Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      Tayune wrote:

      Yeah...It ain't goin' away. Not when I think about him 24/7 and no other men are in my life, there used to be, but not any more. I'm Homeschooled, btw. lol, it's not like he'll hate me or anything, I know him well enough to know that much. Well, a private place is a pretty clear thing, yes? Ummm, what do you mean by slowly though?


      Well wow you must really want an answer to answer every responce quick and thought ful, what i mean by saying it slow is dont just go out there and say you love him. Ask questions about if he has any girls that he likes aand stuff then that then slowly bring in how u are and how you feel.

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      stars&straps wrote:

      thats gross.
      theres plenty of other boys out there.
      just forget about him your asking for trouble.
      your only young!
      THANK YOU for that LOVELY input! Now, unless you have real advice, go away...Shoo Shoo.
      BTW, I've already established that it's "gross" to the "norm", so there was no need to tell me that. Not forgetting, how many times do I have to type it before you people see it!?
      Young? Is that all you got? Come on, if you want to stop me, give me something I haven't heard before. And I don't care if I'm young; young people can fall in love to YA KNOW! So unless you want to answer my real question...Shoo.

      lol. OH MY GOD. i posted spam.

      my bad?
      mmkay well if i found out that my cousin liked me liek that, i would seriously be like uhh...what???? i'd be so creeped out.
      so i dunno if its best that you tell him.
      but good luck i guess.
      Yes, you did. And I have gone without my meds the last 2 days, so I'm a bit...Over the edge.

      Well, that depends, first: Are you Male or Female? Next how old are you? Do you guys have many things in common? How close are your ages? For starters....
      But thank you for trying.
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      Sorry, I sometimes go ahead without explaining mt point. Why would you be creeped out? Is the main point to the questions, if you guys are close, there is no reason to be...If not, then I can see being creeped out.

      I will tell him. I can't yet. Not until I see him next...Oh, did I fail to mention he lives in another state? Hmm, I think I did...Oh, well, it doesn't matter. Or it does, it's for the better, I have to fix a few things in my life before I tell him anyway.
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      To start with the obvious; you've definitely got a dilemma on your hands here. I understand why you have to tell him. When you fall in love with somebody, no matter who it may be, you have got to tell them. It's not healthy to just walk away. It will slowly kill you on the inside. Especially in a situation where you are practically obligated to see the person. There's no walking away from that. HOW to tell him is a good question. My advice to you is this: Be completely honest, and do not leave anything unmentioned. Talk to him like you would as if it were someone outside your family you fell in love with. Will it be awkward? You bet your ass it will be, but hell, it'll feel good to get off your chest. You never know, he may not be freaked out by it. Not making any promises, however. Oh yea, make sure he's alone with you when you tell him :rolleyes:. I'm curious though. What is so appealing to you about him? He is your cousin, afterall. What is it that makes you feel you love him?

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      okay. what i think, and im going to be honest here, is that its just a crush, and that it will pass. even though it seems like it wont, trust me, but until you have proof for me that it wont pass, i wont believe it. just keep living your life normally. if you want, you CAN tell him, but like pretty much everyone said, it will freak him out and it will also not be a very good thing family and society wise. i used to have a little more feelings than usual to a family member up to the point where i said i was in love with her, but it passed. im sure it will for you too. theres plenty of other great and decent guys out there that im sure you can love.

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      DistortionSleep43 wrote:

      To start with the obvious; you've definitely got a dilemma on your hands here. I understand why you have to tell him. When you fall in love with somebody, no matter who it may be, you have got to tell them. It's not healthy to just walk away. It will slowly kill you on the inside. Especially in a situation where you are practically obligated to see the person. There's no walking away from that. HOW to tell him is a good question. My advice to you is this: Be completely honest, and do not leave anything unmentioned. Talk to him like you would as if it were someone outside your family you fell in love with. Will it be awkward? You bet your ass it will be, but hell, it'll feel good to get off your chest. You never know, he may not be freaked out by it. Not making any promises, however. Oh yea, make sure he's alone with you when you tell him :rolleyes:. I'm curious though. What is so appealing to you about him? He is your cousin, afterall. What is it that makes you feel you love him?
      THANK-YOU! Finally a comment with no strings attached! [or whatever the saying is...I'm not to good with sayings] Anyway, I was planning to tell him privately anyway, I mean what fool wouldn't do that, I mean really? As for telling him everything, wasn't planning on doing that because it may seem a bit....Eh, IDK what the correct term would be...Obsessive? Maybe? IDK. Well, that's another thing, I've never fallen in love until now. So IDK what it's like to be in love with anyone besides him. Well, IDK if you agree with this sort of thing or not [for the love of God, do not not tell me now please!], but I can see you looked at both sides of the "situation" and made your comment. I like that.

