I'm making this thread for a good reason. I'm going to go into detail. So, please try to keep up. If you can't then click the little back button on your broswer instead of trying to make yourself sound more bright.
We are talking about cutting here. And no, I'm not going to give you some sob story about how I cut or anything like that. This is directed to the people that continue to say people cut for attention.
Johnny Deep was an active cutter. I'm sure you wouldn't have known that because he never told people. During interviews the subject never came up because he wasn't seeking attention. He had a rough childhood. He wanted to keep it in the past because people flame him for it. Don't believe me?
A number of famous figures have revealed that they are cutters, which has lessened the stigma surrounding it. Princess Diana and actors Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie are among those who went public with their habit.
The Lompoc Record
Princess Diana, Angelina Jolie and Johnny Deep are people that did cut and finally realized that it was a bad habit.
Let's be real. People that don't cut won't understand those that do. You can try and try to read between the lines but you won't even come close to understanding it. What you do is bash those people. You sit there and pick on them because you don't know their life background. Personally, I think those are the people with problems. If you can sit behind a computer screen and bash someone because of their life then you need physical treatment.
Those who pick on cutters lack something. And you can't deny that cutters don't have feelings. They cut to show their feelings. The whole three years that I cut no one knew. I started out cutting for a stupid reason. Then I gave it up for a while and went to popping. One time I forgot to cover my popping marks and someone asked. I denied it. I lied to their face and felt shameful because they tried to understand. The next thing I know I'm being bashed because my mom found my knife in the top drawer of the bathroom. I never recieved help. I didn't need it. I felt like a freak everytime the word "help" came up in a conversation. I walked out of the room to cover the words people threw at me. And I got depressed. I cut more and more. People saw my eyes and saw my pain. I got help and I still get help. It's a neverending battle. To this day I look at my scars and feel the pain all over. But don't sit here and bash me. Because my life has been hell.
I stand for all the cutters in the world. I feel their pain. I live with mine everyday. I don't teach others how to cut. My best friend was highly depressed. I saw through his "I'm fines" all the time. He wanted to know what I did to deal with my depression and I backed down from it for a while. He asked me about cutting and I told him. I told him everything. I went through it with him. And he asked where to cut and how. I fucking told him. I don't regret it because I'm glad that I was the person he came too. He doesn't cut. And I'm glad he doesn't. Because you wake up everyday wondering when the next cut will be. How long or big you will make it. It eats away at you.
This thing applies to me and every cutter out there.
WARNING;;
Before you make that first cut, remember--
You will find the blood and pain release addictive.
Even though you think you can make a few tiny cuts that aren't deep and will heal easily--
They will get deeper.
They will scar.
They will take sometimes months to heal.
And years for the scars to fade.
If you think you can limit the cutting to one area of your body think again.
It will spread when you run out of skin.
Be prepared to withdraw from others and live in a constant state of shame.
Even if you are the most honest person ever to live--
You will find yourself lying to the people you love.
You will jerk back from your friends when they touch you as if their hands were dipped in poison.
You will be terrified that they will feel something under the cloth of your shirt or because it just plain hurts so much to be touched.
Be prepared to get so out of control you fear your next cut because you don't know how bad it will be.
Just wait for 10 cuts to turn into 100.
Be prepared for your entire life to revolve around thinking about cutting--
Cutting and covering up cutting.
And just wait till that first time you cut "too deep."
And you freak out because the blood won't stop...
And you are gasping...
And you feel yourself shaking all over.
You are having a panic attack and you are terrified but you can`t tell anyone.
So you sit there alone...
Praying it will be okay--
Swearing you'll never let it go this far again...
But you will, and further....
Don't worry, you will learn how to take care of your cuts so that you can go deeper and deeper and avoid the ER.
And the better you get at treating your cuts,
The deeper they get.
You will lie to yourself and justify it when you find youself spending 20, 30, or 50 dollars every time you go the pharmacy.
You will feel the flutter of your heartbeat everytime you go to the counter to ring up your order.
Butterfly strips--
3 or 4 different kinds of dressings...
