What to do...?

    • What to do...?

      My best friend and I were best friends with another girl for the first two years of high school. It was the 3 of us, but over summer the 3rd one 'changed' and decided she didn't want friends and only wanted her boyfriend. She ditched the 2 of us, along with everyone else, for her boyfriend. She turned into a complete bitch and became overly possessive of him. She didn't let him talk to or hangout with us anymore. I've been best friends with him since elementary school, so I wasn't just going to let him go. She complained and tried picking fights with me if I was to so much as hug him in the halls at school. So pretty much our old best friend ditched us and wanted nothing to do with us but the worst. Now she's suddenly had a change in heart and wants to be best friends again. The thing is, I'm the kind of person who's been fucked over one too many times so I don't forgive people that often. I've learned to live without her in my life and found it to be much better that way, so as for me, I'm not buying the whole 'change in heart' b.s. and taking her friendship back after all the fights she's started and all the drama. My best friend, on the other hand, is two-faced. It sounds horrible, but I can admit all the bad things about myself so I'll admit that about her. The minute out old friend wants to be back in our lives, she goes crawling back too. She tells her how much she missed her and she's sorry and all that. I don't want her back in my best friend life either because she doesn't deserve to be. She's hurt her a lot (they were always closer) and I don't want to see her hurt my best friend again the minute another guy or she finds a new best friend. The only reason she's come back is because she couldn't find anybody else to replace us (as she said). She and my best friend have been talking lately but my best friend has been hiding it from me because she knows I don't care for her now nor the fact of being friends again. I don't know what I'm supposed to tell my best friend. She's so gullible and forgiving and pretty much blind to see what's really going on. The kind of girl that our old best friend is is going to hurt her again. My best friend is mainly all that I have that I completely trust with everything and I feel what she feels and I just hate her being hurt. How can I convince her to just back away from our old friend without calling her an idiot for believing that she's changed back? Any advice would be nice

    • Re: What to do...?

      Well bottom line is that you can't force anyone to believe or do anything. You can try having a talk with her about how you feel, but I wouldn't recommend telling her that what she's doing is wrong. It's obvious she misses your other friend and if you try to make her quit being friends with her...she might just end up not being friends with you. I would advise letting things happen as they happen. You don't have to hang out or be friends with your old friend, but I wouldn't constantly tell your best friend how she should handle the situation or she'll end up resenting you. Try not to get involved in the drama and things will go the way they're supposed to.

    • Re: What to do...?

      since it a fact that you know your best friend more then i know her (i dont know her at all actualy), i am asking you to please fix me if im wrong about anything cause all im gonna say is from what i understood from what you said:

      your best friend probably excepts your old friend back just because she knows that people change all the time. yes, it is true that she treated both you and your best friend like a complete bitch, but it is also true that you were friends before she started with all of it. who knows, maybe she wants to be with you again because she understands that what she did was bad. but then again, its impossible to know forsure right now because from what you are saying, your old friend didnt apoligize or anything.

      i have a friend that was my friend for a long time, and there was an entire year that we were like complete enemies, we actualy heart eachother fissicaly a lot and had a lot of arguments and fist fights. at the end we forgived eachother and became friends again, and i am still intouch with him even though we dont live in the same country anymore.

      what you should do is try finding more information about it. before you know the true reason why she wants to be with you again you should not do anything to stop your current best friend from becoming friends with her again. just see if your old friend changed or not.

      good luck, i hope this helps!
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    • Re: What to do...?

      Thanks, it really did help a little bit. Is it bad that I don't even want to bother giving her a second chance though? I mean I've always been a forgiving person, but there's only so much you can take before you lose that. I just feel like she's not even worth trying to be friends with again or trying to forgive after everything she did to us.

      And it's not that I'm trying to convince my best friend of anything...she knows what our old friend did and what she's doing now. Our friendship has nothing to do with it because she already told our old friend that she's not willing to lose or even risk our friendship for her, pretty much meaning that if I don't like the fact of them being friends, she won't, out of respect for me. It's just trying to figure out how to tell her how I feel, that it's a stupid idea because she's not one of the people who'll change and will probably just repeat the same thing.