I want to have a baby!

hearttbeats · Jan 7th 2009, 8:26pm

hearttbeats wrote:

I did, but I had to step back and realize that babies, children cost alot of money. Hospital bills, Diapers, food, daycare It's very common that you wanted kids with the person you love but you have to really think everything that involves with a kid, Also Kids are very time consuming. Daycare. My Psychologist pays over she told me 15,000 a month for daycare or something like that. Daycare and Schooling are going to be the money suckers as well as everything else. I not trying to sound preachy lol It's just realistic.

secretstash411 Re: I want to have a baby!
15,000 a month for a daycare... is unrealistic unless they are learning to fly a space shuttle... lets be real here lol.

I said something like that, I was guessimating what she said.

xDimples · Jan 7th 2009, 8:27pm

Me and my boyfriend have discussed and decided that we would love nothing more then to have children together.

Just not right now obviously, I'm only 17.

The right time is when we become financially stable.

Bella · Jan 7th 2009, 8:29pm

Why the heck do you post here if you take everyone answers in a bad way and bite back.
This is a teen forum, and you are not a teen, neither do you treat anyone here with respect. If you wan't a baby, go ahead.. have one because i'm sure no ones reply is going to stop you or delay that. Don't make a post when you can't accept feedback without getting all hiked up and rude.

Arsonist · Jan 7th 2009, 8:33pm

SugarLips wrote:

Why the heck do you post here if you take everyone answers in a bad way and bite back.
This is a teen forum, and you are not a teen, neither do you treat anyone here with respect. If you wan't a baby, go ahead.. have one because i'm sure no ones reply is going to stop you or delay that. Don't make a post when you can't accept feedback without getting all hiked up and rude.

If I would have been treated with some respect, I would have given respect. So what if I am not a teen right now? I was 2 months ago. I was not asking anyone to stop or delay my having a child. I am not getting hiked up, and I only get rude, when someone is rude. I in no way asked anyone to judge me, or give advice on my particular situation. I asked a question, and gave my reasoning for doing so. If you would have read the original post, you would know that.

Bella · Jan 7th 2009, 8:46pm

I was, in the bigining in favour of you, but once I read the other pages you've only been rude to peoples opinions.
Uhm , no.. I was chosen because I give good advice but I only do that to someone who wants the advice which you don't because people have already tried to give you some and you've blown it off.
:mad::(

onyxeyes · Jan 7th 2009, 9:02pm

Arsonist wrote:

I am not starting any drama.

I am 20, as I said in another thread. My husband is 19. We have been together for two years on March 17th. We have been married for 1 year on March 15th. I am a paramedic. My husband is an EMT and will be going through school to be a firefighter within the next year, and as soon as that is over, he will be starting school to be a paramedic. I am in school to get my BA in EMS. We make enough, that really isn't your business, I have already told you enough.

You and several other members were partaking in drama.

I don't mean to seem rude, but I really think you and your husband are rushing your relationship quite a bit, which is never good on a relationship. Having children puts a lot of strain on all relationships, even those involving people who have been together for 10+ years, let alone those that are in a relationship that is still fairly new. I really think a pregnancy and parenting forum that has older demographics would be much more appropriate for you than a teen forum. That way you can read posts from those who already have children and they would be able to help you see having children in a much more realistic light. Again, I don't mean to come across as rude, but from your posts you don't seem to have the mental and emotional maturity to have children. You may be financially stable in the future, but as a college student you wouldn't be at this stage.

Arsonist wrote:

If I would have been treated with some respect, I would have given respect. So what if I am not a teen right now? I was 2 months ago. I was not asking anyone to stop or delay my having a child. I am not getting hiked up, and I only get rude, when someone is rude. I in no way asked anyone to judge me, or give advice on my particular situation. I asked a question, and gave my reasoning for doing so. If you would have read the original post, you would know that.

I asked everyone in this thread to stop with the dramatics. It's possible to have a discussion on this subject without being rude and dramatic. Infractions shall now be given out.

The fact of the matter is, when people gave their opinions you started acting in a hostile manner. You didn't give respect either.

Arsonist · Jan 7th 2009, 10:02pm

Our relationship is far from rushed. You here are making assumptions. We were best friends, practically dating for a year before we officially started dating. You may see it as rushing, but take it from the person in the relationship, it is not. I know kids will put a strain, but I know our relationship is more than strong enough to handle it. The time that a couple has been together has very little to do with the strength of the relationship. I don't consider our relationship to be new. You may, but we do not. I wasn't asking whether or not I should get pregnant or what not, I was merely asking if members planned on having kids in the future, although I do not remember my exact wording. The way that I see children in my furture is realistic. I am extremely mature, maturity cannot be judged by words on a screen. I have always been extremely mature for my age, and that has not change. College will play no roll on our finances as we are both getting free college, and my husband is being paid to go.