      What's so appealing about him to me? Well, it's hard to explain because every time I've tried to explain everyone has said something like "There are plenty of guys like him out there!" or whatever...Really? Because of the 100 or some-odd guys that have asked me out since the 6th grade, I've found no one like that. And I'm in 10th now, going to school with supposedly mature 11th and 12th graders. They asked me out to, never bothering to ask my name first. I mean, why the Hell would people want to ask ME out?! I dressed the way I did for a reason, all slobbed out with baggy shirts and baggy jackets, always wearing pants...all the time. What's worse is, it wasn't even me they were asking out, it was my boobs! [I'm kinda heavy-set, so yeah]. But, I'm off-track, and felt like ranting, now what all this means is...Those people wouldn't know a guys personality if they came up to them with a lie-detector strapped to them. Not to brag, but I've always had they lovely talent of reading people very well, unless they were just being themselves & I was too damn paranoid. So far, I have only found 2 guys that are smarter than me, one is my cousin and the other was this guy who was a total jackass to me all the time, for no reason.
      Anyway, sorry for that whole thing, but to answer you real question: I don't really know myself... Someone can seem so wrong on paper, but be so right when it comes to what matters. But if I were to say the "perks" or whatever, they'd be: He's pretty good looking, smart, a smart-ass, nice when he wants to be, and he's comfy...[no really, I fell asleep on him once while watching a show, do you know how comfy someone has to be to be able to fall asleep on them? Long story]. But in all honesty, it's just one of those things, ya know?

      okay. what i think, and im going to be honest here, is that its just a crush, and that it will pass. even though it seems like it wont, trust me, but until you have proof for me that it wont pass, i wont believe it. just keep living your life normally. if you want, you CAN tell him, but like pretty much everyone said, it will freak him out and it will also not be a very good thing family and society wise. i used to have a little more feelings than usual to a family member up to the point where i said i was in love with her, but it passed. im sure it will for you too. theres plenty of other great and decent guys out there that im sure you can love.
      Crushes are for weak-minded people who cannot tell the difference between lust and love. Since I do not lust, it cannot be a crush [I'm Asexual. Meaning, I fall in love. Just love. Attraction of the body plays a severely minor role in it.] Trust you? "Until you have proof for me that" I can trust you...I won't. OK, you want proof, tell me what you need, because I don't want to give anything unnecessary. Unless the fact that I'm a highly dedicated person is worth something. I can go for years without something so long as I know I can have it. So far it's never been a person, but I've gotten the first thing I've ever asked for just recently...I asked for it when I was 4. I'm 15 now, I asked to be homeschooled the day after I started school, my parents always told me no for years upon years, but I knew this was one thing I knew that if I tried long and hard enough, I'd get it, of course I didn't know that until I was 7, nut whatever. A puppy, my dad hates animals, but me and my sister used to beg him all the time to get one, then I realized that this was one thing I wasn't going to get because of the surrounding factors, so I stopped asking. This time, it's 50/50...Honestly, it could go either way, and if I can change the surrounding factor by 1%, that's enough to go for it. All I need is 51/49 and I can do what I want to do, so far I'm almost there. I'm highly manipulative, clever, sneaky, underhanded, determined, lazy, and I know what needs to be done to turn the odds in my favor.
      What do you consider normal? I spend 24/7 at home, talking to no one but my parents and sister, sometimes my friend. I'm an agoraphobic who hates the outdoors, though luckily, I can stay out for a little while and manage to not pass out. So I hardly see the light of day anymore, is that normal? Then again...Define normal. Screw society, they've always hated me no matter what I did anyway. How can you be so sure? I'm quite picky and have high-standards, I trust almost no one, and people worship me for it... God, I'm so glad I'm out of that whacked-out school. Who the Hell worships a woman they can't have?! Then when I give them the time of day, they start treating me like trash and I usually end up breaking some part of their body. Don't tell me there are PLENTY of decent guys out there, because that is such a load of bullshit! I think I should know too, I was stalked, molested, jumped, and almost raped by a whole bunch of guys I only had run-ins with [luckily it was just almost, my male friends act as my some-what bodyguards. They however are not dating material for me.] Some, maybe, but PLENTY, I think not... Who fucking knows, maybe that's the only reason why I feel they way I do... But who cares, they're my fucking emotions, and I know how they work.
      Aside from all that, it doesn't matter how many guys are out there, I'm not some kind of slut... No decent guy would ever want to be with me because only the human scum of the earth is attracted to me... Which brings me to my main point: I swore to never love anyone, and now look what happened to me?! Love is the most horrible emotion ever created, and sadly the most wonderful. I can't explain how it happened, why it happened, or what triggered it...All I know is what I feel, and that I'm not stupid like most teens are, not the brightest either, but I've always taken the best coarse of action when it comes to certain things. I know fully, what I'm getting into, I've taken in every factor, I know the risks of everything, the odds are going to be shifted one way or the other. Whatever the outcome, it's not going to stop me. The only reason I asked my question and bothered explaining myself to you people was so you could get the slightest idea of the torment that I feel. And so I could get an idea on how to tell him because, well, I've never confessed to anyone before.
      Point: Not a crush, give me some real advice.
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      Tayune wrote:

