Cancer

    • Cancer

      Yeah..so... my bf was diagnosed with cancer recently and now my parents (dad's side) are acting like i've totally gone off the deep end. I kept my cell phone downstairs (which is against the rules) while he was in the hospital, and i wanted to go with him to get his hair shaved because it was falling out and it was important for me to be there with him, but my parents say that that's something too intimate for someone my age to be doing. They say that i'm losing myself to this boy and that i shouldn't change because of all that's happening... but i don't think i am!

      Is it losing yourself if you genuinely love someone? I haven't done anything wrong, but it seems like I can't do anything right. What's wrong with me?

    • Re: Cancer

      I agree with "deliberate",i think u r a very nice person becz u r exeptin ur bf as the tisuation he is in,most of lovers leave each other in these situations but u didnt just accept it..u wanted to stay with him and that's a thing u should be proud abt it..and that means u really luv him,that's why u shouldnt listen 2 ...im not sayin ur parents..becz they know ur best..but if ur really sure abt ur thoughs and plans..do what ur heart tell u..in the end dat's ur bf..ur love..ur life..and make it clair 2 ur parents ( ur dad's side:p ),and take their advice but do what u want..which is right
      im touched:o :wink:
      <3<3<3<3

    • Re: Cancer

      I totally disagree with Alissar,especially in the part where she says that u should do wut ur heart tells u. Yes he was diagnosed with cancer , and yes u should be with him, but if ur parents disagree with that, wut u should do is try to convince them that u need to be with him and that he rlly needs u in this hard time..but if they're not convinced, I think that u should do wut they tell u cz they're ur parents for ever, but u're not sure that he'll be ur bf for ever, maybe he will get better, and maybe u'll break up, do u rlly want to ruin ur realtionship with ur parents to be with sumone whom u're not sure he'll be there forever?!
      wish u the best of luck!:o

    • Re: Cancer

      I'd side with both you and your parents. They are not emotionally involved giving them a different perspective on this.
      Try to reach some sort of middle ground with them. I'd try to convince your parents that you want to be a good friend to someone who is in need and when that need passes you can re-evaluate your relationship with him. Explain that now is no time for you to abandon him. Demonstrate to them that this is a decision based on maturity not emotions. (Don't cry!). You want to help a person in need. What can be wrong with that?
      ^
      ^
      ^
      Take it easy. There are exceptions to everything I say.

    • Re: Cancer

      I know what you're all saying, and I DO want to side with my parents and I do it all the time... I never see him at my dad's house, I can't talk to him for more than a specified amount every day... I mean, if it wasn't for my mom, I don't know how I would help him through this. And I try SO hard to be perfect for my dad and step-mom; I get perfect grades, I like to think I made good decisions, and most importantly, I would NEVER EVER do anything at all to jeapordize my virtue (to put it in a very old fashioned, tacky way..)

      I understand that my dad is trying to do everything right for me, and that I might not be with my boyfriend forever, but the thing is, not only is he my boyfriend...he is my friggin best friend. I can tell him anything and holy cow, he listens and he accepts me for who I am. Wouldn't you want to be there for you best friend too if they needed help? I know it's a twisted way of putting it, but aren't relationships about friendship and loyalty and trust, and a genuine yearning to take care of a person, to never want them to feel alone, or in pain, or anything like that?

      Wow...I got a little off topic...sorry

    • Re: Cancer

      When my fiance (Amber) was diagnosed with Cancer, originally when we were 8, but then again when we were 16, I broke down and cried, and all she did was literally hold me and tell me it was going to be alright. My point is that you have to deal with it almost in the same way he is, but dont over do it. If he is upset or scared, show him that you are too.

      You need to tell your parents that this is a very stressful time for him and he may need you. You need to tell them what you are feeling inside, no matter how hard this may be.

      Your boyfriend is in my prayers, I hope he gets better and I hope your parents realize what you are trying to do for him...and yourself.
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

      My beautiful daughter Megan


      My girl, and my baby girl

    • Re: Cancer

      There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, nor the fact that you're choosing to stand by his side. I could tell you the right thing, listen to your parents & respect what they say, about how it's 'too intimate'. But I would be doing the same exact thing that you are. Do what you feel is right. He's your boyfriend & standing by him & supporting him, in my opinion, is the best thing you can do. You're doing everything right by being with him during this time, not wrong.

    • Re: Cancer

      Woot! I'm NOT crazy! *faints from relief*

      Naw, seriously, I love my parents and I'm doing all I can to stay within their guidelines, and I think (more like pray) it's enough for my boyfriend. He keeps saying how amazed he is that I've stuck with him through all this...so...I would think that's a pretty good indicator...

      Thank you guys so much for all of your advice... (have I already said that?)... oh well... thanks again!