Okay. So I have two best friends. The three of us are all best friends actually. We hang out a lot and have a lot of inside jokes. My best friend Jessica (Let's just call her that for now) likes my best friend Matt (Let's call him that for now.).
Jessica is a big flirt. Matt knows I like Jessica a lot..

Here's the background: I met Jessica 10 months ago through one of my friends at the end of my sophomore year. Seriously the last week of it. But I got to know her over summer. And over the summer.. I told her I liked her. (text.. Stupid me) And she said she kind of liked me. I wanted to date her. But she would always tell me that she couldn't date.. that her parents wouldn't allow her (her dad's a cop and her mom's strict with boys). Well, I kind of understood that.. So we didn't really talk much the last month of summer. Coming into the first weeks of school.. I got my friend (let's say.. Jasmine) that was on the soccer team with her to give her a letter I wrote.. telling her how much I liked her. She then told Jasmine that she was dating someone. Jasmine and I were talking and so.. I asked. And she asked if I really wanted to know.. and so I said yes of course.. she told me.. and I was really.. I don't know how I felt. I was lied to. I didn't talk to Jessica for a week or two.. But when I finally talked to her. She told me that she didn't know she had to tell me when she stopped liking me. I was in shock, honestly. And well me and her would see each other around school and say hi but not really talk. And then we all of a sudden just stopped talking. 2 months after that happened. I was talking with a group of friends. And I saw her talking to a guy (let's call him Carson.) that I knew. I came over to talk to Carson and me and her kind of talked. She told a story about how I played the guitar and sang Kiss Me to her over the phone. I pretended like I didn't remember. So then she started going out with Carson. She'd regret it later because he was kind of weird. She also started talking to my best friend Matt. They met because Carson and Matt used to be best friends. This was about 5 months ago.

It was funny because Matt used to ask me the one person I used to really really like. And I'd tell him it was Jessica and he didn't know who she was. Well now he does.

Ok so Matt and Jessica started talking. They became friends. Matt was going out with another girl (let's call her Haley.). So as time went by. Matt and Haley would keep on breaking up and getting back together. And Jessica didn't like being with Carson. So Christmas break started early because it snowed big time. I found out Matt broke up with Haley. And the next day Jessica broke it up with Carson. By this time I was good friends with Jessica. And Matt was best friends with Jessica. They'd talk about everything. And Matt told me he and Jessica might have sex. That she might be his first. And that he didn't want to date her really. And at the time I didn't care. Until the following day. Me, Jessica, and Matt went to the movies with a bunch of friends. I sat down. To my left was Matt and to his left was Jessica. To my right was a bunch of other people. So I was at the end of our group of friends.. So the movie started. My friend Matt was already flirting with Jessica. And I was kind of annoyed because I knew his intentions. That and I was alone. Matt is a really really nice guy. But he just doesn't think sometimes. Halfway through the movie.. I saw at the corner of my eye that Matt went in to give Jessica a kiss. By then I was really annoyed. I was bothered. After the movie. I just stood up and left without saying anything. Jessica noticed that I was upset about something and she went up to me after the movie and while going out of the theaters she gave me a hug from behind. She knows when I'm down or upset. And when we got into the car (her car cause she had the only car out of all of us and she also lets Matt drive it all the time..) I was really quiet. I didn't talk much. And usually I'm really hyper and loud when I'm with them.. So we all got home. I went to bed and the next day Jessica and I were texting. She asked me to tell me why I was upset and stuff. And I had to make sure why I was upset so I talked to Matt. His plans for the week was to hang out with a bunch of girls. And that Jessica was not really someone he wanted to date but someone he wanted to be best friends with and have sex with for the first time. So after I made sure of that..

I told Jessica. She was really upset. She told me she cried. She asked me for advice on what to do. Because she still wanted to be best friends with Matt, the way things were before they kissed. And so I helped her. She was upset with things like how she looked and asked why he didn't like her. I told her it was his loss and that she was beautiful. She then told me "You're really comforting at this. I don't know why you haven't been taken by now." So I just said, "Yeah, I don't know either. Oh well." she went on with stuff like I'm a great guy. And she ended the night talking to me and saying something like. "Thanks for everything. You're really helpful. You rock. Love you bess friend"
So I was feeling good after that. But my head was racing. I was thinking.. I like her a lot still.. I didn't want it to be like that but it was true. I liked her a lot still. Me and her were best friends. And getting to know her even more and being closer to her made me want her even more.