      Crushes are for weak-minded people who cannot tell the difference between lust and love. Since I do not lust, it cannot be a crush [I'm Asexual. Meaning, I fall in love. Just love. Attraction of the body plays a severely minor role in it.] Trust you? "Until you have proof for me that" I can trust you...I won't. OK, you want proof, tell me what you need, because I don't want to give anything unnecessary. Unless the fact that I'm a highly dedicated person is worth something. I can go for years without something so long as I know I can have it. So far it's never been a person, but I've gotten the first thing I've ever asked for just recently...I asked for it when I was 4. I'm 15 now, I asked to be homeschooled the day after I started school, my parents always told me no for years upon years, but I knew this was one thing I knew that if I tried long and hard enough, I'd get it, of course I didn't know that until I was 7, nut whatever. A puppy, my dad hates animals, but me and my sister used to beg him all the time to get one, then I realized that this was one thing I wasn't going to get because of the surrounding factors, so I stopped asking. This time, it's 50/50...Honestly, it could go either way, and if I can change the surrounding factor by 1%, that's enough to go for it. All I need is 51/49 and I can do what I want to do, so far I'm almost there. I'm highly manipulative, clever, sneaky, underhanded, determined, lazy, and I know what needs to be done to turn the odds in my favor.
      What do you consider normal? I spend 24/7 at home, talking to no one but my parents and sister, sometimes my friend. I'm an agoraphobic who hates the outdoors, though luckily, I can stay out for a little while and manage to not pass out. So I hardly see the light of day anymore, is that normal? Then again...Define normal. Screw society, they've always hated me no matter what I did anyway. How can you be so sure? I'm quite picky and have high-standards, I trust almost no one, and people worship me for it... God, I'm so glad I'm out of that whacked-out school. Who the Hell worships a woman they can't have?! Then when I give them the time of day, they start treating me like trash and I usually end up breaking some part of their body. Don't tell me there are PLENTY of decent guys out there, because that is such a load of bullshit! I think I should know too, I was stalked, molested, jumped, and almost raped by a whole bunch of guys I only had run-ins with [luckily it was just almost, my male friends act as my some-what bodyguards. They however are not dating material for me.] Some, maybe, but PLENTY, I think not... Who fucking knows, maybe that's the only reason why I feel they way I do... But who cares, they're my fucking emotions, and I know how they work.
      Aside from all that, it doesn't matter how many guys are out there, I'm not some kind of slut... No decent guy would ever want to be with me because only the human scum of the earth is attracted to me... Which brings me to my main point: I swore to never love anyone, and now look what happened to me?! Love is the most horrible emotion ever created, and sadly the most wonderful. I can't explain how it happened, why it happened, or what triggered it...All I know is what I feel, and that I'm not stupid like most teens are, not the brightest either, but I've always taken the best coarse of action when it comes to certain things. I know fully, what I'm getting into, I've taken in every factor, I know the risks of everything, the odds are going to be shifted one way or the other. Whatever the outcome, it's not going to stop me. The only reason I asked my question and bothered explaining myself to you people was so you could get the slightest idea of the torment that I feel. And so I could get an idea on how to tell him because, well, I've never confessed to anyone before.
      Point: Not a crush, give me some real advice.


