A Conflicted Freshman :S

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      rzzzz wrote:

      Well..
      I honestly don't believe that the ''romantic spark'' is created right away. Personally, I believe that the ''romantic spark'' just comes as the relationship progresses.


      true that. if you remember what i told you about that girl i met in 8th grade, remember how i said i never really had feelings for her before that? well, i started to get to know her a lot through lunch and then that romantic spark just developed. a romantic spark doesn't come instantly all the time, it takes some time.

      same as rzzzz and janine, i STILL advise you to know her more in a more intimate way. like talk about personal things (i mean not ALL the time, but try talking about something personal for a change then change it back to a normal convo). or ask her to go out with you and just the two of you (as friends. like ask her to go to the mall on a weekend, or watch a movie at your house). if you're going to hang out with her outside of school, make it sound casual. like say ''oh i'm bored. are you doing anything? wanna go to the mall or my house?'' something like that. i'm asking you to ask her out alone because if you bring her plus some of your friends i assure you that she won't be talking as much or she'll be a little bit intimidated 'cause she might be shy. if you guys have common friends but she's not close to those friends, she might be shy and not talk to you about things that she normally talks about.

      then when you guys are together flirt with her a bit. i mean, like make her swoon inside and make her realize that you care for her. and do not talk about other girls in front of her unless she asks. it could possibly be painful to your lover.

      ORRR. go watch pokemon or something. since you guys are just so in to it.lol. [no, i'm not making fun of you guys if that's what you're thinking.]

      so yes. go iceace, go to your lover.

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      foreverisalie wrote:

      true that. if you remember what i told you about that girl i met in 8th grade, remember how i said i never really had feelings for her before that? well, i started to get to know her a lot through lunch and then that romantic spark just developed. a romantic spark doesn't come instantly all the time, it takes some time.

      same as rzzzz and janine, i STILL advise you to know her more in a more intimate way. like talk about personal things (i mean not ALL the time, but try talking about something personal for a change then change it back to a normal convo). or ask her to go out with you and just the two of you (as friends. like ask her to go to the mall on a weekend, or watch a movie at your house). if you're going to hang out with her outside of school, make it sound casual. like say ''oh i'm bored. are you doing anything? wanna go to the mall or my house?'' something like that. i'm asking you to ask her out alone because if you bring her plus some of your friends i assure you that she won't be talking as much or she'll be a little bit intimidated 'cause she might be shy. if you guys have common friends but she's not close to those friends, she might be shy and not talk to you about things that she normally talks about.

      then when you guys are together flirt with her a bit. i mean, like make her swoon inside and make her realize that you care for her. and do not talk about other girls in front of her unless she asks. it could possibly be painful to your lover.

      ORRR. go watch pokemon or something. since you guys are just so in to it.lol. [no, i'm not making fun of you guys if that's what you're thinking.]



      Yup. See, spend more time.
      Okay, truth be told, I'm a Pokemon freak. In ep 21 of season 1, it's the mating season of Butterfree. So Ash's Butterfree sees this pink Butterfree, right? But the pink Butterfree doesn't like him back even after that courtship dance. Ash, Misty, and Brock go to Butterfree and advise him to get back up and do something so that the pink butterfree would like him back. Team Rocket comes and takes all of the Butterfree, but Ash's Butterfree saves them all and causes the apple of his eye to like him.

      So now, let's pretend that you are the pink butterfree and C is Ash's butterfree. In the episode, it took time for the pink butterfree to realize that she liked Ash's butterfree. Something had to be proved to it.
      Therefore, you should know her more in a deeper and more personal level alone. She will not open up to you in front of other people. Like what foreverisalie said

      Okay, in my highschool there was a Tim Hortons (this Canadian coffee shop thingo) that was like 30 minutes walking. In 9th grade this guy liked me right, but same as you I never had that romantic spark thing. Although I tried giving him a shot. I wanted to get to know him more in a personal level. Like talk about issues.
      One Friday he was like "Oh I'm bored.'' then I said same then he asked me if I wanted to walk with him to Tim Hortons after school. I said sure.
      Then we had coffee and it suddenly got to the conversation of his family, his ex and school. Those kinds of things. So talk to her more about those things; serious things. That talk was actually really nice since he could relate to me so much and I never knew. After that night I realized how open he was to me--to a girl he KNEW did not like him back. I liked him after that, actually. The only reason why we couldn't be was because he had to move to England in the middle of the semester. So I found someone else and he found someone else too.

