i ll tell u what my bf did.. everytime he tried to do sth new, and tried to go further [because these things would be better to be done slowly not immediately, if u want to keep the relationship as u said] u can look at her and ask her "do u mind what i m doing?", and give her time to accept this, before going further.. Aw, and sometime, when u feel comfortable try to discuss it with her, to see what she would like to do. i think that its the best cause u show that u respect her and also, u should tell her that u will never rush her do things she doesnt want to.
aw, and when u go a bit further a time, its much better cause at first place u will feel much more comfortable with it and u will want in more, secondly..
hope i helped.
good luck!

I agree with butterfsofie, its what my bf does.

look man, do you love her, do you wanna be with her always?? then you gotta admit that you have to obey her and now that he "IS ALWAYS RIGHT" if she tellyou to go on, go on, if she tells you to stop, STOP!!
for all the men that didnt got it, if you love her and wanna be with her always, the U gotta admit that "SHE IS ALWAYS RIGHT", do what she asks you to do!

im sure going further is on her mind as well as on urs, so maybe talking about it first would help. or maybe u could do what u normally do, like kiss her, and stop softly every 20-30 secs and say 'do u like it?'. dont abruptly stop and demand an answer, just whisper it whilst lookin into her eyes. and make the tone of ur voice all soft aswell. that way, she'll know that u care what she thinks and if she says no at any point, u know ur limits. my ex bf did that ('u like that dont u?') and i dont think i ever said no. it drives the girl crazy because we're there thinking 'get on with it' and maybe she'll take control of the situation. who knows what will happen? dont knock it ill uv tried it. if u need anymore help pm me cuz im the queen of not going further because i dont wanna wreck it x