Betadine...
Antibiotic cream...
Medical tape...
Scar reducers...
You will tap your foot impatiently hoping the line will just move and noone will stare at you or wonder why you need all these things.
And at the same time secretly hope someone will notice--
Someone who is standing in line with an armful of the same supplies.
Someone who understands--
But of course that never happens.
Medical supplies won't be the only thing you spend all your money on.
Be prepared to buy a new wardrobe--
Longsleeve shirts in summer colors, bracelets, wristbands, boots...
The list goes on and on.
You will start looking at everyone in a different way.
Scanning their bodies for any signs of SI.
Just hoping that you might meet someone like you so you don't feel so terribly alone.
You wont even think about it,
As your eyes scan their wrists arms.
Hoping, just hoping they will be like you.
But they are not.
You will see their clean arms and feel terribly ashamed and alone.
You will start doing a lot of things alone.
You will always have to wash your laundry in private so no one sees the blood stains on your clothes and towels.
You will always be cleaning up the blood.
Scrubbing your bathroom floor.
Wiping the blood off your keyboard.
You won't be able to make it through a day without cutting.
Next thing you know you are in a public bathroom somewhere breaking open a scab with a sewing needle that you keep in your wallet for emergencies.
When you get really desperate,
Anything will be a cutting tool...
Scissors...a car key...a needle...a paperclip...even a pen.
Doesn't matter what it is if you need to cut bad enough you will find something.
Say goodbye to things you took for granted.
Like wearing shorts or sandals...pedicures...sleeveless tops.
A normal summer day at the beach or in a swimming pool will become a far off memory for you.
Get ready to itch.
Because you will itch and itch.
So much you will look like you have fleas or a skin disease.
You will become an expert on your body as you destroy it carefully.
You will dream about cutting.
You will dream about being exposed.
It will haunt you day and night and take over your life.
You will wish you never made that first cut because while you absolutely hate cutting--
At the same time you love it and can not live without
Don't be an ass and bash people for their choices. I don't bash those who are gay, black, believe in God or anything along those lines. It doesn't make you a bigger person. You just look like an ass that lacks common sense.
We are talking about cutting here. And no, I'm not going to give you some sob story about how I cut or anything like that. This is directed to the people that continue to say people cut for attention.
Johnny Deep was an active cutter. I'm sure you wouldn't have known that because he never told people. During interviews the subject never came up because he wasn't seeking attention. He had a rough childhood. He wanted to keep it in the past because people flame him for it. Don't believe me?
A number of famous figures have revealed that they are cutters, which has lessened the stigma surrounding it. Princess Diana and actors Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie are among those who went public with their habit.
The Lompoc Record
Princess Diana, Angelina Jolie and Johnny Deep are people that did cut and finally realized that it was a bad habit.
Let's be real. People that don't cut won't understand those that do. You can try and try to read between the lines but you won't even come close to understanding it. What you do is bash those people. You sit there and pick on them because you don't know their life background. Personally, I think those are the people with problems. If you can sit behind a computer screen and bash someone because of their life then you need physical treatment.
Those who pick on cutters lack something. And you can't deny that cutters don't have feelings. They cut to show their feelings. The whole three years that I cut no one knew. I started out cutting for a stupid reason. Then I gave it up for a while and went to popping. One time I forgot to cover my popping marks and someone asked. I denied it. I lied to their face and felt shameful because they tried to understand. The next thing I know I'm being bashed because my mom found my knife in the top drawer of the bathroom. I never recieved help. I didn't need it. I felt like a freak everytime the word "help" came up in a conversation. I walked out of the room to cover the words people threw at me. And I got depressed. I cut more and more. People saw my eyes and saw my pain. I got help and I still get help. It's a neverending battle. To this day I look at my scars and feel the pain all over. But don't sit here and bash me. Because my life has been hell.