      So yup. If you think this girl trusts you then try opening up some of your feelings to her.
      Ask her out to coffee or talk to her when you guys aren't so busy studying in the library. Or go to each other's houses or eat lunch with her.

      You can't tell for sure unless you guys REALLY know each other.
      and remember what I said on your first post?
      The ones who like you for you are always worth it, so give them a try.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by janineperillo16 ().

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      omg
      I just re-watched that episode last week!!
      :' )
      Poor Ash... *sniff

      After a bit of reflection I think I'll just let all this simmer...
      Like I don't REALLy need a gf and I think it'd be best to treat all of my non-guy friends the same and just see what happens.
      Avoid making any bold decisions that I may regret 3 years down the road
      I guess I'm a bit anxious cause most girls I meet and become close with say I make a great 'friend'.
      I'm all for being a good, trustworthy and fun friend, but if I'm herded into the friend pen by all these girls, who will I *eventually* go out with?
      That's why I kinda panic when a girl comes out and says (or heavily implies [talking about S here]) that she likes me.
      Even though I can't return her feelings, I don't have the balls to say no.
      Cause if she asks why, what reason do I have?

      That's my primary concern...
      Any insight on that?

      You're great guyz,
      Ice

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      haha. i remember that episode..
      i remember i didn't understand that episode when i watched that when i was like 7
      i watched till like ep 30 of season one of pokemon this week with my little brother.

      i don't know if i understand you well enough. correct me if i'm wrong, you're saying that you'll just treat all of your girl friends the same way and just see what happens? well yeah, that is a safe choice.
      so i guess you were just excited or something since like some girls were after you and you just thought of the possibilities with them?

      although what i don't get is when you said: ''I'm all for being a good, trustworthy and fun friend, but if I'm herded into the friend pen by all these girls, who will I *eventually* go out with?''
      so please expand a little bit on that since i really did not get it.

      That's why I kinda panic when a girl comes out and says (or heavily implies [talking about S here]) that she likes me.
      Even though I can't return her feelings, I don't have the balls to say no.
      Cause if she asks why, what reason do I have?
      let me TRY to get you with this example:
      what if C for example (since she's the one who doesn't heavily imply that she likes you)
      told you she likes you. then you wouldn't say no to her JUST BECAUSE you don't have a reason why?
      i found your statement quite confusing, so.

      but if i got your whole comment right, then what you're trying to say is:
      -you never have the balls to say no to a girl
      -and that you'll just treat all of your girl friends the same and then just see what happens?

      well when i was like really young (like 10 years old) this girl told me she liked me and i just ignored it for a while and got to know her. then i sorta got convinced to like her then it just sparked up like that. i guess i was like you; i didn't have the balls to say no because she liked me and i didn't wanna let her down (and i know how it feels to get rejected and have your heart broken).

      so that's my insight for your situation right now.
      correct me if i'm wrong about my interpretation of your sentences.

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      Haha. That episode was touchy, I must admit.

      Well, if you don't really need a gf then yes. I guess you could just stay friends with all of those girls and see what happens.

      IceAce1357 wrote:


      I'm all for being a good, trustworthy and fun friend, but if I'm herded into the friend pen by all these girls, who will I *eventually* go out with?
      That's why I kinda panic when a girl comes out and says (or heavily implies [talking about S here]) that she likes me.
      Even though I can't return her feelings, I don't have the balls to say no.
      Cause if she asks why, what reason do I have?


      I actually didn't get that. The first sentence specifically.
      Well, what if C or S confesses to you that they like you? Then what are you gonna do? It's like an on the spot question so what you're trying to say is, if one of them tells you they like you, you're going to say yes since you ''do not have the balls to say no''? Is that what you meant to say in the last 3 sentences of the quote?
      I didn't really understand your paragraph, so I'm not very sure.

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      K I'll try and re-word this...
      Umm...

      I'm no good at telling girls I don't like them back because I hate to see their feelings hurt.
      But at the same time, if I kinda float around the "maybe" friend zone with other girls then I'll never find a girl I like because I'll have to say no to some other girls.
      But if I reject the girls that like me, what do I say?
      I can't just go:
      "Sorry, I don't like you... I'm not sure why, but I don't."
      Seems a bit cruel :(

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      Well it is cruel.
      I don't think anyone enjoys telling someone that he/she doesn't like the person who's crushing on them.

      But at the same time, if I kinda float around the "maybe" friend zone with other girls then I'll never find a girl I like because I'll have to say no to some other girls.

