she doesnt feel the same anymore

    • she doesnt feel the same anymore

      hi again

      so anyway me and my girlfriend have been having a few issues so i talked to her to find out why and she told me that she doesn't feel the same about me as she did before and that she's seeing me in a different way.

      basically what she said is that she doesn't love me as much anymore and is viewing me in a less romantic way. we're still together, but things are as you can imagine a little strained. she also said that she doesnt want to breakup.

      she said she was confused at the moment and she's not sure if she still loves me. because this change in her views happened in about the span of a day we're both hoping it's just a phase will pass as quickly as it came.

      so far we've deduced that she's is still attracted to me physically and wants to be around me (friendly). if anyone has any experience with this kindof thing it would be very helpful.

      things to note:
      - her change of heart over me was pretty much instantaneous (as in wake up one mourning and feelings had changed, this happened 6 days ago)
      - she became sick the day it happened and continued to be sick for several days afterward (loss of appetite.etc)
      - she is currently having her period (im not sure how much that changes things)

      also i did something which i regard as stupid, i told her not to say 'i love you' at all until she was sure how she felt, not to me or in txts.

    • Re: she doesnt feel the same anymore

      I think, You should end it there's no point on holding onto a relationship with no spark, It's even worse she's confused. She's not going to wake up her feelings completely change to the point she loves you again. I also think she doesn't want to break up because she wants to continue to tell people she has a boyfriend which is bad. You should move on, Other fish in the sea
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    • Re: she doesnt feel the same anymore

      thankyou for the speedy reply.

      hearttbeats wrote:

      I think, You should end it there's no point on holding onto a relationship with no spark


      but that's the thing, the spark is still there, it's just dimmed a bit, it's not like she isnt attracted to me in a romantic way at all.

      hearttbeats wrote:

      She's not going to wake up her feelings completely change to the point she loves you again


      why not? i mean maybe if i spend enough time with her, talk to her enough, she might. it's not impossible right?

      hearttbeats wrote:


      I also think she doesn't want to break up because she wants to continue to tell people she has a boyfriend which is bad. You should move on, Other fish in the sea


      not a chance, this is one i am sure of, she's not like that :)

    • Re: she doesnt feel the same anymore

      I've said some very similar things that she's said, and basically that's my way of "letting someone down easily". The way I figure, if I tell someone that I still have feelings, but that they're not as strong, that they'll take that better than "I don't have feelings for you anymore and want to break up".

      Then again, your girlfriend is not me, and she's the only one who really understands what she wants or doesn't want. Most girls that I know, when they claim something happened "overnight", it's really just because they don't want to let the other person know that they have been unhappy for sometime, as they want their partner to feel that they were happy for as long as they were together. Or...sometimes it is kind of overnight. That is the thing with hormones and emotions, they can come and go, especially when you're younger.

      It's pretty common for people to be fickle with "love", and you will definitely not be the first couple to dissolve seemingly overnight.

      What it all boils down to is this: nearly any relationship can be saved if both parties with to work on it 100%. If she's not interested in it enough to fully work on it then it isn't going to work. Period. If she's only lukewarm about staying in the relationship then it's really pointless to carry it out, no matter how optimistic you want to be about it. It's also normal to have some doubts, and there are times when most couples think "is this right for me?" That doesn't mean that they all should break up, and many couples go through that phase to be together for many happy years. You just need to decide if riding this out would be worth it for you or not. You shouldn't stay in a relationship that you're feeling undesirable in, and you deserve to have a partner who wants you as much as you want them. That may be this girl and it may not be. There's nothing wrong with it either way.

    • Re: she doesnt feel the same anymore

      types wrote:

      thankyou for the speedy reply.


      why not? i mean maybe if i spend enough time with her, talk to her enough, she might. it's not impossible right?



      The feeling would have to be netural, If I was in your shoes I wouldn't want her to feel overbarred with, you hanginig around her all the time. I would try and maybe cut it down to a weekly basics since she's still confused on where you two are in a relationship.
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