i just really need some help... please.

    • i just really need some help... please.

      sooo i have this boyfriend, and we'be been together... ooh about a week.

      --quick background info, i usually avoid relationships, or anything, actually involving guys. i'm just afraid to let someone into my life, becasue people have a tendency to turn on me and leave... i just don't like trusting anyone. i push people away. it's what i do.

      anyways, so i tried my very hardest not to push this boy away. he was SO sweet to me-- he even waited at barns and noble with me at four am to wait for the new twilight book--loong-ass story. always held my hand, very cuddley.
      so then i went over to his house to watch a movie the other day, only like, the third time we've hung out while techinally TOGETHER. and we're watching a movie on his bed, and we start kissing. that's all good. but... then he started moving a little fast for me. like... hands in shirt and pants.
      (keep in mind, it's all new to me since i avoid relationships!!)
      i freak out and left after about an hour of this. he looked really sad when i left... and he texted me right away and appolgized for going so fast, and i told him i really didn't want to push him away andthat i wanted to go just a little bit slower...
      and he didn't text me until LATE the next day... and he wouldn't have texted me at all today except that i texted him... and he hasn't gone a day without texting me since the day he got my number.
      did i piss him off?? i know leaving was probably the worst thing i could have possibly done, but as someone who is sacred shittless of handing out trust and of realtionships, i HAD to get out of that situation!! HAD TO! i don't want him upset with me... WHAT SHOULD I DO?? and what if he's with me thinking that he's gonna just get in my pants? what if that's not what i want? how do i deal with this?? i really like him, obviously since i haven't pushed him away yet... but it's still so new!

    • Re: i just really need some help... please.

      if you were feeling uncomfortable you had every right to leave. if he gets pissed off just cuz you dont wanna move fast then he is really not worth ur time. you need to explain to him that you want to take things slow because you are new at this and dont want to screw it up. just be open with ur feelings. if he cares about you then he will understand. if all he wants is sex then you really deserve better than him. just talk to him about how you feel and how you want to go about ur relationship.
      good luck, hope things work out for you :)
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    • Re: i just really need some help... please.

      I think it's best if you just be honest with him, explain why you left and that you are not comfortable with moving that fast. Also tell him that you've never been in a relationship before and it takes you a while before you can trust and be comfortable with someone. Just tell him the truth, let him know you still do like him though and want to be with him.

      If he is just with you to get in your pants then he is not worth it and it's best you find out now than later in the relationship with stronger feelings have developed and it's harder to end the relationship.

    • Re: i just really need some help... please.

      Yeah, tell him to cool it, and take things slowly make a joke about it, but make it a little serious. Tell him you dont want to take it too fast, and that you need to do normal things. Tell him its ok to kiss and all, but dont go past that as you dont like it right now and it makes you feel uncomfortable. Then kiss him, and tell him you still like him. This will let you know he did something wrong but you still like him.

    • Re: i just really need some help... please.

      Well, leaving is your choice, but moving his hand is something you can do. I know from experience that a girl might move your hand while you start something but keep on doing what she feels ok. She in a way is telling you i like what we are doing but no further. So maybe next time just move his hand away. And tell him that you will let him do it once your ready. And when your ready move his hand there, and he will know that your ready to go. Make sure he understands that he should only do it if your ready, and maybe he already knows this. And just thought you were ready your self.

      Though the telling him what you didnt like and then kissing is a good idea because it puts him in his place, but then lets him know its ok, and you still like him even after his mistake.

    • Re: i just really need some help... please.

      Okay, first of all - it seems to me like you are moving fast for a couple who has been together for a week. I also agree with assassinROW when he said leaving was your choice. Although, if you felt too uncomfortable at the time, the choice to leave was a pretty good option. However, you could've approached this situation differently. Yeah, you could've moved his hand as a sign that says 'I'm not ready for that yet' and tell him that you're not too comfortable with moving too fast. He should respect that for what it is and he shouldn't give you a hard time about it.

      If you think he's insulted or angered in any way, the best thing to do about it is if you talked to him. Try to make him understand where you're coming from and why you want to take things slow. He'll probably back off from going too fast and he'll move things your pace. If you know for sure that you're ready to take it a step further, don't be afraid to tell him.

      Good luck.
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