When do you intend to start a family? Are you going to be married? Are you going to be engaged? Do you have a certain age that you want to start having kids?
Starting a family.
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I'd like to have kids either after, or before getting married. Not during engagment, because then you'll have to save for both a baby and a wedding.
Having kid's around 20-24 sounds good.
People will always talk about you
Might as well give them something to talk about -
I don't intend to start a family until I establish a career for myself
or I wake up one morning and realize that everyday is going to be the same after this one
I will get married by the catholic church. Thats how I'm feeling now idk about then.
I would want to have a baby before 27
also depends on how young wifey is
ANd if I can't get wifey and somehow end up gay in my future
I would adopt many children"Something to relieve the pressures of their everyday life, like having to tie their shoes. " -
I'm with Chris. I don't want to start a family until I have a stable career. Right now, it seems like I'm going to be in school until roughly 27 or so, as I want to get a PhD. That could change, depending on what happens in the future and whatnot. Therefore, I don't plan on marrying/having children until after I'm finished school and have a stable career. If I'm not in school for ten years (ish), I want to have a first child at twenty six or so. I'm in no rush, though. I want to make sure that I'm with the right person and everything.
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hmmm
Well after being with someone for at least 3 years? Depends may vary. And yes married
Who wants to have kids to take care of on wedding day and honeymoon =P.
Between 26-30 would be good. Enough time to live my life before I raise a family. -
When to start a family? Um ... well, I have no definite goal ... whenever things are stable enough and I know I can accommodate a child comfortably enough. I mean, it's best not to plan too far ahead for these sorts of things since there's always a chance that it might not work out. So right now I'm just focused on making it through school and establishing myself.
I do plan to be married by the time I have children. My boyfriend is a bit touchy on that subject (he was born out of wedlock) Though I do plan to totally skip the wedding and just elope.
And like I said before ... no definite plan on those kiddies so no certain age I want to have kids by. I'll 'play it by ear'[CENTER]6/19/06
愛してる～
私の恋人
[/CENTER] -
captain_kurenai wrote:
When to start a family? Um ... well, I have no definite goal ... whenever things are stable enough and I know I can accommodate a child comfortably enough. I mean, it's best not to plan too far ahead for these sorts of things since there's always a chance that it might not work out. So right now I'm just focused on making it through school and establishing myself.
I do plan to be married by the time I have children. My boyfriend is a bit touchy on that subject (he was born out of wedlock) Though I do plan to totally skip the wedding and just elope.
And like I said before ... no definite plan on those kiddies so no certain age I want to have kids by. I'll 'play it by ear'
Yeah that. :] -
graduate, move away with my boyf, move back, get married, settle in new house, have kids.... all by the age of 30 haha! that's the plan anyway
[CENTER][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIZE="7"]Never underestimate the power a kiss possesses [/SIZE][/COLOR][/CENTER] -
I don't want to get married, I don't believe in business contracts defining the love of two people.
I want to have a child after I meet somebody I know I can spend the rest of my life with in monogamy and have a stable future. Then when that child is 10 or so I'll adopt another one.You can't put your arm around a memory.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] -
shelb angs wrote:
I don't want to get married, I don't believe in business contracts defining the love of two people.
.
EXACTLY!
Fuck I am so glad there are actually girls who agree with me on this one.
Personally, I think marriage is stupid. Yes...stupid. If I am going to stay with someone, then I will do it because I want to...not because a peace of paper tells me to. If it has to do something about asses....then common-law....same effect as marriage........anyway won't get into that...whole other topic.
I will only have kids when I know I can support my family........but I wish I could like....fast forward to when he/she/they are like 2-3 years old. I get easily annoyed with the crying when they don't get something that they want >.>
But who knows...views change. I will seeThe King of Mind-Fuck -
DeamonD wrote:
EXACTLY!
Fuck I am so glad there are actually girls who agree with me on this one.
Personally, I think marriage is stupid. Yes...stupid. If I am going to stay with someone, then I will do it because I want to...not because a peace of paper tells me to. If it has to do something about asses....then common-law....same effect as marriage........anyway won't get into that...whole other topic.
