My friend has a HUGE problem and won't listen to me

    • My friend has a HUGE problem and won't listen to me

      A few weeks ago, my friend started dating this guy who had been flirting with her for a long time beforehand. Two days later, he IMed her and told her he shouldn't have asked her out, because he already had a girlfriend. Not long after, he told her that while he was dating her, he had another girlfriend and four or five other girls who he made out with regularly.
      Not long after that, she was suckered into an "open relationship" with another guy. He insisted that he would tell her as soon as he started a serious relationship with someone and as soon as it ended. That was going on for about a week when we found out that another girl was planning on breaking up with him. After that we discovered that he has a MINIMUM of seven "open relationships" right now, as well as a girlfriend he never told any of them about.
      So here's the problem. She is still friends with the first guy, even though he still tries to flirt with her and get her to make out with him quite a lot. I've seen him flirting with other girls too. She still hasn't talked to the second guy about what he's been doing. He has no idea she knows, and she's hoping that if she talks to him about it he'll dump all of the other girls for her, because she thinks that he really likes her. I'm trying to get her to distance herself from both of them, because I know that they're going to just keep using her, but she won't listen to me. We now get into arguments every time the issue is brought up, and I'm worried about her. I don't know what to do!
    • Re: My friend has a HUGE problem and won't listen to me

      Ohhhh gosh.. that is just a big web of problems..

      If she doesn't listen to you, let her do as she pleases, and learn her lesson y herself..

      She probably hasn't experienced this before, so you gotta let her.

      And when it's all done and she learned her lesson, tell her "I told you so!"
    • Re: My friend has a HUGE problem and won't listen to me

      Show her this thread maybe? It might show her that you do care for her and then she can trust you. However at the same time it might just be something like you going behind her back.

      Honestly I agree with you. She needs to distance her self from those guys because she is getting played. The one with several open relationships is a playa and is just feeding girls the right words and what they want to here. He doesn't want a real relationship he just wants sex and is working the angles to see who he can get with. Its rough but more then likely the truth... (And I think you know this) She should also make conversations to a minimum with the one who all ready has a girl friend. I mean its fine if she is just friends with both. But if she sees that he is cheating and trying to make out with her when he has a girl what makes her think that he won't do that to her if they where in a relationship.

      Since its hard to get her to listen to you and she thinks that she is in love or whatever with the guy with the open relationships. Why don't you try and play cupid? It's just an idea but maybe you should try and find her a guy that is nice and won't mess around with her. Introduce them and just see if they hit off and what happens. Because if that guy is in an open relationship then doesn't that mean she can see other guys? All I can think of is fight fire with fire since she won't listen to you.
    • Re: My friend has a HUGE problem and won't listen to me

      If I had a HUGE problem, I wouldn't listen:wink:


      In all seriousness, beat some sense into her!.
      Thats just riduclous.
      If shes that good a friend then she should listen, if not tell her to jog the fork on.
      I’ve come to realize,
      with every little glimpse you fade.
      I was told that I could fly.
      When least expected - cloud connected.
    • Re: My friend has a HUGE problem and won't listen to me

      I completely understand how difficult it can be when you can see your friend suffering and making some really silly mistakes but, unfortunately, there's only so much you can do! You're being an excellent friend by wanting to talk to her about this and by trying to make her see sense, but that's all you can actually do. Try and make her see sense. At the end of the day, she's still your friend and having this cause arguments and disrupt your friendship is something I'm sure you both dislike. Perhaps you could try bringing it up one last time; explain to her your feelings about the situation and what you feel she should do. But also try explaining that you don't want it coming between your friendship, y'know? Try and make her see sense. Tell her you're worried and you don't want to see her hurt! Have a wee heart-to-heart, what do you think?

      Thing is, however, this is her life and she has to make her own mistakes. I really do understand that it must be difficult for you to see your friend getting hurt and played like this but she, clearly, won't listen to anyone else at the moment. And hey, we all experience that sometimes, don't we? When we're so caught up in our emotions that nothing anyone else says really matters.

      She has to see this through her way. You can try guiding her and helping her but ultimitely these are her decisions and her mistakes. She'll probably need you when (or if) things don't work out and being there for her is something she'll probably really appreciate. Give your advice, by all means, but also realise that it's all you actually can do, in a sense.
    • Re: My friend has a HUGE problem and won't listen to me

      Hey there,

      That's definitely a difficult situation to be in. If she's not going to listen to you, you have to stand back and let her be. Even if she's one of your friends and you probably know what's best for her, she has to find a solution to her own problems. You have to let her experience this situation for her own self and let her make her own mistakes. She's going to go through heartbreak sooner or later and if she honestly thinks that this guy likes her and will leave all his girlfriends for her, she has another thing coming. She really needs to learn the hard way, even if the hard way means having her heart broken.
      [CENTER]You bitches are beautiful. :hugs:[/CENTER]
    • Re: My friend has a HUGE problem and won't listen to me

      hm. yeah. I've got a friend like that.
      I think that if you ignore it, to an extent, she will figure it out on her own. I've seen how some people just shrug off the advice of a friend, only because they think that what they are doing is OK, when really it isn't. People have to learn sometime.
      [SIZE=4]I May Look Happy, But Honestly Dear, The Only Way I'll Really Smile Is If You Cut Me Ear To Ear...[/SIZE]
    • Re: My friend has a HUGE problem and won't listen to me

      more drama - i just found out that apparantly the first guy (who has a new girlfriend) kissed my friend today after her lunch period. he then skipped his class and was sitting at my table during my lunch period flirting with another girl he was going out with a few years ago. my friend says shes "testing him" and is going to try to talk to his girlfriend (who she doesnt know) about it. she still shares a locker with him. i know that you guys are right, that i should let her figure things out herself, but i'm scared for her. this guy is the most sexual guy i've ever met, and she refuses to distance herself from him. i'm trying to stay out of it, but i can't. every time we talk about it, we end up arguing.