You really need to see someone to help you through stress like this. It will make a huge change, honestly.
As for the situation, i think you should sit down and explain these feelings to her, she is obviously not with a very nice guy at the moment, he seems wrong for her from my point of view. It would be unfair on the child to have to grow seeing that too. I understand this must be difficult, especially with a new baby being on its way, so wouldnt it be great for you to be there as a loving father for your baby? Pressuming this baby is yours, right? would that child want to see its father drinking, smoking like that? That will really make you feel low in yourself. Seek help, it will help you to stop and it will get your life back on track again, it did me a lot. I very much hope for yours, hers and the childs sake everything gets sorted soon for you all:)

If the kid isnt yours, maybe try (i know this wont be easy) but if you try not to have too much to do with her you will gradually learn to realize you may nopt be with her again, losing someone that you love was difficult for me, but it gradually got better over time. do her parents know how he treats her?

Hey addicted,

First off let me say that I really feel for you. It's not a nice situation, and no one wants to be in it.

Now, about the pregnancy. I personally think you should give yourself some credit, it must have been an extreme thing for you to accept - but, you have. Isn't that an achievement in itself?

I'm sure you know this already, but smoking, drinking and being tempted to self harm isn't the road to go down here - as tempting as it is. But, please believe me when I say; doing all the things is just going to make you feel even worse. Initially, it makes you feel better, am I right? Being drunk, you're problems seem to disappear. Smoking relaxes you and you're not so uptight about them and self harm, again, it makes you feel better, like you have "escaped", does that make sense?

What I would say is that you need to find a different way to express how you feel, it's true that you do - but when you're feeling depressed, I personally find that it's the last thing you want to hear. Aswell as "Awww, it'll all be okay" you know what I mean? So, I won't say them things to you. However, what I will say is that smoking, drinking and considering self harm isn't going to help you - and, thats what you want right? Help to get over this tough patch?

"How exactly can I drop this?" Maybe you can't just "drop" this? Maybe it's going to take time for you to get over her pregnancy and you're romantic feelings for her, infact, it will take time for you, you know? You can't just switch you're feelings off, thats a fact. I know that it's really difficult to stop thinking about something that you're trying to forget about, but, with you're SATs coming up, you need to concentrate on yourself.

The right way to get through this is without the elements you're using to get out of this. By that, I mean, drinking, smoking and cutting. It's good that you haven't actually self harmed, let's keep it that way, yea? I know it's easier said then done, though.

I know this post won't have offered you much help, but, just know that I am only a PM away if you would like to chat further about it. We're all here to help you. Sorry it wasn't much help.

Support Leader,

SimpleGirl*

Hey sorry I couldn't post advice earlier... However, this is how I see the situation:

So a girl you loved left and became pregnant, and you're still in love with her?
Now the question I was thinking whilst reading this was... Why is this person harming themselves through drink, smoke and self harm for someone who most likely wasn't faithful to them whilst in a relationship, and ended up pregnant in a bad relationship with a guy... I don't see the logic

Like a lot of people said, when you're in the process of getting over someone... You need to focus on yourself. I'm not going to lie to say it's going to be easy because it will hurt like hell... But it WILL be worth it!

All I can suggest, and I don't think you'll take this advice, but I'd keep as far away as possible from this girl because she's obviously bad news. Now being that you love her, it will be hard so maybe try distancing for a while... Tell her that you're hurt deeply and it's going to take a lot to get over it... So you're going to take time to yourself to get over everything that's happened.

Now for the good stuff... Smoking? Drinking? Thoughts of self harm? 3 big no nos!! But by saying that, you've not resorted to drugs so you do get some credit for thinking strraight.. Well done

Would you say that you're addicted to smoking and drinking? Because you will need to stop to ensure that you feel better. There is a lot of support out there to help you stop and deal with your stress in different ways.

All I can suggest is that you're young... YOu should be living life the way you wanted and not take your freedom for granted. Spend fun times with your friends, enjoy your life that you're not the one who's going to be stuck with a baby for the rest of their life and you are free to do as you please. Please don't confine yourself inside because of thisbecause that never helps.

What you need to remember too, is that this is your last year in school right? Next year you'll be going to college... Moving out possibly? New people to see, new people to meet. New love. New life! Live it, love it!

Keep your chin up and keep us posted on your progress.
We're ALWAYS here to help okies, so don't hesitate :p

Good Luck!!!

Support Leader,

Lana x_<3

Hey again!



Give yourself some credit, addicted. You told her how you felt knowing that she doesn't want to be with you romantically, surely that takes some courage, right? So, I just wanted to say good on you for doing that, it musn't have been easy. Does she see it the same way as you? I mean, not wanting to raise a child whilst with a women?

I try to have time to myself, try to concentrate on other things but then sometimes, in the moment I feel hurt all over again.

I cut because of her about 8 months ago and havent done it but now it's just tempting. I mean, sure, smoking relaxes me keeps me occupied and I know this will hurt her if she knew I did this because of her. I mean Saturday night I actually let my friends exboyfriend get me drunk and smoke some hookah and we were both confessing our issues, which btw my friend would kill if she knew I drank with him.

Of course thats going to happen, if you're really hurt by something it's going to take alot of time to stop thinking about it constantly, then now and again then never, you know what I mean? You could be fine all day, and keep 'a lid' on you're emotions, but then, the situation you are feeling hurt over seems to just repeat in you're mind - and here comes them feelings of hurt, upset and depression? Or, is that just me?

About the self harming - don't give into that temptation, or try not to rather. If she's hurt by you smoking, how would she feel about you cutting into you're flesh, you know what I mean? Getting drunk now and again, I don't think is a big deal - it's fun. But, when you're only drinking because you feel depressed or just for a few hours to forget everything - it's not really a good thing, you know what I mean? Feels great initially, but, in my experience it just makes you feel even worse eventually.

What could I do to stop the substance use then? Thats a first to get over I guess.

Seek some advice about how to stop using the substance correctly? I'm not really sure of how to go by it - so, I can't really advise you on this much. Sorry.

I'm just so hurt lately. I'm sorry if my issue sounds stupid. I need to find away to make myself happier. I dont want to make my senior year a complete downer just because I'm depressed over something I cant erase.

You're issue does not sound stupid.
I agree with you, you do need to find a way to make yourself happier and start getting you're life filled with happy things and emotions, would you agree with that? Do you think that you have accepted that things between you and you're friend is never going to go back to the romantic relationship you once had? Because, I don't think you have. Am I wrong?

Personally, i've found that, to get on with things that are/have hurt you - you need to come to some kind of acceptence with yourself like; "Okay, this has happened. I can't do anything about it - whats done, is done." I'm not saying it's easy to accept it - it's quite the opposite. And, it takes time to come to terms with it - as i'm sure you know, right? But, have the knowledge of knowing that you will eventually accept how hurt you feel and automatically pick yourself up and start living life with a bit more happiness, does that make sense?

I hope this helped a little, always here to help. As is everyone on here.
Take care, yea?

Support Leader,

SimpleGirl*