Hi, everyone. This is my first post, so I'm not quite sure what to do, so I'll just give you the facts:
I'm 12 years old. I'm from England. I've always been a really good student, my dad tells me I should go to university...maybe even Cambridge.
I'm also disabled. I have calabrel palsy (spelling?) on my lower limbs, but I go to a normal school, and there's nothing wrong with my mind at all.
I do loads of extracurriculur activities: I'm a librarian, a student councillor, and I'm doing a Creative Arts Bronze Award.
I'm not bragging, but I'm also mature. Really mature. My friends tell me I'm 12 going on 40. That's the problem.
You see, I feel isolated with my friends. Like I belong on a different planet...or maybe they do.
I feel horribly humiliated when they are hyperactive (I'm never hyperactive), and when they get in trouble, I cover for them, because they can't do it themselves.
I'm a twin, and I love my twin sister like mad but she's always got into trouble, whereas I don't. I feel like she thinks my parents only care about me, because they look after me when I'm doing my stretching to keep my muscles flexible or praise me on good grades.
I want to talk about Shakespeare with my friends. I want them to know that I want to talk about literature, and be appreciated. I've tried telling them but the conversation always goes something like this:
Friend: Well, I'm sorry we can't all be smart.
Me: But you're so...childish! (not the best way of putting it)
Friend: We are CHILDREN!
Me: Yes, but why won't you try to be mature?
Other Friend: Look, Beth, that's not always a good thing...you're 12 going on 120.
Friend: Just because...
I feel like I'm suffocating because, not meaning to be horrible to them, but they just seem so inane. I look after them, like I'm their mother. But I can't be. I feel as though I have spent so long trying to protect and look after them, that no-one looks after me anymore.
I have never, ever told anyone this. You see, that's another problem: my sister is The Bad One. She lies. She fights back with our parents. I'm the Good Girl. I'm not meant to do anything wrong. I just paste a huge smile over everything and hope it will all be okay. Because I have to keep pretending, for my friends and family.
Do you want to know what the worst part is?
I'd give up all of it: my grades, my extracurriculur activities, the praise from my teachers, the GCSE work, just to be a normal girl.
Can someone help me or at least say they know how I feel?
I'm 12 years old. I'm from England. I've always been a really good student, my dad tells me I should go to university...maybe even Cambridge.
I'm also disabled. I have calabrel palsy (spelling?) on my lower limbs, but I go to a normal school, and there's nothing wrong with my mind at all.
I do loads of extracurriculur activities: I'm a librarian, a student councillor, and I'm doing a Creative Arts Bronze Award.
I'm not bragging, but I'm also mature. Really mature. My friends tell me I'm 12 going on 40. That's the problem.
You see, I feel isolated with my friends. Like I belong on a different planet...or maybe they do.
I feel horribly humiliated when they are hyperactive (I'm never hyperactive), and when they get in trouble, I cover for them, because they can't do it themselves.
I'm a twin, and I love my twin sister like mad but she's always got into trouble, whereas I don't. I feel like she thinks my parents only care about me, because they look after me when I'm doing my stretching to keep my muscles flexible or praise me on good grades.
I want to talk about Shakespeare with my friends. I want them to know that I want to talk about literature, and be appreciated. I've tried telling them but the conversation always goes something like this:
Friend: Well, I'm sorry we can't all be smart.
Me: But you're so...childish! (not the best way of putting it)
Friend: We are CHILDREN!
Me: Yes, but why won't you try to be mature?
Other Friend: Look, Beth, that's not always a good thing...you're 12 going on 120.
Friend: Just because...
I feel like I'm suffocating because, not meaning to be horrible to them, but they just seem so inane. I look after them, like I'm their mother. But I can't be. I feel as though I have spent so long trying to protect and look after them, that no-one looks after me anymore.
I have never, ever told anyone this. You see, that's another problem: my sister is The Bad One. She lies. She fights back with our parents. I'm the Good Girl. I'm not meant to do anything wrong. I just paste a huge smile over everything and hope it will all be okay. Because I have to keep pretending, for my friends and family.
Do you want to know what the worst part is?
I'd give up all of it: my grades, my extracurriculur activities, the praise from my teachers, the GCSE work, just to be a normal girl.
Can someone help me or at least say they know how I feel?