Confused

    • Confused

      Not sure if this is in the right place or not but I’m confused. Possibly on my sexuality.

      This is my first real boyfriend. We just had our 1 month anniversary together. We agreed to show each other our private parts. All we have done is kissed and held hands. For our 1 month we quickly show each other. I was completely grossed out it was the first penis I have seen in person. Thinking about it makes me want to vomit. He dose not know that I though it was gross and I don’t know what to do. I’m not attracted to my girlfriends like I am boys. But is it possible I’m only attracted to boys because that’s what I think I’m supposed to be attracted to? I’m so confused. What do I tell my boyfriend? I really don’t want to see his penis ever again.

    • Hi Maddy and welcome to the site!

      Congratulations on being together for a month, it is something to be proud of that you can show that commitment to him. I guess you knew it was an achievement too and that's why you wanted to do something to make the occasion special. But it sounds like you did something you now think was not such a good and fun thing. And that's OK: everybody does stuff that she then changes her mind about when she finds out what it's like. You and your boyfriend have shown you can stay together this long, so you must have good ways of talking to each other. So my advice is that you let your boyfriend know that you although you wanted to see his penis then, now you have you've realised that it's really not seeing his penis that is what is important to you - it's all the other stuff you have done spending time together this last month. Let him know that you would much rather carry on doing all those fun things with him, and not show each other your private parts, because that's not what you want to do. You don't need to say you felt ill or that you thought it was gross, just that it's not something you want to do now you've tried it. You have already talked lots if you have been together a month, so I hope you have a good way of talking to him and can tell him this - it is important!

      As to whether you are only attracted to boys because you think you are supposed to be - I think it's not something you can be sure of, and certainly *I* can't be sure about it for you. But you can tell your boyfriend you are attracted to him and have enjoyed spending your time with him this last month, just now you have shown your privates you realise that's not the thing you want to be doing.


      I hope you have a good future with him and also that you enjoy the site, there's lots to do here like word games and food ideas and travel suggestions. Have fun!