so there's this girl..

    • so there's this girl..

      this is my first post here, so hello everyone. I've never been on this sorta thing before

      Right, there's this girl and i first met her about 3 years ago and quickly became good friends. I liked her, and i told her about my feelings but she didnt have feelings for me like that so we went back to being friends. She then started going out with my friend and i was truly happy for them because they're both awesome people. Our friendship became very strong, and she then dumped my friend. We used to hang out in a big group of friends every saturday (only saturdays though, coz she lives 13 miles away).

      Then one day, her friend text me saying she had a spare ticket to a bullet for my valentine gig tomorrow, and offered me it so i went along. It was a good night, with little harmless flirting with the girl i liked, being sober. When we got back to her friends house (there was me, the girl i like, the girl who's house it was and another girl and boy) and me and the girl i liked slept on the sofa. Then, 'that moment' came and we kissed. The morning was awkward coz we both didnt know if it was a one off or anything. I didn't know whether to say that i liked her to her because of being rejected last time, so i sat back... and her friends were telling me that she liked me and i asked her out on a sunday night. She said yes, and we went out happily for 9 months.

      We then had an argument, and she dumped me... saying we drifted apart, and i was absolutely crushed... i still am now, 10 months on.

      2 months after we broke up, she started going out with someone else.. an older man. Just to mention i was 17 at the time, and she was 16 and her new boyfriend was..... 28!! I went through a rough patch, getting drunk and sending her messages saying i love her and need her.

      but yeah, that was all in november... now it's july and i've started to get feelings back for her (i have a feeling people will say i'm just holding on to a memory) we were eachother's first love and i still have a text that she sent me which said "i'm so totally in love with you" because it was the first time the 'L' word was mentioned. Anyway, the last 2 nights i've dreampt about her (not dirty dreams!) but it was nice to see her face there and i really do still like her, more than a friend. But, she's been with this older guy for 9 months now... and he treats her more than i could (because he has a full-time job, and i'm still in school)...

      i need help getting over her.

    • Re: so there's this girl..

      What's up man,

      First of all, I must say it's pretty normal to think about your first love, they're not a person you're ever going to forget. These are memories you're going to hold onto.

      As far as concerns go about actually being able to get over her, well, there's only so much you can do. Time plays a big roll in these sort of situations, willpower is also a step forward. If you're willing to go out and try to get over your feelings, it will be less hard on you.

      As a person who still cares for this girl, you have to respect the fact that she's engaged into another serious relationship, I feel that you should support her as a friend. You don't want to try and jump in the middle of things. Although personally another way to get over the emotional burden you feel for this girl is to tell her how you feel, you could consider this getting in the way, but it's really an exception for you. Sometimes dumping your feelings and getting things off your chest can really help you out a lot.

      Hopefully in the end things work out for you, don't make things awkward and try to force yourself back into this girls life, if you're going to try and be in it at all. Good luck.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Raylan Givens ().

    • Re: so there's this girl..

      may I add that maybe attempting to get yourself in another serious relationship like she has. I recommend someone that isn't 28 but I think if you get in another relationship that'll help. You can focus on someone else but still have the memories of that girl.
      I do agree that you should tell her your feelings though. Probably when you're sober.
      Hope you work it out.

    • Re: so there's this girl..

      People come and go all the time in life and it's absolutely normal to have feelings toward your first love. Even if she is your first love, it just makes it that much harder to get over her. Totally understandable, yet not totally impossible. Right now, she's involved with another person and all you can do is just stand by and let it happen to the best of them. Even if you don't feel like you should stand by, it's probably a good idea. You don't want to ruin the relationship with her and that's good.

      I can tell a lot that you care about her. Moving on from her is hard for you and as I stated above - it's hard to get over your first love and we understand. It might take time, but it depends on everyone. Do what you have to do to get over her. We're not in any position to tell you what you should do, because what works for us might not work for you. As always, you should do what's right for you.

      Good luck.
      [CENTER]You bitches are beautiful. :hugs:[/CENTER]

      The post was edited 1 time, last by armyforthebroken ().