I'm sorry you had to go through this. If they weren't happy, it's better that they did split up. As hard as it is to deal with, it's better than having them stay together and continuously bring the worst out in each other.

Have you really thought about why you don't like the new guy? If you can't come up with valid reasons as to why he's an "ass", it may just be because of the situation. Think about it and ask yourself if you see that he's a good guy outside of the situation, just as a person and how he treats you and your mom, etc., or if the situation is what's bothering you the most.

Whether you forgive her or not is completely up to you. It's a tough situation to be in. It doesn't seem like your mom is solely to blame. You don't even have to point the finger at anyone. Unfortunate things happen and sometimes it's not anybody's fault. You don't have to forgive her if you can't bring yourself to. It's up to you and how you feel. Take the time to think and come to terms with the situation. Try to find some good in it. Good luck.

Im sorry you were in this situation and you feel this way about her. But you have to think of things from other peoples situation. If it was an unhappy marriage then maybe they are better off without eachother? I know you feel stuck in the middle of this and want someone to blame, but these situations arnt always someones fault.
I understand that you dont like the idea of your mum being with someone else and I don't think it was right of her to cheat on your dad, but you might have to accept that this new man makes her happy. You don't have to forgive her but try to understand that this might have been tough on her too. As you get older you may be able to see clearer and then can decide whether or not to forgive her.

Jasmine is correct. You don't have to blame anyone for what happened. Regardless of the reason, it happened already, and you can't go back and "fix" it. However, things are probably better now than they were before, even if you don't realize it yet. Look at the good side of things..

Your dad no longer abuses prescription drugs.
Your mom is happy with her boyfriend.
There's no more arguing going on between your parents.

There are probably other good things that have came out of this, too. You just have to search for them.

Now, you don't have to forgive your mom. But, is it really just her fault? =/ She may have cheated on your father, which pushed the divorce into effect. However, as you said, they were already thinking about it beforehand. Also, your dad was abusing drugs, and they both didn't get along very well. If you were in her situation, would you want to stay with a spouse even though you weren't happy? =/

Your moms new boyfriend might have a ton of good qualities about him, and you just don't realize it because you're clouded by the anger towards your mother. Instead of trying to find reasons to dislike him, find reasons TO like him. I can name one off for you right now; He makes your mom happy.

I hope you can figure things out and be happy with the situation. Good luck. =)

Support Leader,
~James

When my parents went through a nasty divorce, I found it helpful to talk to a therapist so I had someone who could help me get through it.

I know not everyone likes to do that, but it really helped me a lot.

Jasmine, Katy, and James have the best of it...

My parents split when I was 2... but we all lived in the same house while my brother and I were growing up. My dad was outwardly disrespectful to my mom, and my mom talked about him behind his back. I guess they decided to try and tolerate each other for the sake of my brother and I...
I used to wish they would get back together... Every birthday candle and every shooting star went out to them... but I never got my wish.
Eventually, when my brother and I were old enough, They stopped living together, and we were flying back and forth between them. At the time, I felt like the travel was such a hassle and having to leave one parent behind to go to the other hurt every time.

However, now that I'm older and not living with any of them.. I have finally come to terms that my parents are never going to be back together. Just that realization has given me a new point of view. I was never really all that happy when they were together. I was being pulled to one side or the other... and it is really difficult to see your parents fight. I realized that the only reason I wanted my parents to get back together was because I thought they would stop fighting. When they finally stopped living together, I had a little more breathing room. There was less tension in the air and there was less immediate pressure for me to take one side or the other. As terrible as it was at the time, I'm really glad and really thankful for my parents decisions. I had the opportunity to get the feeling of a complete family, and when the time was right, they stopped putting my brother and I in the middle. I couldn't ask for a better situation... I'd much rather be able to have happy moments with them individually than miserable moments together.

As for not liking your mom's boyfriend... I'm right there with you as well... My dad has been married two times since.. Neither of whom I've liked.. and my mom was almost engaged as well, and I didn't like him either. It wasn't that they were terrible people. Although there were qualities in them that I didn't like. I knew/know that the reason I didn't like them was because they could never compare to my mom/dad. I disliked the fact that they tried to hard to get along with me... I wanted them to try yes.. but not to over-do it. *shrug* Plus, I'm over-protective of my parents... No one's good enough for them. I still feel that way... but I also know that I want them to be happy... and so I'll put my gripes aside as long as they're happy. Plus they're older than me and well qualified to make their own mistakes. As much as I don't want to... I need to let my parents do their thing... It takes a lot out of me to not interfere.. but when I see them smiling it makes my efforts worthwhile... It's not my place to judge their happiness. :wink:
if you ever need anything or just want to talk, feel free to PM me... I'll be more than happy to help.

I'm sorry to read what you going through, it must be so hard for you when the people who are supposed to be adults in your life behave like that. Sometimes being in such situations, coping well with divorce also can bring out strength and maturity. Some become more responsible, better problem solvers. Hope you will be alright.