      a crush doesnt always have to be a physical thing. and having a crush doesnt mean youre a weak minded person, it just means you have an interest in that person. theres no wrong in lusting, every human does it, just as you are right now. most love relationships start out as lust. and what you have is lust. talk to me in 10 years and tell me you still love him, thats enough proof. if that happens, ill be impressed.

      and judging by your emotional issues, i also think it is a security issue. and yes, there are more decent guys out there in the world. dont believe me? go out there and meet each and every guy out there, out of the 6 billion people we have in this earth, and tell me you dont like at least 1 person besides your cousin.

      just because you like a lot of people doesnt mean youre a slut. it means youre open minded. sleeping around with or kissing other guys that you like while in a relationship, however, is being a slut. because if you had at least a little decency, youd tell that person youre in a relationship with that you dont want a relationship before you go fucking every guy out there. and i can tell youre not that kind of person.

      and dont lash out on me because of my opinions, i mean maybe i am wrong and you are in love with him, but my beliefs are my beliefs.

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      This is the first thread ive read and wow.
      Im going to give you my opinion you dont have to agree or accept it but please acknowledge it.
      I have a good friend of mine who has been in a similar situation to you plus her next door neighbour was in a relationship with her [the next door neighbour's] first cousin.
      It didnt turn out well for my friend she was hurt badly emotionally by her cousin and my other friends and I are still picking up the pieces. You cant take things back once they're said and done.
      You said this -''I know from the bottom of my heart what I feel, and that I've never felt this way before'' if that is true then how can you be so sure that what you feel is unconditional/romantic or in other words not family love, if you have never felt that way before. Im failing to see how you can know that its love. This might have a lot to do with the fact that I am reserved when it comes to love, i admit that i have lusted, i initially thought that my lust was love but i dont think so anymore. In my personal goings on, my lust/love whatever it was came in many different forms. By that i mean it wasnt the exact same feeling when it was for a different guy, if that makes sense. I would also like to point out that you say you dont believe there are other guys out there, when you also say you dont leave the house often, again i dont think you can be so sure of this if you actually dont leave the house.
      I go out a lot and ive been to different countries, in some way experienced different cultures and i know theres a lot of respectable guys with the sincerest of intentions. I dont want this to sound like im attacking you im not, its not easy to communicate the tone of something via a message board - apologies if it sounds like that. Just because in 15 years of your life you have never met a man so good/pure etc as the second cousin you speak about does not mean you wont meet someone later in life.
      Onto telling your cousin. My friend told her cousin she had feelings for him in person while they were on their own. I dont know exactly how she said it though.
      Well thats just my view on the matter im sorry i couldnt help more specifically and i wish you luck.

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      Lust is bad, lust is bad, lust is bad. But then again, I wouldn't be here if it were not for lust... That means, I'm bad, yup that's it. I always knew there was a reason I was so...Twisted, and not in this way either. AND I am not feeling lust, but I can never convince anyone of that because you people cannot see my eyes...You can tell from the eyes if it's love or lust. However, I can tell which is which, I've seen it before oh-so many times... So many, it's pathetic. Fine then, if I remember...10 years.

      I never said there were no others out there...Just not enough, it's pathetic the way children a raised now-a-days, I wouldn't bother you people if parents would grow a back-bone.

      Why do you think I like a lot of people? I said they worshiped me, then treated me like trash the moment I paid attention to them. I never liked those scum... I only date people if they impress me; no one impresses me. I'm open-minded? I suppose so...The reason I said that was because that's how I'm treated, that's why no decent guy will ever come near me, because they thing I'm some kind of whore... I have no idea why either, I don't dress nor act like one, I've never even had a date. Apparently, I just come off that way... Sick, twisted, judgmental, lustful, bastards...I look like an east lay, so I am, right? People are sick... At least you, however, can tell I am not that way, that's the only reason I'm going to listen to your input now...

