cooter wrote:

i agree with you i feel no sympathy for those who engage in self harm or suicide, why should I

I suspect both you two haven't delved too far into the illness we know as depression. No one can understand it unless you go through it yourself, it's not something you choose to have and having no sympathy for people who have the illness is very narrow minded.

I've gone through it but I haven't sympathy for people who constantly isolate themselves and reject advice, get upset about the smallest things, etc.

If you have a home to live in then you should be grateful. Compare your life to other people's, and see that your life isn't as bad as you make it out to be. That's what we're trying to say.

i think i may have misunderstood.

mike wasn't telling people with clinical depression to get a grip, but rather the quasi-depressed who whine about their daily juvenile problems.

is this correct? if so, mike, i apologize. my bad

I agree, people should try their hardest to get help and not isolate themselves and reject advise.



Once again, depression is a illness (not a mood you catch onto for a while) and comparing your life to other people's lives isn't going to cure it, the best bet is to seek professional help.

Wow, I'd just like to thank everyone for the fucking aneurysm I have received in reading all the post after my original.

Unfortunately, none of you have any sort of literary analysis skill, so let me "break it down for you".



According to Mikey here, in order to be "logically" depressed, you have to have your entire family die. One, two, or even your genetic conjoined twin just isn't enough. If you do get depressed by this, then clearly you're not normal and you will be shunned by society.





Apparently, anyone who gets depressed is simply choosing to be depressed. Depression disorder? Nonsense! Need to see a therapist? Low levels of serotonin, need prozac? To hell with that, go read a read a book!

Quote:
Originally Posted by janegsd014
Then tell me other ways to cope.
Besides a theripst.




So here's what we know so far.

Anyone who goes into depression isn't normal.

They choose to go into depression themselves as a "life choice".

Depression can simply be cured by reading a book, or playing a sport.


So for all you people here saying that Mike is just talking about "people who think being depressed is cool" or whatever shit you people make up, you're wrong.

You see, after I saw all these silly comments about people agreeing with Mike, it got me thinking maybe there's something I missed. So I took it upon myself to skim through about 15 pages worth of threads in the depression, self-harm, and suicide section. The way you people talk about how somebody "wants to kill themself over getting the wrong present" or some shit, I mean you'd think it was a common occurrence. I'll be damned though, because you know, I couldn't find even one thread like that.

There was one thing... that did jump out to me though. It got me thinking all you people just might be right. Maybe there are attention seekers on this site.



Yet, with just the slightest motivation he decides to spill his beans and give us his life story.

Quote:
Originally Posted by janegsd014
dude, my parents are divorced, 2 of my cousins died within a week of each other, & i had to move 3,000 miles away, but then i moved back. So for you is that enough reasons?



I wanted to add that if you thought I was exaggerating about you needing all your family members to die, to be "logically" depressed, Mike clears it all up for us here.

So Mike, you'd love to think you're life sucks just so much more than everyone elses. So much so, that you'd go out of your fore-mentioned way to compare yourself with the first person who posted their problems? Then try and bash them, insisting you're so much stronger than them. Who's really attention seeking here Mike? Oh, and I don't see any dead family members.

Alright, so now that we've cleared up that Mike is a hypocritcal attention seeking whore, let me pose a question to you all.

Why does the section where all these threads go list as "depression, self-harm, and suicide", instead of just "depression, and suicide"?

That's very simple you see, because they're two different things.

Don't beleive me? Here, I pulled this right out of wikipedia.

"Self-injury (SI), self-harm (SH) or deliberate self-harm (DSH) is deliberate infliction of tissue damage or alteration to oneself without suicidal intent."

Why do people do this you ask? Somatization. It's the conversion of stress/anxiety to physical symptons such as stomach pain, empty feeling, headaches, or tension. Oh, and it doesn't just go away by reading a book.

So why do people cut themselves because of this, hm? Because, when your brain gets a signal that you've been physically injured it releases beta endorphins which act as a natural pain killer, much like morphine.

Not everyone is the same you know, people respond to stress in different ways. Depression is an illness. Guess what? Illness' can still affect you regardless of social, financial, or locational status. Comparing yourself to a homeless person isn't going to make it all better. It's like a mother telling a kid to eat the rest of his dinner because there's children starving in Africa. Your logic is childish.

If you do read my post, and still agree with mike, then your an idiot. Obviously.

Go walk off into a sunset or something.

I read your whole post, and I will address it all. Please read MY whole post. Just hear me out.

First of all, I understand to a certain degree where you are coming from. It's "cool" to be depressed these days. That is unfortunate, because then the people that really need help don't get it.

There is a difference between depression, and just "man this sucks" because you got a bad grade, or got dumped. Same situation, different reaction. Mainly caused by a chemical imbalance.

Unfortunately, a lot of people don't know this. I think I'll make a thread, as a guide to people like you. No that's not derogatory in any way. I'm just saying that, like most of the world, you are uninformed.

