10 months.. forever?

    • 10 months.. forever?

      I've been going out with my boyfriend for 10 months now. I'm 17, he's 18. We met a year ago. Today I saw him but he seemed distant. I'm not sure if it was me, because I feel like I'm in a weird mood today. There were some times that I was completely happy and he seemed focused on me, but then other times he seemed annoyed by me. On the car ride home I was completely quiet. He didn't give me a goodbye kiss like he usually does. I'm wondering if it's just today, or is this a possible rut in our relationship? I've never been in a relationship this long. He told me it was forever around Christmas time but then yesterday I showed him a candy heart that said "marry me" on it. He said I had to lay off the marriage thing a little. I only see him on the weekends because he lives far away.
    • Re: 10 months.. forever?

      If it's only happened that one day, try not to be too quick to judge your relationship. Everyone has their off days. If it proceeds to be this way, you should talk to him about it. Don't jump to conclusions, it will only lead to misunderstandings and turn into a whole big mess. Relax and take things one day at a time. Like I said, if it continues you should definitely communicate with him about it.
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    • Re: 10 months.. forever?

      I've been with my boyfriend two years now, and we've been through stuff like this. We've been in real ruts, and we've had days when we're just off.

      It could be that he's picking up on your mood, believe it or not. When I'm in a weird mood, my boyfriend picks up on it 99% of the time and will be in one two (kinda like sympathy pains).

      It could be that he's just in a funky mood himself. He might not PMS, but that doesn't mean he can't be moody. My boyfriend is one of the moodiest guys you'll ever meet.

      It could also be that he's not happy with something in the relationship, like you two really are in a rut. Sometimes people in long-term relationships get scared. My boyfriend still gets terrified of the thought of marriage and kids (even though he does want it). If you think it's possible this is the case, try talking to him and see if he'll tell you anything.

      But, if this has only been happening one day, I wouldn't worry about it. Just try to show him how much you care, and he should get passed it.

      ~Maggot
      [size=3]Oh! why is phrensy called a curse?
      I deem the sense of misery worse:
      Come, Madness, come!
      [/size]
    • Re: 10 months.. forever?

      Marrige? You kids are fucking stupid.
      There's about a .00000009% chance that you'll both be together after school. Or if you do decide to get married, there's that same chance that you'll both be happy for the rest of your lives. Be realistic about this shit, you're not going to be together 'forever'. Kids are stupid and fuck up. Don't base the rest of your life around the way you fucked up as a teenager.
      You can't put your arm around a memory.
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    • Re: 10 months.. forever?

      shelb angs wrote:

      Marrige? You kids are fucking stupid.
      There's about a .00000009% chance that you'll both be together after school. Or if you do decide to get married, there's that same chance that you'll both be happy for the rest of your lives. Be realistic about this shit, you're not going to be together 'forever'. Kids are stupid and fuck up. Don't base the rest of your life around the way you fucked up as a teenager.
      Awww, is somebody bitter? It's hokay. I still love you, even if no one else does. :(

      ~Maggot
      [size=3]Oh! why is phrensy called a curse?
      I deem the sense of misery worse:
      Come, Madness, come!
      [/size]
    • Re: 10 months.. forever?

      Marrige? You kids are fucking stupid.
      There's about a .00000009% chance that you'll both be together after school. Or if you do decide to get married, there's that same chance that you'll both be happy for the rest of your lives. Be realistic about this shit, you're not going to be together 'forever'. Kids are stupid and fuck up. Don't base the rest of your life around the way you fucked up as a teenager.


      Boy.... who stepped on your shoes when you were a teenager.!?
      Seriously we're not all stupid
    • Re: 10 months.. forever?

      shelb angs wrote:

      Marrige? You kids are fucking stupid.
      There's about a .00000009% chance that you'll both be together after school. Or if you do decide to get married, there's that same chance that you'll both be happy for the rest of your lives. Be realistic about this shit, you're not going to be together 'forever'. Kids are stupid and fuck up. Don't base the rest of your life around the way you fucked up as a teenager.

      Wow, that was a completely irrelevant, bitter comment.

      OP, men go through periods where they're moody. see if he continues like this. Most likely, he's just aggravated about something, which could be hormones or something outside upsetting him, that's making him react to things that way. We all do that on occasion, and he may not have even noticed it.