      That's how life is--you can't say yes to everyone. I mean I know you wanna say yes so that you won't see those girls get hurt, but if they really like you then they would want you to be happy with who you truly like.
      I say, just go with your instincts. Just go for whoever you like. Stop being hesitant with trying to find someone you like just because of those other girls, because you won't find the girl you really like that way.
      I mean as of now, do you think you're trying to convince yourself to like C or S just because they like you back?

      I don't know honestly how I'm gonna make sense to you right now. I think my reply right now sounds pretty blurry. But main point is, just go for whoever you like; don't let those other girls be a hindrance. Even though you know some feelings will be crushed.

      Do I make sense to you?

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      IceAce1357 wrote:

      K I'll try and re-word this...
      Umm...

      I'm no good at telling girls I don't like them back because I hate to see their feelings hurt.
      But at the same time, if I kinda float around the "maybe" friend zone with other girls then I'll never find a girl I like because I'll have to say no to some other girls.
      But if I reject the girls that like me, what do I say?
      I can't just go:
      "Sorry, I don't like you... I'm not sure why, but I don't."
      Seems a bit cruel :(


      Don't just restrict yourself to the ''maybe'' friend zone. I mean you could still ponder upon those friends of yours, but it shouldn't be an obstacle for you when finding a girl you really like.

      Um. Yeah, like what I said, you COULD still ponder upon that ''maybe'' with those friends of yours, but you shouldn't restrict yourself to only them. They're not your only choices, y'know? Look at other girls too, not just your close friends. When you find one try to be her friend and stuff.

      But I gotta ask you something.
      1. I know you don't wanna tell C or S that you don't really like them, but don't you think that's more painful on their part? Because you're hiding the truth from them. If you told them now then maybe they could go find someone else instead of trying so hard and trying to catch something they'll never get. Or would you rather try again and see if you see something? [Wait, are C and S like REALLY close to you or more like close friends?] I just want your opinion on telling them. Like do you think you'll ever do it? Or do you think you're still gonna try them? I dunno just tell me. 'Cause I honestly find your case pretty interesting since there's S who's trying so hard but you just don't like her since it's been 2 years? [Since you said you've known her as early as grade 7] and C who seems like a sweet girl--a keeper.

      2.Aren't you at all appriciative of C and/or S? I mean, honestly even if I didn't like the girl, I would give them a shot. Not like immediatly bf/gf but try to know them at a deeper level-like be a REALLY close friend [like have ''the talk''. the one where you talk about all your personal issues and open up about all that shit in life] and see if we have like some common understanding or common ground good enough for a relationship.

      3.And, with your very long list of ''potential gfs'' as of now, what do you think of each of them? Like any one you think would be ''it''. After me and all the people in this forum have told you.

      I just wanted some insights, if that's okay. :wink:
      I hope I didn't ask too much from you.

      The post was edited 4 times, last by foreverisalie ().

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      IceAce1357 wrote:

      K I'll try and re-word this...
      Umm...

      I'm no good at telling girls I don't like them back because I hate to see their feelings hurt.
      But at the same time, if I kinda float around the "maybe" friend zone with other girls then I'll never find a girl I like because I'll have to say no to some other girls.
      But if I reject the girls that like me, what do I say?
      I can't just go:
      "Sorry, I don't like you... I'm not sure why, but I don't."
      Seems a bit cruel :(


      There you go. Then stop floating around the maybe friend one. Like what the others said, you could STILL float around that idea, but don't restrict yourself to only them. And if you really wanna find a girl you like then you do have to say no to some. You can't say yes to all.

      foreverisalie wrote:


      3.And, with your very long list of ''potential gfs'' as of now, what do you think of each of them? Like any one you think would be ''it''. After me and all the people in this forum have told you.

      I just wanted some insights, if that's okay. :wink:
      I hope I didn't ask too much from you.


      Haha. I also wondered. I'm sorry, but you just have a lot of girls.lol. [I don't mean that in an insulting way or in any way offensive]

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      IceAce1357 wrote:


      Avoid making any bold decisions that I may regret 3 years down the road


      Life's too short to regret anything. Honestly, you should just make a move or do something while you're still young. If you continue to say ''I'll let this simmer until...'', then where will you get to? No where. Or if you let time pass you by, then you're wasting your years.

      You're a teenager, have some fun before you're all old. So what if you make a mistake? You followed your heart, you did what you want, and that's all what matters; living your life to the fullest.

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      clarissabealala wrote:

      Life's too short to regret anything. Honestly, you should just make a move or do something while you're still young. If you continue to say ''I'll let this simmer until...'', then where will you get to? No where. Or if you let time pass you by, then you're wasting your years.