I will only have kids when I know I can support my family........but I wish I could like....fast forward to when he/she/they are like 2-3 years old. I get easily annoyed with the crying when they don't get something that they want >.>
But who knows...views change. I will see
I like marriage because of the financial implications (Tax benefits anyone? :3)[CENTER]6/19/06
愛してる～
私の恋人
[/CENTER] -
DeamonD wrote:
EXACTLY!
Fuck I am so glad there are actually girls who agree with me on this one.
Personally, I think marriage is stupid. Yes...stupid. If I am going to stay with someone, then I will do it because I want to...not because a peace of paper tells me to. If it has to do something about asses....then common-law....same effect as marriage........anyway won't get into that...whole other topic.
I will only have kids when I know I can support my family........but I wish I could like....fast forward to when he/she/they are like 2-3 years old. I get easily annoyed with the crying when they don't get something that they want >.>
But who knows...views change. I will see
I really do have to laugh at this. If someone is going to stay with another they are going to do it reguardless of whether or not they have a piece of paper telling them they are legally a couple. They are still going to stay because they want to if they are married. No one is forced to stay with another because of marriage. If someone does not want to be with another they will leave, whether or not there is a piece of paper. Marriage is no different, or any less likely to succeed than a relationship between two committed individuals. -
Arsonist wrote:
I really do have to laugh at this. If someone is going to stay with another they are going to do it reguardless of whether or not they have a piece of paper telling them they are legally a couple. They are still going to stay because they want to if they are married. No one is forced to stay with another because of marriage. If someone does not want to be with another they will leave, whether or not there is a piece of paper. Marriage is no different, or any less likely to succeed than a relationship between two committed individuals.
I fail to see how this is funny...but ok.
When two people are married they feel that they are pressured into staying together. Why? because as they get divorced
a) Divorce is extreemmeelllyyy expensive JUST in lawyer fees. SO some people literally can't afford to get divorced and stay together hating each other ever so more.
b) When two people are married all the assets acquired after the date of marriage are under both their names. ie: House, cars, mortgage, etc. Basically they are bound by law and one can not simply leave and leave another person to pay for it all which then would leave to more fees, divison of assets, finding new place to live, somehow getting rid of that mortage, getting another moprtgage and etc...etc....etc....etc...
c) Consider basic human psychology. People want what they can't have. Once both people are married, they don't have to "work" to keep the other partner. They know that they already "have" that person so it is not really a challange anymore. They don't have to stay together because they wan to...the paper is doing it for them.
It was proved that people change after marriage. It is a FACT. If you want me to find sources for you I will just so you can make sure that I am not just making this up.
Couples get a boost of happiness during the tie of the marriage which then suddenly drops once they are married. This also causes psychological "skepticism", if you will, in both partners which they can call loss of the "spark"...but they will never admit that it is their fault and it is always the other person's fault which leads to fight etc. Of course not EVERYONE is unhappy.....there are only what....more than 45% of couples that got the divorce in 2002?....pretty small number right..almost half. And that does not include the couples which are unhappy and STILL stay married. Fun.
So....I still fail to see how this is funny....The King of Mind-Fuck -
DeamonD wrote:
I fail to see how this is funny...but ok.
When two people are married they feel that they are pressured into staying together. Why? because as they get divorced
a) Divorce is extreemmeelllyyy expensive JUST in lawyer fees. SO some people literally can't afford to get divorced and stay together hating each other ever so more.
b) When two people are married all the assets acquired after the date of marriage are under both their names. ie: House, cars, mortgage, etc. Basically they are bound by law and one can not simply leave and leave another person to pay for it all which then would leave to more fees, divison of assets, finding new place to live, somehow getting rid of that mortage, getting another moprtgage and etc...etc....etc....etc...
c) Consider basic human psychology. People want what they can't have. Once both people are married, they don't have to "work" to keep the other partner. They know that they already "have" that person so it is not really a challange anymore. They don't have to stay together because they wan to...the paper is doing it for them.
It was proved that people change after marriage. It is a FACT. If you want me to find sources for you I will just so you can make sure that I am not just making this up.