      But if it's truly out of character for him and it's really, really bothering you, you could ask him about it, but try to do so in a way that you don't come off "OMG ARE YOU GONNA LEAVE ME?"ish as that may just give him something to lash out on if he's still in a funk. For example, approach it as, "Is something bothering you?" if you catch him reacting oddly to something. Again, keep in mind, he may not even notice he's doing it -- at least, that's how missing kissing you when he usually does came off to me, his mind might be elsewhere.
      She kept lookin' at her watch (Doesn't matter; had sex)
      But I cried the whole time (Doesn't matter; had sex)
      I think she might've been a racist (Doesn't matter; had sex)
      She put a bag on my head (Still counts)
    • Re: 10 months.. forever?

      Thanks! That really helped. Yeah I'm beginning to think i was overtired so his usual joking and picking on me made me mad for some reason. I'm gonna tell him what I felt like today.. not the omg are you gonna leave me thing. I'm not one of those OMGOMGOMG girls... but yeah I'll let you guys know how it turns out.
    • Re: 10 months.. forever?

      shelb angs wrote:

      Marrige? You kids are fucking stupid.
      There's about a .00000009% chance that you'll both be together after school. Or if you do decide to get married, there's that same chance that you'll both be happy for the rest of your lives. Be realistic about this shit, you're not going to be together 'forever'. Kids are stupid and fuck up. Don't base the rest of your life around the way you fucked up as a teenager.


      This made me lol a little because you can obviously tell this person is very bitter about something.

      Nothing wrong with wanting to think about marriage at 17/18. If he's the type of guy who doesn't mind but just doesn't want it mentioned a lot, I can see where is irritation might be. Even then, I wouldn't worry about it. Like everyone else said, men have their moods. My boyfriend has his moody days and I wonder if it's something I did, but the one way I can tell it wasn't me is if he's still hanging out with me. He may seem angry and irritated but if he's still willing to spend time with me, it's obviously not something I did.
      [CENTER]6/19/06

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    • Re: 10 months.. forever?

      Thanks everyone for your input!!! I talked to him last night and he said he was just stressed about a bunch of stuff. I was in a weird mood and so was he so it was a little weird. Today we're all better though. I haven't asked him what he meant by the marriage thing yet, but I'm fine to wait that out.
    • Re: 10 months.. forever?

      It only happened that one day, right?
      If so, than it's probably nothing to worry about it could've been like that because he realize you were in an "off" mood.

      If you're really worried; talk to him about it.
      He probably told you to lay off the marriage thing because maybe he's having second thoughts about marrying so young. That doesn't mean that you won't be together.

      It also depends if you were obessing over marrying him, like you talked about it all the time, brag about it. I think you should only do that after he asks you to marry him.

      But if you're also worried about that, just talk to him. He's your boyfriend; you should be able to talk to him about anything.


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    • Re: 10 months.. forever?

      unknownsunshine7 wrote:

      Thanks! Yeah I talked to him about it and of course I can tell him anything. The marriage thing is for later, no way am I ready to get married now.

      No problem; I think it'd be different if you guys were a little older and a little more sure of yourself when you showed him the "marry me" thing. Than maybe you would've gotten a different reaction.

      Of course; I'm not saying you guys won't be together. I'm just saying that guys tend to get scared off about things faster than girls do.
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    • Re: 10 months.. forever?

      Yeah I completely agree. The reason I showed him is because he told me that he told his mom that he wanted to marry me and we had talked about it before. I think he just doesnt want to get thinking too far ahead instead of just focusing on right now. Especially cuz he's been stressing about his future.
    • Re: 10 months.. forever?

      unknownsunshine7 wrote:

      Yeah I completely agree. The reason I showed him is because he told me that he told his mom that he wanted to marry me and we had talked about it before. I think he just doesnt want to get thinking too far ahead instead of just focusing on right now. Especially cuz he's been stressing about his future.
      Well, just be there for him and give him some time to sort things out.
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    • Re: 10 months.. forever?

      i find these kinda weird days are not a big deal in longer relationships, if you'd been dating only a few days or maybe a coupla weeks it could be a relationship ender but i dont think someone would end 10 months over a bad day. i hav bad days fairly often i guess, and my girlfriend gets crazy, not angry, just crazy about a week before her period every month. so yeh bad days are pretty common around then.

      oh and the marriage thing, the relationship isnt over untill you give up on it, you keep workin and keep going and you can make it that far, i know TONNES of people who have met in school and gotten married, especialy later on in school, however if your going to different uni's thats always a good relationship killer, however yet again i know 2 couples who are at different uni's and are still going, they only see each other during the holidays, it can be done. my girlfriend is movin 2 and a half hours away in the summer, i dont plan on ending it then, neither does she, i can drive down every weekend to come see her and during holidays she can stay with me. i only see her on the weekends atm anyway so it makes no odds to me, its just gona cost me quite a bit of petrol money. just dont listen to people sayin you cant make a relationship work because the second you beleive them is the second it ends.