I am a fifteen year old girl. I feel like a total failure in life. I fight with my family a lot. I am mad at my friend for sometimes belittling me, but I can't say anything because my shyness controls my life--I am in a club at school but haven't met anyone. I don't like my weight even though it is normal. I feel like I'm stuck in the same spot and can't get out. My medicine for social anxiety and OCD (I was diagnosed with both) help a little, but not enough. I check that the front door is locked and that the front hall closet is shut before I go to bed. I am also not willing to be downstairs alone incase a bad person shoots me from the backyard. If I am on the computer I minimize the screens incase the person will read it. I have been going to counseling since fourth grade because I used to climb all up in my closet searching for criminals. I also have this thought where I try to make the endings of a rootword longer by one word. My favorite is light- because I can got five from it (light, lights, lighten, lighting, lightning). I also feel that people are going to be able to see a list of every word I say and I change what I say to not repeat something and to sound smart. I feel that I have OCD and I have been diagnosed by a couple psycholgists. I also have sobeen diagnosed by my psychiatrist with social anxiety. I am outgoing at home but i clam up at school. I feel like I am being judged by people my age. I don't even like standing up at lunch in front of my friends who are sitting down because they will think that I am fat. I feel very open with my classmates. However, they tell me that I am weird/random/annoying. I am willing to do whatever. Thanks.
I need to talk to someone..
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hey i am here
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u can talk to me anytime. and if u wanna to get rid of urs problem donot control urs self. donot care for anyone .do whataver u want.talk to other people without caring what they will think about you. and urs problem will solve. trust me.
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what others think shouldn't bother you as much. it hurts to hear criticism but you are YOU and whatever they say, you're still the same... If they find time to criticise you, it means that they got too much time on their hand and you are important enough for them to talk about you>!
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Hey, I know what that feels like. If you ever need to talk you can PM me.
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yeah, you must be too good for them, there's obviously some jealousy from your schoolmates if they need to talk about you all the time and make you feel bad about yourself. Everyone hated me in school, and eventually I matured, and I stopped... basically screening what comes out of my mouth. You'll find friends that love you for you, when you're being all wierd and crazy. It just takes time. You have to become comfortable with who you really are, before anyone else can. If they want to gossip about you or anything, let them! At least they have you on their minds, and someone is eventually going to stand up to them and tell them how wonderful of a person you really are. Then people will start to learn.
Really, think about it this way.. It's not like these people are going to be in your life for EVER. I don't really talk to anyone from highschool anymore, except my friends that really loved me for all my wierdness. And trust me, there's a lot of it. haha. yeah, these people aren't your family, they're just people that live in the same area of town as you do. And chances are, their lives are a lot more fucked up than yours. So just think to yourself, fuck these guys, I'm gonna be how I wanna be. Once you stop caring, other people stop caring, and they'll come around. Or they'll go away. Let them decide, and you can decide who you hang out with, and who you don't.[CENTER]. : Hard Work Pays Off in the Long Run. Laziness Pays Off NOW : .[/CENTER]
[CENTER]:wink: Member of the Kind of Weird Sexy Club :wink: [/CENTER] -
love2loveyou wrote:
I am a fifteen year old girl. I feel like a total failure in life. I fight with my family a lot. I am mad at my friend for sometimes belittling me, but I can't say anything because my shyness controls my life--I am in a club at school but haven't met anyone. I don't like my weight even though it is normal. I feel like I'm stuck in the same spot and can't get out. My medicine for social anxiety and OCD (I was diagnosed with both) help a little, but not enough. I check that the front door is locked and that the front hall closet is shut before I go to bed. I am also not willing to be downstairs alone incase a bad person shoots me from the backyard. If I am on the computer I minimize the screens incase the person will read it. I have been going to counseling since fourth grade because I used to climb all up in my closet searching for criminals. I also have this thought where I try to make the endings of a rootword longer by one word. My favorite is light- because I can got five from it (light, lights, lighten, lighting, lightning). I also feel that people are going to be able to see a list of every word I say and I change what I say to not repeat something and to sound smart. I feel that I have OCD and I have been diagnosed by a couple psycholgists. I also have sobeen diagnosed by my psychiatrist with social anxiety. I am outgoing at home but i clam up at school. I feel like I am being judged by people my age. I don't even like standing up at lunch in front of my friends who are sitting down because they will think that I am fat. I feel very open with my classmates. However, they tell me that I am weird/random/annoying. I am willing to do whatever. Thanks.
how many times have u posted this now? -
dont worry bout what other ppl have to say or think. That will only make u more paranoid. Not everyone in the world will hurt you. A bunch of ppl probably will but u just have to find the right ppl for you. I found that out. My xbf, David, I thought he was great, but now he is pissed at me and to tell u the truth i could care less cuz i'm happy. Yea i've got myself into sum shit, but I'm happy. My kinda sorta bf right now is great. He is everything to me. Accuatally to tell u the truth when i get to his house I call it home. I can sleep here. He buys me everything. Yea there is an age difference but i'm happy with him. I don't blame u for checkin the doors to see if they are locked. That is one thing I do all the time. Well If you need any help I'm here for ya. Just pm me or sumthin and I'll get on here whenever i can. I'll ttyl. Peace
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Sometimes Its hard, having a total distrust in everything.
I think what helped, 4 my fears and paranoid suspicions, was to totally confront them. In your case, do something small. Say hi to someone new. People arent out to hurt you, take a deep breath and step outside of your comfort zone, just a really little bit at a time.
Take it slowly. You'll be ok. Have some trust in the world - as much of a bitch it can be, it can also be sweet as. -
I am here too...anytime. It isnt very nice to feel lonely.
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At least you don't have to "test" anything you do in fear that it might kill someone or something bad might happen due to you messing up (if I lock my door, I have to fucking "test" it 10 times before I think it's actually locked... if a drop of water falls on the ground, I have to clean it up 120% in fear that someone will slip and die...).do not fear the unknown
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don't care what people think. if you dont like the way you look, change it. diet, exercise, etc. don't fight with your family...most of it is probably over stupid shit. If your friends belittle you, tell them to go fuck themselves.
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May I suggest you embrace some of your O.C.D. tendencies, rather than try to change/eliminate them? The next time you hear on the news about a "break-in" where the burglar just used an unlocked door, chortle with self satisfaction over the fact it will never happen at your house, and then rest easy. Look forward to the day when could be flying on business, secure in the knowledge that no one can steal your ideas because your windows are minimized.:)
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