Couples get a boost of happiness during the tie of the marriage which then suddenly drops once they are married. This also causes psychological "skepticism", if you will, in both partners which they can call loss of the "spark"...but they will never admit that it is their fault and it is always the other person's fault which leads to fight etc. Of course not EVERYONE is unhappy.....there are only what....more than 45% of couples that got the divorce in 2002?....pretty small number right..almost half. And that does not include the couples which are unhappy and STILL stay married. Fun.
So....I still fail to see how this is funny....
It is extremely funny. People are not going to stay together if they do not want to be together, whether or not they are married. If they are unhappy the divorce is worth the money and is typically not all that expensive, it simply upsets their way of life, and the lose a doubled income, but they also no longer have to pay for another person.
That is not true. It is entirely possible for someone to buy a house/car etc without the other spouses name going on it. I have a friend who bought a house after he married and it is in his name only and she will have no rights to it if they should ever get divorced. I bought a car, that doesn't mean that my husband will have any right to it. It is mine.
If you think that you don't have to work at a relationship after marriage you are very naive. I love Mike, I have him, and I very much still want him and no one else and that isn't going to change. That is entirely untrue, and I wouldn't expect you to understand because you have never been there. You still want to work to be with that person, you are still working at the relationship. That little piece of paper goes into a drawer somewhere and really does not make a big change in the relationship. Sure you may move in together if you haven't already, you may get a joint checking account etc, but that by no means that you are some how in a different relationship.
I completely disagree. Not everyone changes after marriage, and no "sourses" no matter how credible are going to make me think otherwise. People are always going to gradually change, and that change is going to happen whether or not you are married.
Happiness by no means drops after marriage. Couples are still very happy, atleast the ones who would have worked out without getting married are. If they are not happy after marriage, they wouldn't have been happy without being married. Once again, if there is a lack of spark after marriage is would have been lost even if they had not been married. Those statistic were rather funny. I have read up on them, and the divorce rate is much lower than 45%. There happened to be a difference of 45% one year, but they did not figure in the existing marriages. They took the number of marriages, which happen to be 50% than the amount of divorces, but that does not mean that there is a 50% divorce rate.
I still think it is extremely funny. -
I feel that the best time for me to start a family is when I'm the most successful. I want to have a good career, a good partner, and everything is settled and stable. So, around my mid-30s or so is when I want to get married.[CENTER]You bitches are beautiful. :hugs:[/CENTER]
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Arsonist wrote:
It is extremely funny. People are not going to stay together if they do not want to be together, whether or not they are married. If they are unhappy the divorce is worth the money and is typically not all that expensive, it simply upsets their way of life, and the lose a doubled income, but they also no longer have to pay for another person.
That is not true. It is entirely possible for someone to buy a house/car etc without the other spouses name going on it. I have a friend who bought a house after he married and it is in his name only and she will have no rights to it if they should ever get divorced. I bought a car, that doesn't mean that my husband will have any right to it. It is mine.
If you think that you don't have to work at a relationship after marriage you are very naive. I love Mike, I have him, and I very much still want him and no one else and that isn't going to change. That is entirely untrue, and I wouldn't expect you to understand because you have never been there. You still want to work to be with that person, you are still working at the relationship. That little piece of paper goes into a drawer somewhere and really does not make a big change in the relationship. Sure you may move in together if you haven't already, you may get a joint checking account etc, but that by no means that you are some how in a different relationship.
I completely disagree. Not everyone changes after marriage, and no "sourses" no matter how credible are going to make me think otherwise. People are always going to gradually change, and that change is going to happen whether or not you are married.
Happiness by no means drops after marriage. Couples are still very happy, atleast the ones who would have worked out without getting married are. If they are not happy after marriage, they wouldn't have been happy without being married. Once again, if there is a lack of spark after marriage is would have been lost even if they had not been married. Those statistic were rather funny. I have read up on them, and the divorce rate is much lower than 45%. There happened to be a difference of 45% one year, but they did not figure in the existing marriages. They took the number of marriages, which happen to be 50% than the amount of divorces, but that does not mean that there is a 50% divorce rate.
I still think it is extremely funny.