      Lust is lust, love is love, life is life... It's all a game to me, because I've figured it out... "Life is a game," "Love is a battlefield," I've always sucked at games, but when it comes to anything that evolves a battle, I'll win it. Oh, and when I say it's all a game to me, that doesn't mean I'll play with people's emotions. I'm gunna lose, I suck at games, i know this...That's why I wanna play... On the off-chance I'll win.
      ----

      How do I know it's love? Simple...Because I've never felt it before. You can ask anyone falling in love for the first time that. Why should I be different? It's just something you know...Emotions are stored in the brain after all, and so you have to have a reason for something being triggered, even if you don't know what it is. It's like..."If you've been mis-treated your whole life, then one day someone shows you true kindness, you'll follow that person regardless if they are using you or if they are the most horrible person alive, because it's better than being alone." Mines not to that extreme, but you get it right? I feel for you friend, I really do...Alas, if I was her friend I'd tell her to tough it out, because I would, I'm not being full of myself...I really would, I'd just say "I'm fine." and pretend like I'm better, that way things can go back to being better...Or I'd keep my wide-range of knowing mouth shut and help her as well... Like I usually do. However, I do feel for her.
      I do not leave the house often, but that only just started...I went to school just last semester, but not anymore. Not to sound mean, but I'm not like your friend, I cannot break... I'll be sad if he rejects me, that's normal... But I'll be fine. After a few days of my nagging sister pissing me off, I'll be more or less normal again. Who really knows? I'm not the type to love, I'm the type to kill people, I will do it but only if they are bad, and no one wants to love a killer right? I know you're not attacking me... I know not all people are scum, when I say all, I'm generalizing...It's what I do...I take the majority and turn it into "all", so the details don't have to be explained...Thats what I did earlier. Greed, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath, Pride, Sloth....Those are the Seven Deadly Sins, everyone has at least one. Wrath, Pride, Sloth, Gluttony...4 of which I posses, none of which I want, except Sloth, because that one can get you places. If I should ever lust, I'd be worse off than I am, next would come greed because when you lust you want more, then envy because you know you can't have it but it's not fare others get to right? They feed off each other, and you have to stop the cycle, lust was coming, and I rejected it because it did nothing but make me feel like shit.... So to everyone: I know it's not lust.
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      Tayune wrote:

      Lust is bad, lust is bad, lust is bad. But then again, I wouldn't be here if it were not for lust... That means, I'm bad, yup that's it. I always knew there was a reason I was so...Twisted, and not in this way either. AND I am not feeling lust, but I can never convince anyone of that because you people cannot see my eyes...You can tell from the eyes if it's love or lust. However, I can tell which is which, I've seen it before oh-so many times... So many, it's pathetic. Fine then, if I remember...10 years.

      I never said there were no others out there...Just not enough, it's pathetic the way children a raised now-a-days, I wouldn't bother you people if parents would grow a back-bone.

      Why do you think I like a lot of people? I said they worshiped me, then treated me like trash the moment I paid attention to them. I never liked those scum... I only date people if they impress me; no one impresses me. I'm open-minded? I suppose so...The reason I said that was because that's how I'm treated, that's why no decent guy will ever come near me, because they thing I'm some kind of whore... I have no idea why either, I don't dress nor act like one, I've never even had a date. Apparently, I just come off that way... Sick, twisted, judgmental, lustful, bastards...I look like an east lay, so I am, right? People are sick... At least you, however, can tell I am not that way, that's the only reason I'm going to listen to your input now...

      Lust is lust, love is love, life is life... It's all a game to me, because I've figured it out... "Life is a game," "Love is a battlefield," I've always sucked at games, but when it comes to anything that evolves a battle, I'll win it. Oh, and when I say it's all a game to me, that doesn't mean I'll play with people's emotions. I'm gunna lose, I suck at games, i know this...That's why I wanna play... On the off-chance I'll win.
      ----

