ever since saturday, i've been feeling extremely low. i'm not clinically depressed or bipolar... but sometimes it feels that way. one minute i'm extremely happy, the next i'm feeling like shit. like yesterday... i was crying my eyes out for no real reason except i felt like nothing... and 5 minutes later i was laughing and dancing to music.

i don't know... it feels like no one cares anymore. my friends have all abandoned me for a good time... and when i need them, they are never around. i can't leave the house that often because my parents are incredibly strict about everything... it doesn't help that i never felt like i fit in anywhere. not even in a fricken online forum like this...

i just... i think i think i'm socially retarded sometimes. i am so fucking weird and self-centered and stupid... i'm not interesting at all... i have no purpose in life... if i did die, someone better could always replace me. they already have... but i'm too scared to die at the same time. i'm such a wimp, i can't even do it.

i dunno... i just wish i could be someone... fit in somewhere... i just wish i could be happy...