......You can't possibly be serious >.>
After reading all of that it is clear that you know nothing of marriage nor divorce and everything you have said is clearly based purely on your assumptions. That is the exact reason (and I, by no means, am trying to insult you) why I will not waste my time debating with you other than bring out a few points showing that you do not know what your are talking about:
1) A divorce is not that expensive? Average divorce is $27,000. And that is a pure divorce. If you are fighting for custody of your children, the divorce will run you $50,000 + 15,000 just to do the papers. If the divorce gets hung up in court, it will run $100,000. And THAT.....is per PERSON. Also, all that is for a family with an average income...we are not talking millions/year + couple of thousand dollars an hour lawyer. If you still think that that is inexpensive, then I congratulate you on being born into a wealthy family. But I also hope that you will consider the fact that most people are not made out of money.
2) You are calling me naive by claiming that I have said that people do not have to work at all at their relationship after married. Quote me please. I said that people psychologically, subconsciously and fundamentally do that. Psychology 101. You are also, it appears, not aware of that force.
3) You are also not aware how the devision of the assets works. First of all, once two people marry, their asses are joined. It does not matter if it is in your name, or his name. The assets are both of your PERIOD. The ONLY way to escape that, is have an affidavit signed. Even at that point, you basically leave the marriage what you came with. And even that does not protect you 100% as the affidavit can be fought and a claim on the assets accumulated after the date of marriage can be split two ways. That is because in court an argument of "Joined acquisition", so to speak, can hold. Meaning: you got the asset with the help of the other person. But no......I can definitely see the appeal in: Husband-"Hey honey, I need you to sign this paper saying that when we divorce you will not take my stuff =D" Wife-"Oh of course honey! I can see that you trust me! What a jolly good marriage we are gonna have"
4) Can you send me the source of the statistics lower than 40% / year ( And I am talking US. Not India where it is 1.1%....where husbands kill their wifes and etc )
5) People do not change after marriage? Seriously? You must have read a lot of material th.....oh wait...right...from the points you made...nvm. I guess that is why people decide to divorce for not reason then. Oh well.
Poeple change once they are married and that is a fact. Obviously not everyone, but clearly more than half.
How can you call me naive when you do not know the simplest, absolute simplest facts about this. I mean ok, obviously you have this...safe little bubble around you which you live it.....but then don't step out of it and "laugh" at an person who actually knows what he is talking about or that he challenges your believes. I do not mind debating...I enjoy it. Helps me think, makes my arguments much stronger and just a good past-time. But at least come back with something usefull....not "Well I think that this is how it is and everything it super happy and pink.....so that is how it must be" argument. You are trying to challenge facts with just...made up ideas. When you are trying to approach an argument like that.....well you are no better than religion then at trying to defend it's self. (I hope I did not strike a nerve there though...cause I do not want to turn this into a religion debate thread)The King of Mind-Fuck -
DeamonD wrote:
......You can't possibly be serious >.>
After reading all of that it is clear that you know nothing of marriage nor divorce and everything you have said is clearly based purely on your assumptions. That is the exact reason (and I, by no means, am trying to insult you) why I will not waste my time debating with you other than bring out a few points showing that you do not know what your are talking about:
I can ask the same of you. You cannot possibly be serious.
I think it is even more hilarious that you think that I don't know about marriage and divorce. That really did make me laugh extremely hard. It's not based on assumption in the least, rather experience. You can try and say I don't know what I am talking about all I want, but I am the one with the experience in the marriage subject. Bring what you want, it's not going to make a difference or change the fact that you are pulling statistics that mean nothing off of the internet, and I have experience in the subject.
1) A divorce is not that expensive? Average divorce is $27,000. And that is a pure divorce. If you are fighting for custody of your children, the divorce will run you $50,000 + 15,000 just to do the papers. If the divorce gets hung up in court, it will run $100,000. And THAT.....is per PERSON. Also, all that is for a family with an average income...we are not talking millions/year + couple of thousand dollars an hour lawyer. If you still think that that is inexpensive, then I congratulate you on being born into a wealthy family. But I also hope that you will consider the fact that most people are not made out of money.
Wrong. The cost of the divorce itself when handled maturely can cost as little as $300. You have to read into the word average. Do you realize those average in EVERYONE, even the celebrities and the richest people in the world that have multi-billion dollar divorces? I am guessing you didn't realize that. Not at all. My aunt just went through a divorce and including custody of the children it ran less than a grand, for both of them.