Giggity · Jan 7th 2009, 10:06pm

I would want a kid/kids when the time is right. Not now...

25+ atleast.

Kase · Jan 8th 2009, 12:00am

In my opinion, if you're not yet financially stable, supporting a child will be tough. If you think you can handle it, go right ahead. Whether or not you'll be proved wrong remains to be seen. Our task here, were you looking for an outsider's take on things, is simply to make you aware of all the consequences. The previous posters have already done this justice, so I won't elaborate. I sincerely hope your husband is just as ready for a baby.

However, I'm sure no one here is impressed with your behavior. You came on a teen forum, announced your motives, and automatically expect others to agree with you? Everyone has simply listed their ideas. Disagreeing is absolutely fine, but please do not disrespect them. As for the record, anyone who claims to be on a higher level than someone else and to being "extremely mature" just comes off as defensive and arrogant.

I won't be replying on this thread again for the sake of preventing a fight.

Bella · Jan 8th 2009, 12:31am

Will you plan on being pregnant or have the baby while your in College ( Or university, whichever you plan on.. )

Arsonist · Jan 8th 2009, 1:22pm

Kase wrote:

In my opinion, if you're not yet financially stable, supporting a child will be tough. If you think you can handle it, go right ahead. Whether or not you'll be proved wrong remains to be seen. Our task here, were you looking for an outsider's take on things, is simply to make you aware of all the consequences. The previous posters have already done this justice, so I won't elaborate. I sincerely hope your husband is just as ready for a baby.

However, I'm sure no one here is impressed with your behavior. You came on a teen forum, announced your motives, and automatically expect others to agree with you? Everyone has simply listed their ideas. Disagreeing is absolutely fine, but please do not disrespect them. As for the record, anyone who claims to be on a higher level than someone else and to being "extremely mature" just comes off as defensive and arrogant.

I won't be replying on this thread again for the sake of preventing a fight.

I announced no motives. I simply asked if people planned on having children with the person they are currently in a relationship with, that is all. THIS THREAD WAS NOT ACTUALLY ABOUT MY WANTING A CHILD!
I will however reply to what you have said.
We wouldn't be thinking about having a child if we were not financially stable enough to handle it. There are going to be no conequences, and they never should have been brought up, because as I stated above, this was a simple question. If my husband did not want a child as much as I did, I wouldn't even be considering having them in the future. If anything he wants them more than I do.
I am none too impressed with anyone's behavior on this site. I never expected anyone to agree with me, because there was nothing to agree or disagree about in my question. I don't really care if I come off as arrogant, I am mature.

SugarLips wrote:

Will you plan on being pregnant or have the baby while your in College ( Or university, whichever you plan on.. )

No, I do not plan on being pregnant in college, nor do I plan to have a child while I am in college.

Pipkin · Jan 8th 2009, 2:09pm

Arsonist wrote:

I have wanted one for sometime, and the time for me to start trying is drawing near. I cannot wait until I get pregnant! It seems like it is so far away, but it won't be too much longer. I wouldn't want to have children with anyone other than the man I am currently with.

Does anyone here consider having a child with the person they are currently in a relationship with?

Poppi and I already have an 8 year old boy but, he's a Downs child and has special needs. We are his legal guardians.

To get pregant I've no doubt will be a joyful experience for you. But having a child will stop all your socialising, your freedom, your everything. Money that you and your partner would have liked to have been spent, say , on a iPod will have to go towards Baby's Needs. Consider the cost of a push-chair/pram and disposable nappies, the insomnia you'll both get when baby starts teething - do you want all this at such a young age?

I get broody, too. But on passing 18 a couple of days ago I'll be wanting to enjoy my youth before starting having children of my own. Our little George is handful enough in himself. Poppi and I couldn't cope with a baby, and we strongy suggest you talk it over with your boyfriend/partner first. And then make an informed decision.

Arsonist · Jan 9th 2009, 1:23pm

Pipkin wrote:

Poppi and I already have an 8 year old boy but, he's a Downs child and has special needs. We are his legal guardians.

To get pregant I've no doubt will be a joyful experience for you. But having a child will stop all your socialising, your freedom, your everything. Money that you and your partner would have liked to have been spent, say , on a iPod will have to go towards Baby's Needs. Consider the cost of a push-chair/pram and disposable nappies, the insomnia you'll both get when baby starts teething - do you want all this at such a young age?

I get broody, too. But on passing 18 a couple of days ago I'll be wanting to enjoy my youth before starting having children of my own. Our little George is handful enough in himself. Poppi and I couldn't cope with a baby, and we strongy suggest you talk it over with your boyfriend/partner first. And then make an informed decision.