      How do I know it's love? Simple...Because I've never felt it before. You can ask anyone falling in love for the first time that. Why should I be different? It's just something you know...Emotions are stored in the brain after all, and so you have to have a reason for something being triggered, even if you don't know what it is. It's like..."If you've been mis-treated your whole life, then one day someone shows you true kindness, you'll follow that person regardless if they are using you or if they are the most horrible person alive, because it's better than being alone." Mines not to that extreme, but you get it right? I feel for you friend, I really do...Alas, if I was her friend I'd tell her to tough it out, because I would, I'm not being full of myself...I really would, I'd just say "I'm fine." and pretend like I'm better, that way things can go back to being better...Or I'd keep my wide-range of knowing mouth shut and help her as well... Like I usually do. However, I do feel for her.
      I do not leave the house often, but that only just started...I went to school just last semester, but not anymore. Not to sound mean, but I'm not like your friend, I cannot break... I'll be sad if he rejects me, that's normal... But I'll be fine. After a few days of my nagging sister pissing me off, I'll be more or less normal again. Who really knows? I'm not the type to love, I'm the type to kill people, I will do it but only if they are bad, and no one wants to love a killer right? I know you're not attacking me... I know not all people are scum, when I say all, I'm generalizing...It's what I do...I take the majority and turn it into "all", so the details don't have to be explained...Thats what I did earlier. Greed, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath, Pride, Sloth....Those are the Seven Deadly Sins, everyone has at least one. Wrath, Pride, Sloth, Gluttony...4 of which I posses, none of which I want, except Sloth, because that one can get you places. If I should ever lust, I'd be worse off than I am, next would come greed because when you lust you want more, then envy because you know you can't have it but it's not fare others get to right? They feed off each other, and you have to stop the cycle, lust was coming, and I rejected it because it did nothing but make me feel like shit.... So to everyone: I know it's not lust.


      if youre saying sex cant be involved with love... yeah it can. yeah, there are people who have one night stands, but you can still have sex with people you love. and eventually, you will want to have a family and children with that person.

      if you never felt what lust felt like, it can be confused with love. it happens to pretty much everyone. it happened to me, ive been there done that. im over it. i mean, yeah, age doesnt really matter, but you got a whole life ahead of you. youre only 15. and im 16, and i used to think i was in love and we used to tell each other that we loved each other. i dated her for like a year, until that cunt cheated on me. it was my first serious relationship so...

      just remember that feelings change, and if you say i love you to someone and 2 years later your feelings change, there is no way to take those words back. and you will feel stupid because of it. trust me.

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      Sex and lust don't always go hand-in-hand. I'm Asexual, I don't find men or women attractive, I find attractive features in them and such, but not in the way most people do. Difficult to explain...But you are right about wanting it, but I only want the closeness that it brings, nothing more. If one day I want to have a child, with any man, then I'll get married and do so. But, I wouldn't be a good mother, and with the so-called "curse" on the women in our family, I don't think I'll ever find anyone. But, I'm not one for curses, nor coincidences, it's odd how my mom and dad are the only ones who are not hiding something big. Anyway... You don't have to lust to have sex, it doesn't add fully together.

      I guess I worded that wrong, when I said that it came and I rejected it, I was implying that it was there for a while, it drove me crazy so I rejected it, I got it out of my system, and I'm one of the few teens you'll find today that has not done something stupid because hormones took over my judgment. She cheated on you? Hummm...Must be one of those hormone fulled boy-crazy girls, yeah? IDK... But, that's also what's different about me, I would never cheat on anyone, ever. I'm highly monogamist and couldn't even think about doing such a horrible thing. My moral views are what have decided that as well that I have seen the affects it can have on surrounding people. My friend, used to go out with almost every guy we knew...Never slept with them, but she saw more than one guy at once, and the guys didn't care. I always thought: It's not fair, she's doing something wrong, her punishment should be equal to the crime... Soon enough, it was, she was punished...for the wrong thing, but since then, she's gotten better. But, it tore everyone apart in our little circle of friends. Yeah, I'm 15, so what? I'm way smarter than most you'll find, I was smart enough to have a 120 IQ at 4...Apparently the IQ test was the only way I could get into school or something? IDK, schools are stupid, public ones. The average is 90-110, and the last one I took it was 121, so I take it I'm pretty smart. Age doesn't matter when it comes to me, I'm more mature than I act, yeah, unbelievable, I know, but true.

