okay so here it is

    • okay so here it is

      this kinda has to do with friends and family but mostly about me I just didn't want to categorize it as depression/self hurt/suicide cause I'm definitely not to that point at all

      but anyway. I'm just so alone I guess. I mean I guess it's a teenager thing but I just feel like crap all the time. I don't like being home because my parents are like undercover substance abusers like they think I don't know like I don't know my mother has a drinking problem like I don't know my dad smokes pot. and besides that I'm 16 years old an I have to share a room with my 8 year old sister and my 17 year old brother is like the friggen golden boy even though he does drugs parties and drinks all the time but I guess it would be pretty hypocritical of my parents to get mad at him for it. but they act like I do all that and that every little thing I do will end the world. it's ridiculous I once didn't do the litter box whn I was like 14 and I got grounded for a month and that same summer my brother got caught smoking and he didn't even get grounded he just got a 'serious' talkig to and they made him promise to quit. even though he still smokes to this day

      and I only have a few good friends I have trust issues I think and only one of those friends I feel like I can trust with my life pretty much but he's a total jerk to me sometimes he just plays too much and ends up hurting my feelings and I tell him and he just tells me I'm a baby but maybe I am idk. I just don't have that many friends to begin with. and last time I had a boyfriend was eighth grade it's a real confidence booster and it's not like I'm picky it's that no guy even like seems remotely interested. and I know that guys don't like the mopey girl in the corner so I am mostly happy at school I mean it's not like I'm clinically depressed so I am capable of being happy justsometimes I think about my life and all this and it just gets me sad you know. idk what happened to me in middle school I was really social and boys were interested and boys were interested and I continued that in part of highschool but it all juststarted to slow down for some reason. justeveryone changed and I had to find new friends and I just felt alone. I just don't want to feel alone on this I want to know if imnot the only one cause u know I'm not I just feel like I am. I just wanna know if it gets better :/
    • Re: okay so here it is

      Of course it does :)
      First of all, you are better because you did not give into the drugs and the alcohol.
      So use this time to guide your parents and your brother....if not, then just observe them and learn so you do not become them.

      You will have a chance to move out....college perhaps. Then you will make tons of new friends and start dating.....I guess it is just a bad time in your life...but thats not really a bad thing. Hard times make us stronger and we learn a great deal about what is right and what is wrong...So take this time to do just that...learn. Not to say anything bad about your parents of course.....to each his own I guess.

      Imagine how great it will feel once you are on your own and do not have to be around the negative. Look forward to that.

      "The night is darkest right before the dawn" :P
      The King of Mind-Fuck
    • Re: okay so here it is

      I think you are doing a great job because you havent given into the drugs. There is still plenty of time to make friends and date guys. Just gotta keep your self esteem built up and dont let life get you down.
      :dontpoke-1: <---Me on my Bad days...

      :smash:The Blue Guy equals Chuck Norris. The Green One is Alice Cullen. -CNFAC BABY!
    • Re: okay so here it is

      Anton and Brittany are right. It's good that you're above the influence. The fact that your parents and brother both do drugs/drink, yet you don't is great.

      I think your parents should let you have your own room, but if your house isn't big enough for everyone to get their own room, I would understand their decision. It's better to have two girls in the same room instead of a guy and a girl.

      Things in your life will get better. It just takes some time. WHen you're old enough, you can move out of your house, which is great if you want to get away from the drugs. As for boys, I'm sure you just have to give it time. You seem like a great person, so I don't think it would take long before I guy asks you out. =)

      Stay positive. =)
      ~James
      Need help or just want to talk? PM me. :)
      -------------------------------------------------------
      "It's easy to be nice to people you like. But being nice to people you hate, that's a skill. Do it."
    • Re: okay so here it is

      Hey, i'm new to this thing so if i sound odd sorry? =)

      Your not alone! I promise you that i feel like that pretty much all the time, and yeah people have changed at my school i understand, its unfair and u have to make new friends and its hard Honestly if your "so called" friend is horrible to you, hes not worth the effort you dont deserve to be treated like that. try moving schools, or hanging with other people. if not try and occupy yourself during lunch breaks so u dont feel left out, and if people arnt nice to you? then they will never find out just how much a-nice-person you are =)

      I understand how you feel when your with your family " feeling unwanted" or always the blame for things, I think your better then that and your parents know it, they may be struggling with problems and you seem the closet person to attack ( always pointing out things u may have forgotten to do). Remember you are better then alcohol, and drugs, and they end up making you feel worse in the long run. Start reading or something, or chat to online people to get your mind off everything thats been going on, because it will pass, and you will be on to bigger and beter things.

      I hope thats helped =)
      Bec