Yea, I personally would have an abortion if I found out that I was pregnant with a disabled child, but that is just me. I don't believe in brining a child with a poor quality of life into the world. (Down's syndrome, I probably would have, but anything like CP, definetly not)
I however completely disagree with many of your statements. Having a child doesn' not stop all socialization, and take away freedom. Perhaps a special needs child does, but a normal healthy baby does not. I really don't understand why people try to say it does. I have so many friends with children living on half the income that I have, and are still out living normal happy, social lives. I have thought about all of the costs, and I know that I will be tired, but that is part of having a child. Why would I not want this experience in my early 20s compared to later on in life? My income will allow me to have everything this child needs, as well as the other things that I want. Chances are the other things that I want will be for the baby, so that kills two bird with one stone.
When my husband and I do make the decision to start trying for kids, it will be a very much informed decision. We are already very well informed. We have been talking about kids since we got engaged, and not just about how much we want them, but how we will managed them. My husband wants kids more than I do.

Ijsbakje · Jan 9th 2009, 2:49pm

I'd like to have 3 kids, and I'd like to have my first when I'm 23+. I'm a guy btw.

xKatiex · Jan 9th 2009, 5:58pm

Sorry to sound rude or whatever, but you seem to think everything is going to be so easy and happy... When everyone thinks it will be and that they will be able to handle it really well and cope, but most cant.
You can't have a baby, and have a great social life. Nore can you have a good career, and actually bond with you baby.

And in my opinion, you were asking for people to comment on what you said about youself in the original post before the question... You bought it up, so people are going to comment on it. And after all, this is an advice forum too... You didn't really make it clear.

Arsonist · Jan 12th 2009, 8:54pm

xKatiex wrote:

Sorry to sound rude or whatever, but you seem to think everything is going to be so easy and happy... When everyone thinks it will be and that they will be able to handle it really well and cope, but most cant.
You can't have a baby, and have a great social life. Nore can you have a good career, and actually bond with you baby.

And in my opinion, you were asking for people to comment on what you said about youself in the original post before the question... You bought it up, so people are going to comment on it. And after all, this is an advice forum too... You didn't really make it clear.

I will be able to cope, I am in no way worried, because I know that everything is going to work out. I can very easily have a baby and a social life, and having a career has nothing to do with bonding with a baby. I will have my career, a great career, and a wonderful relationship with my child. My husband and I will easily be able to work our schedules so one of us is at home at all times, and we are both going to have the same days off.
I was in no way asking for any comments. I asked a simple question, and decided to fill it in a bit because I knew people would ask questions as to why I was asking, and I got that out of the way before they had a chance to ask. I made my intentions plenty clear.

SweetTemptations · Jan 13th 2009, 12:26am

If your still in school, and you know your going to have a child with this man eventually. Why don't you wait until you've finished and have a stable job. Having a child is far from easy!

I love children I'm in the ECE program right now, and i'm the same age as you but having a child is the farthest thing from my mind right now.

We don't care if you want to have a baby, its purely your decision were just giving you advice because you posted in this forum so stop arguing with every comment posted.

If you weren't asking for comments why would you post something when you've already made your desicion on the topic. lol people are here to give their advice and if you dont want it then don't ask for it.

I have nothing against you, I dont even know you, and I deffinetly don't have the time to waste arguing with you. Just take everything into consideration, and wait till your financially stable. Dont expect everything to be smooth sailing, there are advantages and disadvantages to having a child (especially at a young age)

Arsonist · Jan 13th 2009, 4:03pm

I'm not still in school. Eventually I will go back to college, but not anytime in the near future. Even if I did, all of my classes are available online. I have a stable job, and soon plan to change to an even more stable one. I know I am going to have children with my husband, and we are ready, there is no reason for us to wait.

Once again, I did not ask for advice. I was asking if you would have children with your current partner, and I told that I would have children with my husband so everyone would know my stand.

I am financially stable, and more than ready for a child.

hearttbeats · Jan 13th 2009, 4:09pm

Let me just add I know how you feel, I was with my boyfriend for a year, we've known each other for almost 6 - 7 years and we felt that we really wanted to have a baby. But as I said previously we had step back and realize that kids are alot of work and we both aren't making that much to support all three of us. I know baby fever sucks total balls. Plus were not seeing each other anymore. I'm going to tell you what to do, but think about spending a little more time with your husband :\

Arsonist · Jan 13th 2009, 4:24pm

I spend a lot of time with my husband as it is. That isn't a problem at all. If we aren't working, we are together. I have wanted children for years now. I know they are a lot of work, and it is work that I am willing to do and capable of doing. We make enough to raise a child, that isn't a problem at all.

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