Hello, I am a new member. I am posting this to get some good, quick advice on a situation I am currently experiencing. Any advice is appreciated.
I will try to keep this short, but explanatory. I became friends with a girl last October, she was in 11th Grade while I was in the begining of my Senior year. I was attracted to her, and we became great friends over the span of a month or so. Near the end of November, after talking countless hours on the phone, internet, and at school (we only had one class together), we went on a few dates. We got along great, and really had fun. Eventually we kissed, and we did a lot the next few times we met. Soon after I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she gladly accepted. We were inseperable for awhile. Things went great, we were best friends and dating.
We were together through November, December, January, February, and through March. On April 1st, we were hanging out doing homework and things together, and she said she needed to talk to me. I had to convince her to talk, and she explained she didn't know if she saw me as anything as her best friend anymore. She said at first she thought I was perfect for her, but then that now she just sees me as her best friend. Caring for her as much as I do, I respected her decision and wasn't immature or a dick about any of it. I took her home, we kissed one more time, and sadly we cried together and hugged each other. I drove home, depressed as fuck.
After that night, I was too numb to care about anything really. She was the only girl I truly loved. I know people have said this before, but would have done anything for her. I went to my favorite band DevilDriver's concert the following night, and it was one of the best days of my life. I was able to meet the band, and they even gave me their guitar lol. It took the edge off of it all. But in the back of my mind the pain was still there the whole night. After the concert, I was in full "heart break" mode. All I did was think about her and think of ways to make it work. We talked as much as we did before, and she said she had mixed feelings. Eventually she admitted that I was her bestfriend, and she still did like me more then a friend. But she didn't wish to be in a relationship at this time in her life, she had family issues that I know about, but do not wish to post in public. Once again, I respected this decision and we decided to stay good friends, since both of us didn't plan on dating anyone else anytime soon anyways.
I was still in pain, but we were good friends. We hung out as much as we did before, and talked as much too. The thing is, sometimes when I would say things, she would kiss me. We were not completely sexual in our relationship yet, but we did some things. A few times we even did these things randomely. I enjoyed them, and the kissing, but it made me wish we were together. One day she called me to say she missed me. Those things were great, but in the long run they were like torture. All I wanted was those things with her, as my girlfriend.
Since then, she will be entering her Senior year in a few short weeks. I am working, and attending a close college next year. She plans on attending a close college after she graduates next year. We still talk everyday, and hang out. Not as much as we used to, but still a lot. Recently there has only been a few instances of random kissing. One of those times was when I told her I still loved her, at a concert we went to of her favorite band.
I have smoked Marijuana for the past few years, not to be cool, or fit in. I do it because I enjoy the effects, and because it takes some of my stress and depression away. I have been using it heavily since we broke up. I don't see this as a problem, although some may. I know if doesn't take my problems away, but it makes me forget about them for awhile.
So what I am asking, is what should I do? Should I continue being friends with her, and constantly put myself through torture of wanting her? I really value our friendship, I would not want to lose it. Or should I just get away from her altogether? Should I never give up, because I truly do love her, and wish I could show her some how. It also doesn't help that her past relationships have all been with assholes and they all failed. I wish I could show her ours could be different.
I am sorry for writing so much, I had to get it all out, and explain it all. Sorry if there are like 1,000 more threads like this, I an new remember. Sorry for any typos.
Any advice is appreciated, and thanks to the people who took time to read what I took time to write. Thanks, it means a lot to me.
I will try to keep this short, but explanatory. I became friends with a girl last October, she was in 11th Grade while I was in the begining of my Senior year. I was attracted to her, and we became great friends over the span of a month or so. Near the end of November, after talking countless hours on the phone, internet, and at school (we only had one class together), we went on a few dates. We got along great, and really had fun. Eventually we kissed, and we did a lot the next few times we met. Soon after I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she gladly accepted. We were inseperable for awhile. Things went great, we were best friends and dating.
We were together through November, December, January, February, and through March. On April 1st, we were hanging out doing homework and things together, and she said she needed to talk to me. I had to convince her to talk, and she explained she didn't know if she saw me as anything as her best friend anymore. She said at first she thought I was perfect for her, but then that now she just sees me as her best friend. Caring for her as much as I do, I respected her decision and wasn't immature or a dick about any of it. I took her home, we kissed one more time, and sadly we cried together and hugged each other. I drove home, depressed as fuck.
After that night, I was too numb to care about anything really. She was the only girl I truly loved. I know people have said this before, but would have done anything for her. I went to my favorite band DevilDriver's concert the following night, and it was one of the best days of my life. I was able to meet the band, and they even gave me their guitar lol. It took the edge off of it all. But in the back of my mind the pain was still there the whole night. After the concert, I was in full "heart break" mode. All I did was think about her and think of ways to make it work. We talked as much as we did before, and she said she had mixed feelings. Eventually she admitted that I was her bestfriend, and she still did like me more then a friend. But she didn't wish to be in a relationship at this time in her life, she had family issues that I know about, but do not wish to post in public. Once again, I respected this decision and we decided to stay good friends, since both of us didn't plan on dating anyone else anytime soon anyways.
I was still in pain, but we were good friends. We hung out as much as we did before, and talked as much too. The thing is, sometimes when I would say things, she would kiss me. We were not completely sexual in our relationship yet, but we did some things. A few times we even did these things randomely. I enjoyed them, and the kissing, but it made me wish we were together. One day she called me to say she missed me. Those things were great, but in the long run they were like torture. All I wanted was those things with her, as my girlfriend.
Since then, she will be entering her Senior year in a few short weeks. I am working, and attending a close college next year. She plans on attending a close college after she graduates next year. We still talk everyday, and hang out. Not as much as we used to, but still a lot. Recently there has only been a few instances of random kissing. One of those times was when I told her I still loved her, at a concert we went to of her favorite band.
I have smoked Marijuana for the past few years, not to be cool, or fit in. I do it because I enjoy the effects, and because it takes some of my stress and depression away. I have been using it heavily since we broke up. I don't see this as a problem, although some may. I know if doesn't take my problems away, but it makes me forget about them for awhile.
So what I am asking, is what should I do? Should I continue being friends with her, and constantly put myself through torture of wanting her? I really value our friendship, I would not want to lose it. Or should I just get away from her altogether? Should I never give up, because I truly do love her, and wish I could show her some how. It also doesn't help that her past relationships have all been with assholes and they all failed. I wish I could show her ours could be different.
I am sorry for writing so much, I had to get it all out, and explain it all. Sorry if there are like 1,000 more threads like this, I an new remember. Sorry for any typos.
Any advice is appreciated, and thanks to the people who took time to read what I took time to write. Thanks, it means a lot to me.
[SIZE=5]Forever Ends When Everything Becomes Nothing[/SIZE]