The difference between "average joe" and person in depression:


Most people can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and get through hard times, because they know it will be over eventually. But when you have depression, basically, there is something on the other side of the tunnel, blocking out the "light" (the end of the problem). So they cant see an end anywhere in the future... Isn't that depressing?

So little problems become big ones. 90% of the actual problem is in the person's head. Imagined for the most part. Not that it's the persons fault; most of it's due to a chemical imbalance. Most people with a real life threatening problem, are not immediately affected by it.. It waits till later in life to haunt them.

Not that it CAN'T immediately affect them, it just tends not to. Depends on the person.

As for why they would inflict damage to there bodies, I don't know how this helps.. I haven't tried... I'm more of the "blood makes me sick let's get it over with" type of person. Not that suicide is on my to-do list. I currently only second guess myself, and drive myself mad, causing mental damage if anything.

Suicide however, is often the only means to an end, that the person in depression see's. It's predictable.. They can see the outcome, at least as far as they are concerned. And these people aren't thinking rationally.

Issue1: "Reading these complaints are not a cry for help, but a cry for attention."

This is unfortunately, to some extent true. No one will change what selfish jerks put to get attention and pity. But not all of the people posting "I need help" threads fall into this category. Some just need to get it out... They need someone to talk to. And if they can't talk to someone they live with, then who else? We are here, as some kind of support group. Join, and S U P P O R T. Or leave. Thanks.

Issue2:"It is because you think these negative thoughts, and you believe that physical pain will take away emotional pain."

I dealt with this in my explanation of the difference between average joe, and person in depression.

Issue3: "If you want to kill yourself, you should have no problem. I'm pretty sure any of you can drive your car off a bridge, jump off a building, eat a bottle of pills."

I'm pretty DAMN sure know this type of talk helps no one. You DON'T know what is going on in each of these person's HEADS. I guarantee you that. So, woop-dee-doo, you have problems to. I'm glad you are one of the people that can deal with them. This forum is for people who CAN'T.

I can't help the people who abuse the forum to get attention. But the last thing we need is someone else abusing it.

Issue4:"Some of these stories and threads are almost as ridicules as...

'I'm going to kill myself. I asked my parents for a Nintendo Wii and they gave me a Nintendo DS.'"

Yes, we know, and we aren't stupid. Go to there threads and tell them. Don't generalize, and say that they are all fake. We know when someone needs help. Because most all of us who give advice deal with the same or similar depression, if not problems.

Issue5: "Unless someone can give me a REAL reason to kill themselves, my perspective will change."

I can guarantee that in most cases, the whole story is NOT told, for one reason or other. You don't know. So don't judge. Also, as I said before, it is not always in the reason, as it is in the chemicals. Small things seem big sometimes. Big things seem small as well.. until you hit them.. Then you feel the pain, and since it is more than you expected, it causes shock. An Iceberg for example.




I think our job as peers (internet or otherwise) is to show them the light, by removing the object (by talking them through their feelings and thoughts) or by showing them some light of our own... By showing love, and kindness.

Your's truly,

Andrew (The nice guy who doesn't mind finishing last. :rolleyes:)

Thank you. You brought up another point that I forgot to mention.. What about the people that have friends.. People they hang out with, and that's part of their life.. But they don't want to risk rejection from their "friends" by talking about family problems. Everyone needs an outlet. Some people's outlet is other people. That's what we are here for. Now, those "friends" are most likely shallow jerks, but it's all they have.

I can see where you're coming from but one thing that you didn't talk about is that depression isn't always just for attention. For some people it's a medical thing, and they just don't know what to do. One thing common in depressed people is inability to make decisions.... which is a part of some of the threads.

But you really do have a point about how a lot people seem to do things like this for attention. just remember, it's not ALL of them.

""Reading these complaints are not a cry for help, but a cry for attention""

if its a cry for attention why do i hide my scars you narrow minded idiot...!

Cutting yourself acheives and proves nothing
unless you kill yourself

if you really did want to kill yourself youd fucking do it instead of being a homo and cutting yourself

hes right on most cases. some people who cut themselves are doing it as a cry for attention. but there are other people who do it because they dont have another way to deal with the pain in their life and dont want to talk about whats happened in the past to make them feel this way. i started out cutting for the adrenaline rush and attention i got from my class. but when i stopped raving (bi polar type 2) and got depressed again i found that it helped with my emotional pain. then i wanted to cover the scars and just be alone. i thought no one would understand. but you just have to find that one person you can trust and talk to. once you get past hiding in your own world you can finaly move on and get help.

thats like saying why did hitler kill so many jews or why are there gangs, why do people do drugs why blah blah blah. sometimes an answer is just not good enough.

there are tons of reasons why people cut themselves. and yes attention is one of them. but its not the only one. im sure most of the people know that CUTTING IS STUPID. yet, they dont know what to do so they cut themselves. everyone does stupid things, everyone makes mistakes. whats worse, having sex without a condom and end up getting pregnant then not able to support the child or cutitng yourself. or how about doing weed and drinking just to get away from life or cutting yourself. people have their own ways of dealing with problems and stress. just to yell at them for they way they handle it..is bad. you just cant. but overall, cutting is bad because it is very dangerous and people who do it need to go see a therapist. so they can finally have someone to talk to about it.

