Dig my smile apart.

    • Dig my smile apart.

      These past few days have made me realize that I hate life more than ever. I have good reasons to hate it as well. My best friend is dying of cancer. And that breaks me down in so many pieces because he has been there for the longest time when he shouldn't be. Because I'm no good. But he sees past that.

      I started my cutting again. Eight days away from 80. Which makes me feel like I failed so many people and myself. I don't regret it that much. But I stopped for one person and now I know I let him down even though he doesn't know about it yet. Half of me knows I have to tell him sooner or later. Later, will be best right now.

      I came to the understanding that not all people will walk away from me. I'm in love with my best friend and she loves me too. Which is what I want. I haven't talked to Ty in a while because his best friend, my best friend, is dying of cancer like I stated earlier. And he won't leave his side. Which I don't want him to either. Link needs him more than me. And I see that. Slowly I'm losing him but I'm okay with it. Because deep down I knew it would happen.

      People confuse me. One minute they like you and the next they want to kill you with a sharp object. I know not everyone will like you because I don't like half of the stupid fucking humans that roam this earth. But like I said, if you don't like me then don't post a million threads about me or IM me just to let me know that you don't. I won't do that because it's fucking childish.
      Also, I'm an attention whore. I like any kind of attention. Too bad.

      Anyway, this has a point.
      Tell me that life is worth living.

    • Re: Dig my smile apart.

      Life is always worth living.

      If you die, you'll never find out what the future holds.
      Trust me on this.
      The future always holds something worth living for.

      People have problems.
      If everyone with problems just broke down and fucking killed themselves, this planet would be empty.

      Don't let things get you down, just keep moving forward.
      If you let he bad things slow you down, eventually you'll stop.

      Look at me..No matter what I go through, I refuse to give up.
      If I run into a wall, I break the mother fucker down and keep going.
      That's how I have always been.

      Just don't kill yourself..

      I'm not going to say "think of the people it'll hurt, blah blah blah".
      It should be obvious by now.

      My future is being torn apart..My entire way of life is being destroyed.. I'm not going to give in.

      You shouldn't give in either.
      Don't cut yourself either..That shit leaves scars.

      Why the fuck would you punish yourself by cutting yourself and killing yourself anyway?
      It's not your fault.
      You're not the one to blame for what is happening.

      Don't worry so much about shit like that.
      I know it hurts when things like this happen..
      By killing yourself, it only causes more pain for the ones around you..

      Besides..You're one of the only people on this damn forum I can get along with.
      If you kill yourself, then I'm only left with that weird fucker who PMed me!

    • Re: Dig my smile apart.

      I understand that completey.
      But sometimes it's like why see what it holds if it's only going to be filled with bullshit.

      I like the way you think.
      But with me it's like once I knock down one wall I see another wall after the one I broke down.

      I cut because that's the only thing I do right.
      I know it leaves scars. I have over 50 on my legs.

      I'm trying not to worry. Because worrying leaves you nowhere.

      I get along with you great. Because you tell it like it is.
      Most people are too pussy to do that.
      Haha. Weird fucker.

    • Re: Dig my smile apart.

      You can never truly break down all of the walls..
      Each wall represents a problem, and problems are endless.

      Some walls are thicker than others, and it takes more time and more work to break them.

      It will take time to break down this wall you've come to.

      Or...You could look for a door to the other side of the wall.