I stand for all the cutters in the world. I feel their pain. I live with mine everyday. I don't teach others how to cut. My best friend was highly depressed. I saw through his "I'm fines" all the time. He wanted to know what I did to deal with my depression and I backed down from it for a while. He asked me about cutting and I told him. I told him everything. I went through it with him. And he asked where to cut and how. I fucking told him. I don't regret it because I'm glad that I was the person he came too. He doesn't cut. And I'm glad he doesn't. Because you wake up everyday wondering when the next cut will be. How long or big you will make it. It eats away at you.
This thing applies to me and every cutter out there.
WARNING;;
Before you make that first cut, remember--
You will find the blood and pain release addictive.
Even though you think you can make a few tiny cuts that aren't deep and will heal easily--
They will get deeper.
They will scar.
They will take sometimes months to heal.
And years for the scars to fade.
If you think you can limit the cutting to one area of your body think again.
It will spread when you run out of skin.
Be prepared to withdraw from others and live in a constant state of shame.
Even if you are the most honest person ever to live--
You will find yourself lying to the people you love.
You will jerk back from your friends when they touch you as if their hands were dipped in poison.
You will be terrified that they will feel something under the cloth of your shirt or because it just plain hurts so much to be touched.
Be prepared to get so out of control you fear your next cut because you don't know how bad it will be.
Just wait for 10 cuts to turn into 100.
Be prepared for your entire life to revolve around thinking about cutting--
Cutting and covering up cutting.
And just wait till that first time you cut "too deep."
And you freak out because the blood won't stop...
And you are gasping...
And you feel yourself shaking all over.
You are having a panic attack and you are terrified but you can`t tell anyone.
So you sit there alone...
Praying it will be okay--
Swearing you'll never let it go this far again...
But you will, and further....
Don't worry, you will learn how to take care of your cuts so that you can go deeper and deeper and avoid the ER.
And the better you get at treating your cuts,
The deeper they get.
You will lie to yourself and justify it when you find youself spending 20, 30, or 50 dollars every time you go the pharmacy.
You will feel the flutter of your heartbeat everytime you go to the counter to ring up your order.
Butterfly strips--
3 or 4 different kinds of dressings...
Betadine...
Antibiotic cream...
Medical tape...
Scar reducers...
You will tap your foot impatiently hoping the line will just move and noone will stare at you or wonder why you need all these things.
And at the same time secretly hope someone will notice--
Someone who is standing in line with an armful of the same supplies.
Someone who understands--
But of course that never happens.
Medical supplies won't be the only thing you spend all your money on.
Be prepared to buy a new wardrobe--
Longsleeve shirts in summer colors, bracelets, wristbands, boots...
The list goes on and on.
You will start looking at everyone in a different way.
Scanning their bodies for any signs of SI.
Just hoping that you might meet someone like you so you don't feel so terribly alone.
You wont even think about it,
As your eyes scan their wrists arms.
Hoping, just hoping they will be like you.
But they are not.
You will see their clean arms and feel terribly ashamed and alone.
You will start doing a lot of things alone.
You will always have to wash your laundry in private so no one sees the blood stains on your clothes and towels.
You will always be cleaning up the blood.
Scrubbing your bathroom floor.
Wiping the blood off your keyboard.
You won't be able to make it through a day without cutting.
Next thing you know you are in a public bathroom somewhere breaking open a scab with a sewing needle that you keep in your wallet for emergencies.
When you get really desperate,
Anything will be a cutting tool...
Scissors...a car key...a needle...a paperclip...even a pen.
Doesn't matter what it is if you need to cut bad enough you will find something.
Say goodbye to things you took for granted.
Like wearing shorts or sandals...pedicures...sleeveless tops.
A normal summer day at the beach or in a swimming pool will become a far off memory for you.
Get ready to itch.
Because you will itch and itch.
So much you will look like you have fleas or a skin disease.
You will become an expert on your body as you destroy it carefully.
You will dream about cutting.
You will dream about being exposed.
It will haunt you day and night and take over your life.
You will wish you never made that first cut because while you absolutely hate cutting--
At the same time you love it and can not live without
Don't be an ass and bash people for their choices. I don't bash those who are gay, black, believe in God or anything along those lines. It doesn't make you a bigger person. You just look like an ass that lacks common sense.
Avacraft