2) You are calling me naive by claiming that I have said that people do not have to work at all at their relationship after married. Quote me please. I said that people psychologically, subconsciously and fundamentally do that. Psychology 101. You are also, it appears, not aware of that force.
You stated that after marriage couples no longer work at what they have because it's all about have what you don't want. I know you are completely naive in believing that a piece of paper can take an otherwise wonderful relationship and turn it upside down. As I have said before. If they are going to last they will last with or without a piece of paper. I have taken Psychology, and I still very much disagree with you. That is not at all what it taught.
3) You are also not aware how the devision of the assets works. First of all, once two people marry, their asses are joined. It does not matter if it is in your name, or his name. The assets are both of your PERIOD. The ONLY way to escape that, is have an affidavit signed. Even at that point, you basically leave the marriage what you came with. And even that does not protect you 100% as the affidavit can be fought and a claim on the assets accumulated after the date of marriage can be split two ways. That is because in court an argument of "Joined acquisition", so to speak, can hold. Meaning: you got the asset with the help of the other person. But no......I can definitely see the appeal in: Husband-"Hey honey, I need you to sign this paper saying that when we divorce you will not take my stuff =D" Wife-"Oh of course honey! I can see that you trust me! What a jolly good marriage we are gonna have"
I am very aware of how the division of assets works. Their assets are only joined if they choose to join them. Seperate bank accounts, seperate names on vehicles etc remain their own. This is directly out of my family law class. They other spouse can try to make a claim to it, but 90% of the time they will lose. No, not period. Whether or not you are married you still maintain your own individual assets, especially if you have a prenup. Having a prenup by no means says that you do not trust your spouse. It is protecting yourself. If the other person it not in it for money it will not make a bit of a difference for them. Anyone with a significant amount of money would be stupid not to sign a prenup.
4) Can you send me the source of the statistics lower than 40% / year ( And I am talking US. Not India where it is 1.1%....where husbands kill their wifes and etc )
I am not talking about the per/year %. I am talking about the actually percentage of marriages that end in divorce. No where near 50% of marriages end in divorce.
5) People do not change after marriage? Seriously? You must have read a lot of material th.....oh wait...right...from the points you made...nvm. I guess that is why people decide to divorce for not reason then. Oh well.
Poeple change once they are married and that is a fact. Obviously not everyone, but clearly more than half.
I know this first hand. This is not reading something and believing what it fed to me. I know this through experience. Very little changes after marriage for a couple that would have otherwise been together for a long period of time. Marriage really does not change much if anything. Atleast not in the first year. Like I said, since you obviously don't read, people are going to change whether or not they are married. The little piece of paper is not going to stimulate some massive change that will no longer make you want to be with someone. No where near half, forget more than half. Those people would have changed whether or not they were married.
How can you call me naive when you do not know the simplest, absolute simplest facts about this. I mean ok, obviously you have this...safe little bubble around you which you live it.....but then don't step out of it and "laugh" at an person who actually knows what he is talking about or that he challenges your believes. I do not mind debating...I enjoy it. Helps me think, makes my arguments much stronger and just a good past-time. But at least come back with something usefull....not "Well I think that this is how it is and everything it super happy and pink.....so that is how it must be" argument. You are trying to challenge facts with just...made up ideas. When you are trying to approach an argument like that.....well you are no better than religion then at trying to defend it's self. (I hope I did not strike a nerve there though...cause I do not want to turn this into a religion debate thread)
I can call you naive because you are naive. You rely on force fed "statistics", many of which are bullshit.
You think you know what you are talking about when in fact you do not. I do not live in a bubble, far from it. I am very much in the real world, in a very much real world relationship. You are not challanging anything as far as I am concerned. Just showing naivity. I don't have to think this, I know this. You are trying to challange experience with opinions, and bitter human generated "facts". I think it is funny that someone who is not married, thinks they know more about the dynamics of marriage than I do. -
I think it is even more hilarious that you think that I don't know about marriage and divorce. That really did make me laugh extremely hard. It's not based on assumption in the least, rather experience. You can try and say I don't know what I am talking about all I want, but I am the one with the experience in the marriage subject. Bring what you want, it's not going to make a difference or change the fact that you are pulling statistics that mean nothing off of the internet, and I have experience in the subject.
