tf it is that she needs for the baby.. But (if it’s not my kid) I’m not gonna be buying absolutely everything for them yk? Cos she’s gotta stand on her own 2 feet herself.. N I didn’t say this to her I don’t think? (Might’ve done idfk, the whole things mostly a blur now tbh with u..) but if it is my child, which I personally don’t think it is tbh with u but ofc idk yet. Then I’m gonna try n give my kid the absolute best I can do yk? I want them to be as happy n healthy as possible yk? I’d have to co parent tho cos there’s no fucking way I can get back with my ex fr, we’re to toxic together when in a relationship.. Although I do think she’s changing for the better from my convos with her since finding out she actually is expecting yk? I do think she’s tryna change her situation for the better for the 1st time ever, I see it in her yk? Think she’s got a long way to go (as have I ofc, but at least she’s actually trying now!! As she never has done before ffs)

Phones bout to die n I don’t have a charger with me rn (just got to training n forgot to charge my phone before I left work ffs). But I’ll try n keep u all updated the more I know/hear about it all dw, n if any of u have any ideas u think might help me, my ex or the baby plssssss let me know cos my long time friends (who know what she’s like) are just telling me to forget bout her n how she’s lying bout it all… But I can’t just “forget” bout a possible kid I have or bout a kid who’s gonna be growing up in such a dangerous n toxic environment yk? I’ve gotta do something wether I’m the dad or not ffs