      You're a teenager, have some fun before you're all old. So what if you make a mistake? You followed your heart, you did what you want, and that's all what matters; living your life to the fullest.


      Agreed. Nothing wrong with making mistakes. What if tomorrow was your last day, then you wouldn't be able to say that you took a chance at love.

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      all in for C just cause she seems like the most decent one. no drama, nothing wrong with her and it's mostly just a matter of time till something's bound to happen.

      Y isn't quite so straight forward. She and I spend alot of time poking fun at eachother and laughing. Sometimes we would just kinda stare at eachother for a good 5 seconds, smile and then look away. Most of my piers were sure she had fallen for me. It really seemed true when she asked just me to a movie which happened to be on Valentine's day. I thought sure, Y seemed like a good choice for a gf because I knew her really well already and we obviously had some kind of chemistry going on.
      awesome, I had a date for Valentine's day. But, the night before Y said her Boyfriend didn't approve. Whoa BOYFRIEND?
      Sooo... Now we're back to the regular silly friendhip that we had in the beggining. I'm happy with being friends, but I'll be lying if i said I wasn't just a bit excited for our outing and pretty disappointing when it was cancelled.

      well, the fact that she asked you out WHILE she has a boyfriend, doesn't that already summarize what kind of girlfriend she can be? if you want a long term relationship, would you want it with her? she seems risky since she can easily cheat on you. and by chemistry what do you mean? just cause you guys stare at each other for a while doesn't exactly point all out to chemistry.
      i basically do not get why y is there on your list.

      Finally there's A. If any of you guys recognize my username you'll probably remember A from my last thread "A freshman's cry for help." Read that post for more on this girl (I'm getting tired of typing...)
      So A and I are cool now I guess. She makes a point of waving and saying hi to me just about everytime I see her. She's very confusing and from a completely different social group so I have no idea what she thinks of me now.

      mmhmm. so do you still like her? that's the question.

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      Life's too short to regret anything. Honestly, you should just make a move or do something while you're still young. If you continue to say ''I'll let this simmer until...'', then where will you get to? No where. Or if you let time pass you by, then you're wasting your years.

      You're a teenager, have some fun before you're all old. So what if you make a mistake? You followed your heart, you did what you want, and that's all what matters; living your life to the fullest.

      ( lol, i can't believe i read like 3 pages of this. )

      well said. do something. at least you can make that mistake earlier in life.

      y seems like a slutty whore, sa seems short term, a seems too confusing, n is a bit risky, c seems sweet and nice. so i choose c.
      i mean really, if i placed THAT much effort into talking to a guy, then i must REALLY love that guy. she seems good.
      go for c. she already likes you, so it's impossible that she'll ever say no to you

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      Nobody is going to be able to help you in this department, If you want someone you will stay with for a long time, You will know... Believe me, you will certainly know. the only part we can help you with is after you find her, and we are supposed to help you get her. If you are stuck between more than one girl, then none of them are it. The girl you want will stand out above the rest, and you will know it. Just wait, and try to meet as many new people as you can.

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      do you like y?
      agreed chem is not just by looking at each other.
      i bet you just looked at her since she was looking at you.

      n or c.
      honestly they're like you're only choices amongst all these.
      i would go for c since she seems like a great friend. maybe you just don't know her well enough.
      reasons to go with her:
      1.shes your friend
      2.she meets all your criteria
      3.deep inside you like her?
      4.she went through so much just to talk to you. doesnt that at all gain your respect?
      5.there's some imaginary person in your head that keeps you from loving the real one right in front of you.
      actually i had no right to say number 5 since i dunt noe u XD haha. i just wanted to say it thou LMAO

      reasons to date n:
      1. shes you're bestfriend (at the same time, it's a con. if you go out with her and break up, trust me, you won't be friends anymore)
      2. you know her well.
      3. personally, when someone says that some opposite sex is their ''bestfriend'' they kinda mean that they secretly like that person.

      anyway, about letting it all ''simmer''. you won't get anywhere with that. go do something. your life is short, 'aight? if you wait no fUcKiNg thing will happen.

      The post was edited 2 times, last by webelong ().

    • Re: A Conflicted Freshman :S

      IceAce1357 wrote:


      Even though I can't return her feelings, I don't have the balls to say no.
      Cause if she asks why, what reason do I have?

      That's my primary concern...
      Any insight on that?



      just tell her the truth. if you lie you just cause drama.
      if a girl tells you, just tell her that you like her as a friend and all but you're just not ready or you just like that person as a friend