I no what you mean.

Only way to get around it is to follow your own ideas/morals/opinions etc otherwise you are just following others. And that only comes with getting older. You cant just skip that part of your life.

I can very much relate to that. I find a large disconnect between who I want to be, who I think I am, and how I see myself.

Sometimes my views can change monthly, daily, or by the hour! Often I will swing from thinking I'm funny, to thinking I'm boring, to thinking I'm too quiet, to thinking I need to shut my mouth since I'm too outspoken, etc.

It doesn't always get easier as you grow up either, since there are so many different things being told to us from so many different directions. I'm 24 and still feel like I have no clue about who I am. I am constantly finding myself confused by my morals, ideals, or personality traits. It's a bit hard to give input or advice on how to more fully understand who you are as a person, since it can vary so much, especially when you and your friends are at such a growth point in your life. I do, for sure, feel that it becomes easier to accept who you are in the moment as you get older. You stop worrying so much about who you WANT to me and just try to be more happy with who you ARE, even if who you are can vary hour to hour.

I come from a religious background. I think everyone goes through this at different points in their lives. Some go through it more than once. I think once you have found a purpose for what you are suppose to do, you end up finding out who you are as well. I still don't know my exact purpose but I live each day like it's my last. If you just live your life and stop worrying about the little things that don't matter in much, everyone will have a smile on their face. The reason they worry about finding who they are is because they have nothing else to worry about. But when they reach adulthood they have more responsibilities and more weight on their shoulders.

Oh yeah, who said "It is better to have loved and lost, than not at all." should've been shot =)

The best thing about a teenager is the chance to experiment, try new things, discover new interests, form your character.
I'm 17, i left school with no idea of who i truly was, i'd been through a lot and changed my mind and opinions so many many times, eventually, it will all stop but even then alot of people don't feel they know themselves, with your friends you just have to wait until they find themselves.

I look up to a couple of brilliant people on this board, and they have helped me find confidence in myself beyond all my expectation.

Advice sometimes can be tough, and one my friends doesn't beat about the bush when she deals with me, difficult as I sometimes am. We don't take kindly to hard talk because often we are stubborn and childish; at least I know I am. But accepting oneself and trying really hard to get better may seem like an impossible mountain to climb, but there is no such thing as can't, if one can only have self-belief the size of a poppy seed.

I have finally "discovered" myself: what I want and where I'm heading to. It's been a tough climb as some of you here will know. But the best is yet to come. And you just have to believe it's true.


Poppi Georgina

I have no idea what I am anymore.

But I guess it just takes time.

Finding yourself should not be rushed, for you could find pleasure in reading literature (Like Charles Dickens, the Brontes, Somerset Maughan etc), turn off the friggin' computer and get out into the country or enjoy the beach, and not just in summer, either. Or find a club to join, like learning Martial Arts because there, you will meet new people and find friendship, so maybe even finding yourself.

Find yourself in the beauty in the countryside at dawn. Or find a faith to discover yourself in, and finding meaning. Or discover your inner emotions brought out by listening to like, Rachmaninov's second piano concerto.

Am I crazy? Probably. But I am a foreigner in a strange country, some 1,500 miles from my homeland Greece, so culturally diffent here in UK that it's almost frightening. But, I am trying hard into finding myself, too. I do fencing, (as in swordmanship, or - swordwomanship) - took it up in Kalymnos where I was born. And it was at this club that I found friends. As well as forcing my will on my opponent. And beating him.

In some small way I found myself in that rapier-sharp, relentless sport. And in another way, I joined here and found a couple of good friends. You could do worse - you could give up and stop trying. But somehow, I don't think you'll do that.


Poppi Georgina

I think it comes down to being honest with yourself. In the words of Socrates, know thyself. If you aren't true to yourself, you will never be truly happy. You will only be living according to someone else's idea of happiness. In order to be happy and fulfilled, you must first know what makes you happy and fulfilled.

Modern day society is full of sheep, I wouldn't go as far and say it's an issue of not knowing who you are, people are just too caught up trying to be someone they're not, in many cases for popularity.

I can definitely see a lot of truth in that.

You can't help your friends discover who they are, but one thing that does help people is having confidence in their abilities and you can help them with that. You can compliment them and even though this wont make then realise who they are, it may help them to appreciate themselves more and want to be what comes naturally to them, whatever that may be, instead of trying to be a clone.

I was like that, i just seemed to do what everyone else was doing, listened to the same music, same opinions etc.

I just waited and then i found who i was.

i dont know if itll help, but Buddhism really teaches you to live in the momemnt, and thats sure helped me.
=]
when ur aware of your every move,then you'll know what and who,and where u really are in life

i don't think it should be about finding yourself i think its more about creating yourself. you know what i mean?