The next day came I was texting her. She later came over to my house while I had a bunch of guys over and the first thing she did was give me a hug for a whole minute basically. And I gave her a tight hug. Like a "I'll always be here for you." hug. So that week passed by. The next few weeks was basically of Jessica trying to get back to best friends with Matt. And in the middle of those weeks was New Years. I threw a little party. Invited about 10 people including the two of them. And we ended up with us in my bedroom. About 7 of us. Me the only odd one out because a girl wasn't all over me. There was a couple on my bed. And Matt and Jessica were on the other end of the bed just laying there. Jessica had her head on Matt's chest. I couldn't stand the sight. I wondered why Jessica kept on trying to get Matt to like her so much. Then I remembered.. it's the same thing with me trying to get Jessica to like me a lot..
But I was still bothered. The thought of him basically wanting to play Jessica annoyed me. So I didn't say anything and left the room to watch a movie with my brothers friends.

A couple days after new years we went to a basketball game. A college game. Jessica was in the passenger seat and Matt was driving. I was in the back with Matt's girlfriend (again (Haley)) and 2 other friends. Squished. On our way to the game trying to find the stadium, Jessica looked really bothered about something. I didn't know what it was. So while I was in the back, I texted her asking what was wrong. She told me her mom was in the hospital because the doctors said she had a tumor. She was really bothered the rest of the night. When we got to the game, in the parking lot, our group was a little split up. The rest of the group was way in front of us already almost at the doors and Jessica was in the middle by her self. I was with Matt and Haley talking to them about 20 steps behind Jessica. And I noticed Jessica was alone. So I ran over to her, carefully because of the icey ground, and I asked her if she wanted a hug. So she turned to me and I gave her a hug. She seemed to be better. Or at least acted like it. And during the game I sat by Jessica to my left and Matt to my right. Haley was in the seat infront of Matt. Half way through the game Jessica started getting bothered again and sad. She got a phone call a couple minutes after. And she said she wanted to take a walk. So her and our other friend that was a girl went and walked around with her. The phone call was about her mom and it was about her being in the hospital in the same area as we were in. She had tears in her eyes and I didn't know what to do. So I just kind of talked to her. The game got over and our whole group was being very supportive because they also knew what was going on. And we offered to go to the hosipital with her. But she said no. So we were all hungry and we found a McDonalds and we went there. Everyone else but me Matt, Haley, and Jessica went inside. Matt and Haley almost went inside until Jessica started walking off because she wanted to talk on the phone. We were in downtown of a city so we were worried about her. I volunteered to go with her to protect her from anything. And Matt and Haley also came after I went after her. She found out the doctors said her mom really had a tumor. So she burst into tears. At the time Matt and Haley were sitting 20 steps away from me and Jessica. And Jessica was really sad. She told us what was going on. And so she started walking off back to McDonalds. I ran up behind her and gave her a big hug from behind and whispered "I'm sorry" into her ear. We got on with the night and she seemed to get better. And she acted as if nothing was wrong. She went to the hospital for the next couple days after that night. And I would talk to her every day to try to make her feel better. To try to cheer her up. I wanted to be there for her every moment. I told her it would be all okay. That it would turn out good. Turns out.. it did turn out good. The doctors finally said that she was going to be fine and that she would be stable. That it wasn't serious anymore. Jessica got back to her normal self. And her and Matt were still best friends.

I went to prom 2 weeks after that. She was there too with her ex-boyfriend, Carson. I wasn't planning on going at all.. but for some reason I got peer pressured into going by some other people. And I thought, what the heck. Might as well. Matt wasn't going because he was grounded. And I got there. Jessica got there with Carson and she was beauitiful. I saw her come in. But I didn't want to go bug her with her date. But one of my other best friends told her she should say hi to me. So she came over to me and said hi. Gave me a hug. And the rest of the night was fun.

A week after that, I was upset for basically the entire week. Matt and Jessica had been spending a lot of time together. In school and out of school. And he still had a girlfriend. She was always with him. People would ask if they were dating and he would say "just best friends". He'd flirt a lot with her. She'd flirt back with him. It was obvious she still liked him.

That weekend. We went to a basketball game 2 hours away from our town. She drove. And I was with her. The reason we were going all the way down there was because of Matt.. he was playing on the JV team and told her to come. So she said she would.. and didn't want to be alone so she got me to go. I went without my parents knowing. And when we got there she and I didn't really talk much. There were other guys there and they'd be flirting with her so she'd be talking to them. I don't know why she ever asked me to come. After the game we stayed to watch the Varsity game. And Jessica was in the seat in front of me and in between Jessica and Matt was another guy. Matt basically told the guy to move so that Jessica and Matt could talk. And they flirted.. a lot. Right in front of me. So on the car ride back.. I was still really upset. But I didn't show it.