You have experience? Where is it? Through your aunt?
Wrong. The cost of the divorce itself when handled maturely can cost as little as $300. You have to read into the word average. Do you realize those average in EVERYONE, even the celebrities and the richest people in the world that have multi-billion dollar divorces? I am guessing you didn't realize that. Not at all. My aunt just went through a divorce and including custody of the children it ran less than a grand, for both of them.
1) So you are basing everything you are saying on one case? Genius. If only everything in life were that simple.
2) Do you intentionally miss things? Is that why everything is so simple for you? I SPECIFICALLY said that that is for an AVERAGE family. And NOT including million dollars/year salaries.
You stated that after marriage couples no longer work at what they have because it's all about have what you don't want. I know you are completely naive in believing that a piece of paper can take an otherwise wonderful relationship and turn it upside down. As I have said before. If they are going to last they will last with or without a piece of paper. I have taken Psychology, and I still very much disagree with you. That is not at all what it taught.
Prove it. How much of the psychology have you actually taken? High-school? Well geez, slap THAT onto your wall and start a practice.
I am very aware of how the division of assets works. Their assets are only joined if they choose to join them. Seperate bank accounts, seperate names on vehicles etc remain their own. This is directly out of my family law class. They other spouse can try to make a claim to it, but 90% of the time they will lose. No, not period. Whether or not you are married you still maintain your own individual assets, especially if you have a prenup. Having a prenup by no means says that you do not trust your spouse. It is protecting yourself. If the other person it not in it for money it will not make a bit of a difference for them. Anyone with a significant amount of money would be stupid not to sign a prenup.
Family law class?....again...highschool? And why would anyone be stupid not to sign it? I mean, we are talking about a perfect idea of a marriage here are we not? What happened to: People do not change after marriage, everything is lovey-dovey and if people want to split, they just do because it is extremely simple?
I am not talking about the per/year %. I am talking about the actually percentage of marriages that end in divorce. No where near 50% of marriages end in divorce.
You still have no ptovided me with a source...
Or is that a "self made" statistic based on that aunt of yours?
I know this first hand. This is not reading something and believing what it fed to me. I know this through experience. Very little changes after marriage for a couple that would have otherwise been together for a long period of time. Marriage really does not change much if anything. Atleast not in the first year. Like I said, since you obviously don't read, people are going to change whether or not they are married. The little piece of paper is not going to stimulate some massive change that will no longer make you want to be with someone. No where near half, forget more than half. Those people would have changed whether or not they were married.
No no...you are absoulutely right. Everything written is jsut for shits and giggles. How can I be so stupid and believe the books. You have shined the light of wisdom upon me and for that I thank you.
"This is not reading something...."....and "Like I said, since you obviously do not read"...er...like to contradict your self much? Or do you usually just....fire as many arguments as you can at once with total disregard for whether they make sence or not, hence trying to make them seem legit? I can't tell.
You yet again have proved to me the existance of your little bubble in which you live in. Now I am pretty much forced to assume that you live in a town with a population of 12.
I can call you naive because you are naive. You rely on force fed "statistics", many of which are bullshit.
You think you know what you are talking about when in fact you do not. I do not live in a bubble, far from it. I am very much in the real world, in a very much real world relationship. You are not challanging anything as far as I am concerned. Just showing naivity. I don't have to think this, I know this. You are trying to challange experience with opinions, and bitter human generated "facts".
I rely on force fed "statistics".........I honestly, have NO idea how you survived in those law classes of yours and psychology classes. Every 20 minutes must have been hell for you when a teacher said something along the lines of "On average..". You were probably ready to shoot him in the head at that point. How are he tell you what average is an force feed you those things......bastard.
I think it is funny that someone who is not married, thinks they know more about the dynamics of marriage than I do.
Actually.....you are right. It is pretty god damn hilarious.....and quiet sad too.The King of Mind-Fuck -
Oh dear, arguments going on here
I say I would like to start a family when I meet the correct girl who I have been with a long time, a few years prehaps.
Mid Twenties would be ideal for me :). Or maybe a bit older.
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