      I know feelings change... But I don't *twitch* do well with *twitch* change. But, it's going to kill me if I don't tell...What's sad is that I'm a great liar, but I can only hold a lie for so long, I have to tell the truth at sometime, and I never bother to think when I do...So it's the worse possible time. And there actually is a way, it's just not easy, at all. I will say that my feelings hardly ever change, if I love something, I love something, if I hate it, I hate it...And so on. And it stays like that until someone convinces me I'm wrong...To bad I'm not easily convinced. I hardly ever feel stupid, even if I'm wrong... Here is some free advice I learned from experience: Do not say "trust me", people hate it, and I can see why, it makes you seem stupid like a child, which I'm not REALLY a child. So, I wouldn't say that, mainly to people you know do not trust others unless people prove themselves to be trustworthy. I do not find you trustworthy, for many reasons, so please do not say it.
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      Tayune wrote:

      Sex and lust don't always go hand-in-hand. I'm Asexual, I don't find men or women attractive, I find attractive features in them and such, but not in the way most people do. Difficult to explain...But you are right about wanting it, but I only want the closeness that it brings, nothing more. If one day I want to have a child, with any man, then I'll get married and do so. But, I wouldn't be a good mother, and with the so-called "curse" on the women in our family, I don't think I'll ever find anyone. But, I'm not one for curses, nor coincidences, it's odd how my mom and dad are the only ones who are not hiding something big. Anyway... You don't have to lust to have sex, it doesn't add fully together.

      I guess I worded that wrong, when I said that it came and I rejected it, I was implying that it was there for a while, it drove me crazy so I rejected it, I got it out of my system, and I'm one of the few teens you'll find today that has not done something stupid because hormones took over my judgment. She cheated on you? Hummm...Must be one of those hormone fulled boy-crazy girls, yeah? IDK... But, that's also what's different about me, I would never cheat on anyone, ever. I'm highly monogamist and couldn't even think about doing such a horrible thing. My moral views are what have decided that as well that I have seen the affects it can have on surrounding people. My friend, used to go out with almost every guy we knew...Never slept with them, but she saw more than one guy at once, and the guys didn't care. I always thought: It's not fair, she's doing something wrong, her punishment should be equal to the crime... Soon enough, it was, she was punished...for the wrong thing, but since then, she's gotten better. But, it tore everyone apart in our little circle of friends. Yeah, I'm 15, so what? I'm way smarter than most you'll find, I was smart enough to have a 120 IQ at 4...Apparently the IQ test was the only way I could get into school or something? IDK, schools are stupid, public ones. The average is 90-110, and the last one I took it was 121, so I take it I'm pretty smart. Age doesn't matter when it comes to me, I'm more mature than I act, yeah, unbelievable, I know, but true.

      I know feelings change... But I don't *twitch* do well with *twitch* change. But, it's going to kill me if I don't tell...What's sad is that I'm a great liar, but I can only hold a lie for so long, I have to tell the truth at sometime, and I never bother to think when I do...So it's the worse possible time. And there actually is a way, it's just not easy, at all. I will say that my feelings hardly ever change, if I love something, I love something, if I hate it, I hate it...And so on. And it stays like that until someone convinces me I'm wrong...To bad I'm not easily convinced. I hardly ever feel stupid, even if I'm wrong... Here is some free advice I learned from experience: Do not say "trust me", people hate it, and I can see why, it makes you seem stupid like a child, which I'm not REALLY a child. So, I wouldn't say that, mainly to people you know do not trust others unless people prove themselves to be trustworthy. I do not find you trustworthy, for many reasons, so please do not say it.


      yeah... id say the best feelings of it is the closeness of your partner. but i regret not waiting.

      i didnt say you would cheat on anyone. i was just stating the fact that i was blinded like you are. and i have a iq of 121 too... haha nice high 5!!!

      but iq is not the point. i can see you are a good and smart person, and even if i dont know you, i want the best for you. and i am just stating my opinion on what i think is the best for you. i know what im saying is a little freaky and seems like im like... your parents or something... but even if i dont know you, i know you are a human like me and the rest of the world.

      no you are not a child. but, if you really think thats what im implying, then im sorry.

      so idk... your life is not my life, i can not manipulate you and i cannot choose your choices. but whatever choices you choose, think carefully. if you think telling him is the best thing to do, follow your instincts, not anyone elses, and you will know when to tell him when the time comes. but anyways, good luck. :)

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      You are a very determined young woman. I wish you the best of luck, just not sure how i can help any further, as I don't feel deep down that you actually need it... again my meaning might be lost a bit but I do get the impression you know the outcome of the majority situations that could arise. So just go for it, what happens, happens. :)
      'Knock me down I'll get right back up again, I'll come back stronger than a powered up Pac Man'

      Karma's a bitch :lol:

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      I intend to wait, regardless of how anything works out.