The day after.. I talked to Jessica. I wanted to let her know that I still really really really liked her. How I've felt about her. But it backfired. She told me to stop being so upset all the time that Matt and her were hanging out a lot. Matt told her that I was upset because of that.. because that's what I told him... so she didn't like it. She knew I liked her because she eventually found out because everyone else knew I did.. and she didn't really say anything about it.. so that day.. I almost gave up being friends with her. Because I've been hurt so much. That following week during school. I didn't talk to her at all. I didn't attempt to. I didn't even see her at school. And if I did.. I'd just walk the other way. I was depressed. I didn't want it like that. But I made it like that. So the thursday of that week.. I was coming out of the school entrance and she was coming in.. I saw her. She saw me. She pointed at me with a silly look on her face. And we hugged. We had a little conversation and she had to go to class. I started talking to her again after that.

Two weeks after that we were still good friends. Less than best friends but still good friends. I heard from Matt him and Haley were over for good.. the following day.. I heard form Haley that she heard from a friend that she saw Matt and Jessica kissing on the driveway of Matt's house.. and that Matt had his hands on her waist.. Haley was mad at him. Because it was only a day after they broke up.. that Matt and Jessica kissed. Haley saw it as him lying to her. He'd tell her that he loved her all the time. And a day after? Seriously.. Matt found out that Haley found out and was in an "oh crap." mode. I talked to him about it. And I told just basically questioned him. Our friendship. He knew how I felt about Jessica. And he told me about the kiss.. after I asked him if it really happened. He told me yeah it did. And I said to myself.. at least he told me the truth.

A couple weeks after all that happened.. Matt and Haley got back together again.. Jessica was upset because she didn't like him getting hurt by her. She was mad that Haley would always hurt him and that he'd end up being sad. Funny thing is.. that's how I am about Jessica getting hurt by Matt. Because it happens all the time. Later.. Matt and Haley broke up again..

2 weeks ago. Finally Spring Break came. Everyone was going different places. Matt was up north. Jessica was in a different city. They hadn't talked all week. But Matt and Haley talked all week. During that week Haley started to like him much much much more. And Matt still really really liked her.

Something was bothering Jessica. And she wouldn't tell me. So I tried and tried to get her to talk to me for about 3 days until she finally replied to my texts and said "Sorry I just need time and space." I told her "Okay. Take as much time as you need then." The day after.. she texts me back.. asking about how we were going to get Matt's birthday present because his birthday was that friday. That was the only reason she started talking to me again.. was because of MATT. And his birthday gift. So I talked to her about it.. and we had a plan for it. It was thursday when she got back. She got on her myspace and started talking to Matt again. But she texted me during that. She was really upset.. she told me Matt suggested that she should stay away from him while Haley is around. The reason was because Haley said that Jessica was saying crap about Haley. And Matt didn't believe Jessica.. Jessica being his best friend that was a girl.. became upset.. very upset.. so she came to me.. she talked to me.. she couldn't sleep well for 4 days straight.. she would end up staying up until 4 in the morning.. and I would stay up with her just to talk comfort her. One time we were even up until 5:30. She asked me for advice. And I told her she could either take a break from him, ignore him, or talk to him about it. I gave her choices. I didn't give her just one straight up answer. I gave her unbiased advice. And so she said she was going with the take a break/ignore him. And she said that she won't do it for his birthday.. but that she'd do it once school started up again.. the next monday.

So the next monday came up (Just this last week).. and it never happened. She started talking to him a lot again.. and he didn't know what was happening the past week. About how upset she was. And he acted like nothing ever happened. But I know it all happened. And watching Jessica keep getting hurt is really bothering me. She tells me that I help her so much all the time.. but she doesn't do it.. I like her a lot.. a lot.. no. I love her. I honestly do. I've never felt this much about one person for this long period of time. And me and her are now still best friends. But I just can't ever get close to being as good of friends as she is with Matt. Just some reason.. she always likes him more than me.. she comes to me for advice all the time.. but she goes to Matt to flirt or something else..

I just don't know what to do anymore.. This has been happening for the past 10 months. I don't know if I can take another summer, school year, and summer of this.. before College. Even Matt says that I'm the only guy that's ever liked her this much. And that I would be the only guy that wouldn't ever hurt her.. I know I would try my best not to.. and I care about her so much.

I just need help on what I should do.. I can't just stop liking her.. I can't chose to do that. Because if I had the choice.. I would've chosen to like someone else by now.. it's just hard to get over someone I like this much.. I need advice on what I should do so that I don't hurt myelf anymore..

I get what you're saying.
But I'm not that kind of person.

I do stand up for myself. But I do it to an extent. If I ever do get to that point where I'm just saying "fuck it", then I have them exactly where I want them. Because I'm too good of a friend to them and they would regret everything they've ever done if I just left them.

But I'm not at that point. And I'm not that kind of person.

Thanks for the advice. But I've already had that in my mind before and I'm not planning on doing it anytime soon.