Idk how to start this so ill just start it here. Hi, im 16, a girl dating a girl whos 15 and i have diagnosed ptsd and suspected bpd. I met my gf a year ago, starting as friends as we had similar interests and i started liking her while she was in a bad relationship. Time skip they break up, we both like eachother and my gf emotionally sending me into a inpatient ward after a fight.
im not very mentally stable around my period, becoming very depressed and anxious about my relationships- especially with her the more we fight. And she becomes borderline verbally abusive and sends me into panic attacks bi-monthly. She tells me she doesnt mean it and does love me (side note she is unmedicated and unable to seek help due to familial reasons).
I love her alot and we see eachother growing old together and i really cant see my life without her. Ik im young and blah blah teenage love wont last but i really do love her and cant think of my life without her in my life no matter how horrible she treats me.
Now here comes were the title comes in.
I see myself entering panicked states and fawning socially with her when i assume shes mad at me, ignoring me or overall not talking to me due to our previous fights. And i can compare it to other times i have had ptsd anxiety with other things and im scared.
I really only came here for others to help me figure this out and yes i do have a therapist but i dont tell her about my relationship in fear she’ll tell me to leave.
I believe my gf can get better and is just in a unlucky situation and understand my mentality is very “i can fix him”. Im very confused and worried i might end up in another inpatient because of her again- and i had the worst experience there.
I dont think anyone will read this but if you do please understand this situation is very gray and we’re both not the best people when it comes to our hormonal emotions.
Thanks, love Cyn.
im not very mentally stable around my period, becoming very depressed and anxious about my relationships- especially with her the more we fight. And she becomes borderline verbally abusive and sends me into panic attacks bi-monthly. She tells me she doesnt mean it and does love me (side note she is unmedicated and unable to seek help due to familial reasons).
I love her alot and we see eachother growing old together and i really cant see my life without her. Ik im young and blah blah teenage love wont last but i really do love her and cant think of my life without her in my life no matter how horrible she treats me.
Now here comes were the title comes in.
I see myself entering panicked states and fawning socially with her when i assume shes mad at me, ignoring me or overall not talking to me due to our previous fights. And i can compare it to other times i have had ptsd anxiety with other things and im scared.
I really only came here for others to help me figure this out and yes i do have a therapist but i dont tell her about my relationship in fear she’ll tell me to leave.
I believe my gf can get better and is just in a unlucky situation and understand my mentality is very “i can fix him”. Im very confused and worried i might end up in another inpatient because of her again- and i had the worst experience there.
I dont think anyone will read this but if you do please understand this situation is very gray and we’re both not the best people when it comes to our hormonal emotions.
Thanks, love Cyn.