      I know you didn't, but...Oh, Gawd I don't feel like going into this; well I'm not blind, but if I am...I still know what I'm doing. Because I'm just that way... So that part, it's not a big deal. Well, 121 or 125, the real one I took last year was 125, but the internet one I took this year was 121, but I'll still high-five to that.

      Yeah, yeah, I know... But it's funny how what everyone thinks is best for me is different. My parents? No where close, I couldn't hold a debate with my father like...Ever. Human? Well, I'm glad you think that way. Now I know at least you have common sense, that's good, always keep that. But, you feel like you have a moral obligation to help me or something, do you? That's both good and bad, it's good when used correctly, but...Eh, I won't go into it. I don't wanna lecture you too much.

      Just the way things are worded, you know? People treat me like a child for no reason at all, and I hate it. But it's alright.

      You are correct, especially over the internet, you can't do that. I always think carefully, unless of course I think my gut is right, and when that happens it's usually right. Honestly, for me, telling him is the best thing to do. Now question, if you thought that, why just not tell me that then answer my real question, ne? But thank you, if it's any credit, I could not tell if you meant that or not, most people are like open books to me and I can tell if they don't mean something, but you are quite odd... You have my respect. I don't like you all much [no offense, IDL most people], but I respect you...So thank you.
      ----

      Yes, highly determined! *does anime-thumbs-up pose* Don't need help or what? The way you worded that was kinda confusing. Oh, you're smart... I have worked out multiple situations in my head, alas, I'm not able to take in ever single factor. The most important one...How does he feel about me? That's the one, IDK that one, soooo... It's unsolvable at this moment, and it will be until I get more info. But I can't tell him until at least the end of June, so I have till then. Some are so stupid they are just bound to end in failure, but the ones that don't are making my head explode...Because I'm more likely to preform the ones that end in failure. He'd figure it out before I'd get to say it if I tried the others...*sigh* Yeah, that's one thing I live by... Whatever life deals to me, I accept it. Oddly, this reminds me of poker...When I first knew how to play, I sill needed help, and my dad helped me, they were my cards and I'd have to play them, but when you are not familiar with something, you probably will need help with it. Kinda like this...
      ----

      So... Any other ways I could go about telling him? Anybody?
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    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      The last IQ test I did was 125 too. But I only class myself as fairly clever (I lack common sense a lot of the time!)
      The best and only way I'd tell him is face to face. Just say something like 'if I was to have other feelings for you, how would you feel?' and if you elaborate and he says he wouldnt like it then i'd still say just tell him if you still feel like you have to.
      If you have a great relationship with him you both should be able to get past it. Doesnt necessarily sound logical does it? if he doesn't like the fact that you do like him in a different way than you 'should', naturally you'd assume you wouldnt be able to get past it or it would be difficult between you but if the 'foundations' are great and if the friendship you share is strong you will get past it. Thats what i believe anyway. I apply that to any relationship. If one person says and does something that the other in the realtionship doesnt like then if the relationship is good then getting past it shouldnt be too difficult. Different, and nothings necessarily as black and white as that and its not like it wont require a bit of 'work' to make everything alright again. Am I making sense?
      My friend is so cut up about her situation because he led her on. Purely and simply. She thought everything was going to be great then he admitted he lied about his feelings and said he just wanted her for the sexual side of things. How do you repair a friend that was so misled. Thats hard for anyone to accept, I'd hate it if i was used for sex. There are men (and women) out there like that, but they arent all like that.
      'Knock me down I'll get right back up again, I'll come back stronger than a powered up Pac Man'

      Karma's a bitch :lol:

    • Re: Now my life is on contract. In love with cousin; how to tell him?

      It's a real hard one to judge honey, it could end up in tears but for all you know he could feel exactly the same. (Or you could just be his little cousin who he loves like FAMILY)
      Who knows?

      Let's imagine you told him and he felt the same, what would happen then? Would you start a relationship and pretend like nothings changed - think about how your family would react? I'm pretty sure my family wouldn't be 100% happy with it.

      And on the other hand if he doesn't, he might not ever talk to you again. If my cousin told me he was in love with me i think i'd probably break his nose and then never go near him again, i'd find it a little .. weird.

      But you should tell him.

      xx