*guilty as charge*

Why Do People Cut Themselves?

It can be hard to understand why people cut themselves on purpose. Cutting is a way some people try to cope with the pain of strong emotions, intense pressure, or upsetting relationship problems. They may be dealing with feelings that seem too difficult to bear, or bad situations they think can't change.
Some people cut because they feel desperate for relief from bad feelings. People who cut may not know better ways to get relief from emotional pain or pressure. Some people cut to express strong feelings of rage, sorrow, rejection, desperation, longing, or emptiness.
There are other ways to cope with difficulties, even big problems and terrible emotional pain. The help of a mental health professional might be needed for major life troubles or overwhelming emotions. For other tough situations or strong emotions, it can help put things in perspective to talk problems over with parents, other adults, or friends. Getting plenty of exercise can also help put problems in perspective and help balance emotions.
But people who cut may not have developed ways to cope. Or their coping skills may be overpowered by emotions that are too intense. When emotions don't get expressed in a healthy way, tension can build up — sometimes to a point where it seems almost unbearable. Cutting may be an attempt to relieve that extreme tension. For some, it seems like a way of feeling in control.
The urge to cut might be triggered by strong feelings the person can't express — such as anger, hurt, shame, frustration, or alienation. People who cut sometimes say they feel they don't fit in or that no one understands them. A person might cut because of losing someone close or to escape a sense of emptiness. Cutting might seem like the only way to find relief or express personal pain over relationships or rejection.
People who cut or self-injure sometimes have other mental health problems that contribute to their emotional tension. Cutting is sometimes (but not always) associated with depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, obsessive thinking, or compulsive behaviors. It can also be a sign of mental health problems that cause people to have trouble controlling their impulses or to take unnecessary risks. Some people who cut themselves have problems with drug or alcohol abuse.
Some people who cut have had a traumatic experience, such as living through abuse, violence, or a disaster. Self-injury may feel like a way of "waking up" from a sense of numbness after a traumatic experience. Or it may be a way of reinflicting the pain they went through, expressing anger over it, or trying to get control of it.

Mikey you are an ignorant douchebag and I don't feel like reiterating the points that ghosthunter and other people made I just want to agree with them. Some people have mental problems and by that I mean physical brain problems. You can't control your emotions you stupid prick. Honestly. No one can just choose to be happy it is hard for some people. You have a point and that point I can sum up with yes 'emo' (just a stupid trend) kids are usually just seeking attention but even they sometimes have real problems. you're proportions between emo and actually depressed are way off.

Basically you can't say anything bcuz you don't know where they are coming from. You have said that you have had a shitty life and you've said you have a great life. Whichever it is you can't try to command a whole group of people to grow some balls(possibly one of the stupidest things I've ever heard) just bcuz you think you have some and that 'growing balls' (not literally I'm not retarded) is the solution to depression.

You have only lived one life and that is your own and NOBODY elses. You just can't force your generic 'advice' more like orders onto people who aren't you. Why would you be so passionate about this anyway? I could have typed a whole essay about your ignorance and I definitely left something out here but I will end this with a please, just Shut The Fuck Up. Next time you have a thoght just punch yourself in the head instead of Fucking RANTING about it. Please.

Alright, I just want to firstly state I'm honestly on neither side of this argument, but after reading the OP's post I have to throw my two cents into this ring.


Ok, let's start off with what is refered to as "being emo/emotional/suicidal". I'm not a fan of this, I've never done, I never will. But I've never faced pressures or the baggage other people receive in their lives. I can relate to most of their problems, but I don't hurt myself to "release the pain" but at the same time anyone who posts "OMG KIL URSELVS" is in the wrong too because you have no idea how much stress can be placed onto your back in an environment where you may not be able to freely express yourself.

You can claim, "I'm under the same microscope as any average cutter", but the reality is you only believe you are. You do not live in THEIR social setting or surrounding, you do not live in their household, you do not go to their school, you do not know the people who live amongst them and you certainly do not know them as people. To throw this around is like saying from the sidelines of the Super Bowl after playing on a high school team for a year or two, "I could have even made that pass!" No, you really probably couldn't have. You've never faced the amount of pressure a game of that magnitude holds and you certainly have never faced as large of obstacles as those players are.

I understand the need to find a way to cope with problems, but injuring yourself is just no the answer to it. Counselling and parental assistance is what is needed. Not some random User on an absurd account screaming, "YEAH BOII GO KIL URSELVES!!!1! UR NAWT WURTH IT1!" Levels of maturity of some people hold astounds me completely.

Hmm... You are right i can't say anything else:P
But is something inside that make people do all theese threads like theese that you said maybe not the orriginal problem but something else... hmm something like the attention as you said:P
So nice opinion Keep goung with your ideas ;D