I could go into a long story about this, but in the interests of keeping this as short as possible, I'll just cut to the chase.

I recently lost my virginity to my partner and it wasn't the most amazing experience. In fact, I'd go as far as to say it was actually one of the worst experiences of my life, so far.

Since then, I've been consistently upset. Surprisingly, it's not been over how terrible it went, but over something else. Many people will find this stupid, but this is something I felt strongly about. I never knew when I would first have sex, but the one thing I did know was that when the time came, I wanted me and my partner to lose our virginity together. However, this wasn't the case, as my partner had had sex with more people in their 17 years of life, than most do in their lifetimes.

I knew this before anything happened, but I went along with it anyway, thinking I'd be fine with it. However, I've really not been.

I've been to see a doctor and been given advice on how to sleep better, but nothing that can help me move on. I can burst into tears and suddenly stop again as if someone's flicked a switch within my head. I've also been steadily losing weight. Some days I think I'm getting better, only to find that the next day I'm back to how I was before, if not worse.

It's been suggested that maybe I just wasn't emotionally ready for a sexual relationship, which is entirely a possibility (and considering everything, quite likely).

I'm not really sure what I'm expecting by posting this, but it just might be nice to see if anyone can relate to how I'm feeling.