First time

    • First time

      ive been seeing my boyfriend for about one year, and i decided i am now ready for sex. I was raped two years ago, and he's been really understanding, but we've never even fooled around. but im really nervous and a little scared. i know i shouldnt be, i know im safe, but im still scared. i really want it, but im a afraid i wont please him. are the misgivings natural, even though i love him?
      [CENTER][SIZE=2]“But be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” ~William Shakespeare[/SIZE] [/CENTER]

    • Re: First time

      you're bound to be a little scared or even a lot scared if doing soemthing like sex brings back memories of soemthing which is terrible. I know this is a rubbish example but the first i could think of :p if you walk a tightrope fall and badly damage your body, then come back to it again later and try and walk it again, your bound to be nervous. But i think everyones nervous about their first time anyway so it's completly natural.

      if you love him and are comfortable with him just reassure yourself that your doing what you want to do, so why should anything stop that, least not of all that scumbag who raped you.
      Nicole = Happiest she's been in a long time:lovey:

    • Re: First time

      I really want it..i want to move on also. but im worried that i will relieve everything and not get any pleasure out of it. but he said he would make sure i liked it, but i cant help but be worried
      [CENTER][SIZE=2]“But be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” ~William Shakespeare[/SIZE] [/CENTER]

    • Re: First time

      Tbh i think you will. you obviously feel comfortable about it to a certain extent, otherwise you wouldnt know you were ready.
      Plus you have been with him for a while to know what he is like, i'm sure you will feel ok once you've tried it, the pleasure will come naturally, even though there are still those thoughts there. You'll probabaly feel the same for a long time, but it doesnt have to interfere with your sexual life:)

    • Re: First time

      or lack of one...at least right now lol the only thing he doesnt understand is how come i want to have it so bad. he hasnt ever touched me, he's only kissed me and hugged me or help my hand, and only b/c i set the limits.
      [CENTER][SIZE=2]“But be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” ~William Shakespeare[/SIZE] [/CENTER]

    • Re: First time

      OMG! I feel so sorry! I have a friend who was abused in her chialdhood aswell:( But how come someone you consider a "friend" raped you?! It's usually done by mentally ill adults. That sounds breathtaking.Your own friend.....?!:confused::(
      [SIZE=5]"Mø&#1080; Cø&#1079;&#1103; &#949;$t ou&#8730;e&#1103;t à c&#1079;ux qui &#8730;&#1079;uL&#1079;&#1080;T La décØuv&#1103;i&#1103; "&#9829; <a [/SIZE]

    • Re: First time

      long story short....he was possesive, he hit me, i couldnt be friends with anyone but him, and no one noticed the bruises...the last time i saw him was the day he raped me...i havent heard from him since
      [CENTER][SIZE=2]“But be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” ~William Shakespeare[/SIZE] [/CENTER]

    • Re: First time

      I'm sorry......you were how old?:( Oh and to answer your thread: well due to the "accident" that happened I think it's normal for you to feel a bit shy about the ideea of having a sexual relationship. You should take more time. If he loves you, he'll wait:)
      [SIZE=5]"Mø&#1080; Cø&#1079;&#1103; &#949;$t ou&#8730;e&#1103;t à c&#1079;ux qui &#8730;&#1079;uL&#1079;&#1080;T La décØuv&#1103;i&#1103; "&#9829; <a [/SIZE]

    • Re: First time

      You were exactly the age I am now....I can't believe in what world we live in.... But still, if he disrespected you why did you still remain friends with him until the accident:confused:
      [SIZE=5]"Mø&#1080; Cø&#1079;&#1103; &#949;$t ou&#8730;e&#1103;t à c&#1079;ux qui &#8730;&#1079;uL&#1079;&#1080;T La décØuv&#1103;i&#1103; "&#9829; <a [/SIZE]

    • Re: First time

      Oh well good for you! I wish you have a happy life and a fresh new start with your boyfriend dear!:wink::):kiss:
      [SIZE=5]"Mø&#1080; Cø&#1079;&#1103; &#949;$t ou&#8730;e&#1103;t à c&#1079;ux qui &#8730;&#1079;uL&#1079;&#1080;T La décØuv&#1103;i&#1103; "&#9829; <a [/SIZE]

    • Re: First time

      SugarRush wrote:

      I'm sorry to hear about what happened... I'm glad you've gotten over it.

      In my experiance I've discovered if you put off having sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend for ages, it normaly ends up quite awkward when you do it.... but thats just people I know :p lol. If you love eachother then go for it :)
      I think it would be the opposite and it would be awkward if you rush into it. I waited 10 months to have sex with my boyfriend and it wasn't awkward at all.

      I'm really sorry to hear about what happened to you, but if you're worried you'll relieve those memories while having sex maybe you should wait a little longer.

    • Re: First time

      now my bf's not sure if I'M ready. shouldnt i know? he keeps puttin if off, tellin me he doesnt want to hurt me. does he really want me or is he havin second thoughts? he's havin a hard time talkin to me about it...i dont care that he's been with other girls, but will the fact that i was raped possibly make it awkward for him?
      [CENTER][SIZE=2]“But be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” ~William Shakespeare[/SIZE] [/CENTER]

    • Re: First time

      yeh he probably is really nervoud because you were rpaed and because he cares he doesn't want you to feel liek any memories are coming back, if you're persistant and tell him to his face that you're okay with it and ready and if at any time you do feel uncomfortable you'll say, then he should be a bit more willing to give it a go. I think it's because he just doesn't want to hurt you emotionally
      Nicole = Happiest she's been in a long time:lovey:

    • Re: First time

      sometimes i wondered if he's ashamed...when i first told him a few months ago what happened he refused to look me in the eye...now he's back to that. i try to make him listen, to tell him he could never hurt me...but he just doesnt listen....he is very stubborn lol thats one thing i like about him...but in this case he's too stuborn
      [CENTER][SIZE=2]“But be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” ~William Shakespeare[/SIZE] [/CENTER]