Okay, recently I've had a huge row with my mum and her husband (I don't call him "dad").
This guy who my mum has married, has been with my mum since I was very young, and up until now (17 years old) I've always hated him. For many reasons.
There's always been ups and downs, arguments and fallouts.
But I live in care, and I was visiting them to see my brother who lives with my mum and her partner for a weekend. Until the argument broke out.
It started when I was caught cutting myself (I did it because it was a habbit, I was severely depressed). And my mum laughed at me. Things grew more and more personal, there was yelling and screaming. All this late at night and my brother was upstairs listening and unable to do anything. My mum's husband shouted "bitch" at me, I was shocked, then my mum called me a bitch. I knew they really hated me. Then he said something very personal:
"By the time you hit 18 you're gonna be raped and a sad single mum for the rest of your sad life."
This really, really hit me hard. And by that time my brother almost came down and knocked him out. It affected him too. By this time it was past 2am, and I ran away. It was dark and the area was not safe at all, but I didn't care one bit. A while after I was found by him and told me to get in the car, I knew this wasn't going to be a pleasant car ride at all, but I eventually got in the car. We both rowed and screamed so much I almost gave up and wanted to open the door and jump out (we were going at a fast speed at the time).
This has been biting at me since then, and I want to get over it but I don't know how. I've had a terrible, terrible childhood. I just want to get over it all and live my own life without the guilt and pain. But how can I do that?
This guy who my mum has married, has been with my mum since I was very young, and up until now (17 years old) I've always hated him. For many reasons.
There's always been ups and downs, arguments and fallouts.
But I live in care, and I was visiting them to see my brother who lives with my mum and her partner for a weekend. Until the argument broke out.
It started when I was caught cutting myself (I did it because it was a habbit, I was severely depressed). And my mum laughed at me. Things grew more and more personal, there was yelling and screaming. All this late at night and my brother was upstairs listening and unable to do anything. My mum's husband shouted "bitch" at me, I was shocked, then my mum called me a bitch. I knew they really hated me. Then he said something very personal:
"By the time you hit 18 you're gonna be raped and a sad single mum for the rest of your sad life."
This really, really hit me hard. And by that time my brother almost came down and knocked him out. It affected him too. By this time it was past 2am, and I ran away. It was dark and the area was not safe at all, but I didn't care one bit. A while after I was found by him and told me to get in the car, I knew this wasn't going to be a pleasant car ride at all, but I eventually got in the car. We both rowed and screamed so much I almost gave up and wanted to open the door and jump out (we were going at a fast speed at the time).
This has been biting at me since then, and I want to get over it but I don't know how. I've had a terrible, terrible childhood. I just want to get over it all and live my own life without the guilt and pain. But how can I do that?
