anytime!

yeah I hope it works out for you. But I still think you should sit down and talk to her like an adult.

You love her because she's your mother. She gave birth to you and you have a special connection with her that you share and it's difficult to give up that connection. I'm dealing with somewhat of the same problem but I had a good friend who helped me figure out how I can have a better life even while living with her during my senior year of high school.

My friend, Scott, said "Dont let her get you down. Her negativity should motivate you to do better. Look at her life, look at the way she lives. Take pleasure in the fact of knowing that you CAN be better than that. Take happiness knowing that you WONT be like that because you're going to try as hard as you can and I know you're trying." and it's helped me a lot. Every time my mother cries, I know it's because she's a weak alcoholic and there's nothing I can do about that so I dont deal with her at all because I know she'll only put me down if I try to help her. But it sounds to me as if your mother isn't paying attention to you because she's consumed by her husband. A mother should always put her children's needs first before a man's. Always. And that's the bottom line is that she isn't being a good parent so while you're off, living your own life, and you dont involve her in your future life at all, she'll begin to wonder why and then you can say to her, "Well you never paid any attention to me THEN, why would you want to pay attention to me NOW? Because I'm living a better life than you are" and that's all you really need to say to her. She'll get the point. She'll learn the hard way. Trust me. You're not alone on this. PM me if you need to.

iT SOUNDS LiKE YOUR MOM REALLY DOESN'T CARE WHAT GOES ON iN YOUR LiFE SiNCE YOUR STEPDAD CAME ALONG. YOU SHOULD BE THE MOST iMPORTANT THiNG iN HER LiFE, NOT HiM. YOU ARE HER DAUGHTER AND YOU HAVE BEEN AROUND A LOT LONGER. HAVE YOU TRiED TO SiT DOWN AND HAVE A REAL TALK WiTH HER? i KNOW THAT'S PROBABLY FRUSTRATED TO HEAR B/C iT SOUNDS LiKE THERE iS A BRiCK WALL BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR MOM AND SHE DOESN'T REALLY CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY. i KiND OF HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM WiTH MY MOM, i TRY TO TELL HER HOW i FEEL AND SHE LAUGHS iT OFF OR ACTS LiKE iT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER, iN FACT SHE TELLS ME TO GET AWAY FROM HER. SOUNDS LiKE THERE iSN'T MUCH YOU CAN DO RiGHT NOW, BUT i'M HERE iF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE. JUST HANG iN...ONE DAY SHE WiLL REALiZE WHAT SHE HAS DONE AND SHE WiLL FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT iT.

Maybe she just doesn't know how to really handle it? As for the eating thing... at that point you might as well just take from them for it (money or food). There's nothing anybody here can really do for you. As usual, you have to change, to make up your mind, and act on it. That is the only thing that is going to save the situation. Nobody here is going to have some magic fucking bullet to save you from yourself.

Well that's how I felt for the first 5 years after my mom met her boyfriend. But after awhile I realized that it was both of us.

She was excited to be in a relationship
With her being my only parent I got attention from when she was giving it to someone else made me feel like she didn't love me anymore.

As for arguing, most parents wouldn't appreciate you things you dislike about them. So I could see why she would yell at you. And of course you are going to respect her more then she does to you, you are a child and she is your mother.

things will change.