Man I've been going through so many different emotions lately and thinking about death almost everyday. I am turning seventeen years old in November and I feel like I failed my teenage years and I just can't take it. I have no real friends at home but a few at school. I am so insecure about myself. Its because of the size of my head, it has affected the way I have lived. I am about 5'8" and the size of my head is kinda big for my body.
I have been made fun of my entire life from elementary and middle school. It never really bothered me in elementary in middle school but it has deeply affected me through my high school years. I've been called big head a few times and it really hurts me inside. Whenever I walk through the hallways I get stares from people and I start going crazy and ask myself were they staring at me cause they noticed I had a disproportional sized head. I barely have spoken to any girls at all in high school because I'm afraid that they will think I'm a freak or something cause my head looks big.
Im afraid to go outside anymore because I always get the feeling of people staring at my head. My friends from school I don't know but its like they don't see the size of my head and haven't really made fun of me or called me big head so I feel comfortable around them but when I walk by myself in the hallways I feel like everyone is looking at me all the time.
I get depressed everyday because I look at everyone else and everyone looks so normal and I'm the only one with the biggest head. If I didn't have freaking macrocephaly or disproportionalized size head I would be more confident in myself but I just don't. I was thinking maybe I could hide the size of my head by growing out my hair but I think it will just make my head look even bigger,
Ever since high school I have been thinking suicide, and the past couple weeks I have been thinking about suicide even more but I just can't do it because I love my family too much and I don't want to leave them. My little brother is probably the only person that has prevented me from commiting suicide because I love him too much to leave him. The only reason I continue to live is because of him, but its so hard when your lonely and depressed.

I was searching through Google and found a website blog full of comments about people who also have the same flaw as me here
pauldavidson.net/2004/11/23/my-head-is-huge/
and it has made me feel a little better knowing I am not the only one who has this problem and there are other people out there.
I swear if I just looked a little more normal I would be way more confident and do things I am to shy to do but I just can't. The only places I feel comfortable are at home and on the baseball field. I play shortstop for my high school varsity baseball team and I feel really comfortable during practices and games because everyone respects me because they know I'm really good. I also think wearing hat makes my head look a little smaller. But anywhere else I think when people see me the first thing they think is "whoa his head is kinda big".

I don't really feel comfortable posting a picture of myself on the net maybe I will, but I'm definately not over reacting. When I look at myself I can definately see why people see that my head is big and what makes it worse is that Im really skinny and short 5'8". I look like a walking lollipop. Maybe if I was taller it my head would look more proportional, also Ive always had short hair all my life but I was thinking if I grow my hair really long it could kinda hide the size of my head.
I don't really know why my head is so big I mean I couldn't have inherited it because my mom's head is small and I was looking at pictures of my dad, he died when I was 4, and his head seemed proportional and not big. I have heard though about my mom telling me when I was a child, I had many incidents where I fell of really high places like she told me one time when I was 2 or 3 years old still living in my country, I was standing at the top of a set of stairs, and one of the people watching me freaked out and screamed because I wasn't suppose to be there and when she freaked out, it caused me to jump and I fell down the stairs and maybe landed on my head. She also told me one time that a person was holding me when I was a baby and dropped me on my head. I know, I had bad babysitters but my parents worked hard everyday and I mean everyday so we could have food on the table everyday back then, we were very poor so they had to leave me with I guess unreliable babysitters.
Maybe these incidents did it, like caused my head to become big I don't know I'm just guessing.

Do you have a big head? How would you feel when people stare at you and make fun of you calling you bighead bobblehead since you were a child. Ohh you wouldn't know cause you don't have a big head. At least you don't have people stare at you awkardly and laugh at you like they do at me and I try to pretend I don't care but I can't. If there was a heaven and hell after this life and the devil came to me and told me I could look normal if I sold my soul I wouldn't even think about it I would say yes instantly!

Are you saying your fat. Can't you work out and make yourself turn those man boobs into a ripped chest because at least you can do something about it to change it. You can't do anything for a big head, to change it, I would do anything that would allow me to look normal but there isn't anything I can do, no surgery nothing. What sucks is that there is mostly surgery for everything else, they have nose surgery lip surgery lipo suction but no acceptable surgery to make your head smaller. I would rather have those man boobs because then I would be determined to work out to get rid of them but I can't be determined to do anything to make my head smaller.

Also I don't really get mad at all when my friends make fun of me or say something about my head, it really doesn't affect me as much but when strangers tell me "Hey you have a big head" or when I hear behind my back "look at that kid's head" it really pisses me off and hurts my feelings and makes me feel like a freak. I had one incident during my freshman year, I was walking by myself to class, and these three black kids who were like sophomores but they were a little taller than me, well they were hanging in the hallway, as I walked and got closer one of them grabbed me from behind by the shoulders and stopped me and then he told his friends "Look at this kid he's a bobblehead look how big his head is" and started shaking me and pushed me and they started laughing. It hurt my feelings so much and made me angry that I punched him in the face and I never been in a fight before but at that point I didn't care because I was depressed so I was like I don't care if these kids beat me up to death, I punched him right in the nose and then his two friends came and pushed me to the ground and jumped me but a teacher came and stopped it. I got a few punches to the face but my feeling were hurt way more than those punches. We all got in trouble and I was in detention for many weeks but it pissed me off so much at that point that I couldn't control myself normally I would have just tried to ignore it but I couldn't that time.