I am fifteen, turning sixteen in about two months. I am a devoted Christian, but my boyfriend is not. He is not an Athiest or anything, and reminds me often that he will always respect me and my Faith, and I believe him. My parents don't know I am with him, and have told me I was not allowed. I told him yes, and I knew they wouldn't like it, so I hesitated to tell my mom until about a week later. They weren't hard on me, and they didn't yell, they just said I couldn't date him. I feel bad because I'm going behind their backs, and I feel like I'm sinning because of the verse that says "don't be unequally yoked..." My boyfriend says he feels bad that I have to lie to them to be with him, and I think I am very much in love with him, and he says it's returned. I'm trying to keep God first in my life, and it hasn't been too hard. He's very receptive to what I have to say about Christianity, and says he'd even consider looking into it. That night my parents said I had to end it, though, I called him with the intention of ending it. But he was just totally torn down by it. And I felt that he would think I led him on to think an attractive older girl finally really digs him, and then ended it a week later. You should've heard how sad he sounded...I couldn't do it...
So the first problem is, I love him and my parents, but I know I cannot keep them all happy without lying... and I love my God. First question: How can I be as mature a Christian as I can while dating a non-Christian and making the decision that I won't break up with him for that reason?
I am trying to be a really good girlfriend. He's sort of the type of guy who wouldn't be very attractive to most girls [even my friends have said this, hahaha] but to me, he's ridiculously attractive. I'll go ahead and say sexy. And I try to remind him how impressive and funny I think he is every day, and he seems to really like it, and he compliments me a lot and will never let me say I love him more. And he's a freshman while I'm a sophomore, and I think it makes him feel good that someone older might be interested in him. I really want to make him happy a lot. He isn't a Christian, like I've said, but he has the "straight edge" values, and has gone by them despite a lot of his friends being druggies, and he's really confident. We've been dating three months, and have never really even gotten into a quarrel of any kind. I don't try to start them, and neither does he. When we have a problem, we are always able to talk about it easily. We talk on the phone almost every night until about three in the morning. The second problem is that he's not horny exactly, but I feel like I'm not physically pleasing him enough. We weren't friends very long before we started going out, and we were really shy when we did start. We don't have a lot of time to ourselves, especially because my parents can't know. As I've said, I love making him happy by saying complimenting him a lot. But he's also a really touchy-feely guy. I'm fine with that. He gives great hugs, and he always wants me to sit on his lap and hold hands, and he's great at making out. We haven't gone any farther than making out, but whenever we talk online, he always says suggestive things. Never blatantly, "I want to have sex/you to give me head" or anything like that, because I've told him I'm waiting for marriage and he's said he respects that and actually thinks it's wise. And I believe him. I don't think he'd ever try to make me do anything I wasn't comfortable with. But he is a guy, younger than me, too, and a very hormonal guy. I love him with all I got. And we've both admitted to daydreaming about each other...I mean it's normal for teenagers to fantasize about people they find attractive, right? Well, he always says he loves making out and jokes about how he wants to steal me away and take me places so we could "live a life of love", and he has this joke-fantasy of me minus clothes plus maple syrup. Hahaha, he's really weird, but I know he's always joking. And I humor him, and try to say things that'll turn him on. But I think by all his jokes he's trying to get across that he wants to do more, possibly. He respects my boundaries I can tell, but I don't want to seem like I'm ignoring all his hints that he wants more. I'm glad I don't have a relationship that isn't based on physical attraction and attention alone. But I don't want to do anything I'll regret. But I want to make him happy so much.
So my second question is how can I, a devoted Christian, please my boyfriend physically without sex. And by sex I mean oral and anal and straight up. What are some things guys really like. Little things that I can do or say to show him I am physically attracted to him. I just don't want him to think I don't think he is because he's a LITTLE on the heavy side, and most girls don't find him appealing like I do. Just...how can I turn him on/make him feel loved? How far is it okay for me to go as a Christian?
So the first problem is, I love him and my parents, but I know I cannot keep them all happy without lying... and I love my God. First question: How can I be as mature a Christian as I can while dating a non-Christian and making the decision that I won't break up with him for that reason?
I am trying to be a really good girlfriend. He's sort of the type of guy who wouldn't be very attractive to most girls [even my friends have said this, hahaha] but to me, he's ridiculously attractive. I'll go ahead and say sexy. And I try to remind him how impressive and funny I think he is every day, and he seems to really like it, and he compliments me a lot and will never let me say I love him more. And he's a freshman while I'm a sophomore, and I think it makes him feel good that someone older might be interested in him. I really want to make him happy a lot. He isn't a Christian, like I've said, but he has the "straight edge" values, and has gone by them despite a lot of his friends being druggies, and he's really confident. We've been dating three months, and have never really even gotten into a quarrel of any kind. I don't try to start them, and neither does he. When we have a problem, we are always able to talk about it easily. We talk on the phone almost every night until about three in the morning. The second problem is that he's not horny exactly, but I feel like I'm not physically pleasing him enough. We weren't friends very long before we started going out, and we were really shy when we did start. We don't have a lot of time to ourselves, especially because my parents can't know. As I've said, I love making him happy by saying complimenting him a lot. But he's also a really touchy-feely guy. I'm fine with that. He gives great hugs, and he always wants me to sit on his lap and hold hands, and he's great at making out. We haven't gone any farther than making out, but whenever we talk online, he always says suggestive things. Never blatantly, "I want to have sex/you to give me head" or anything like that, because I've told him I'm waiting for marriage and he's said he respects that and actually thinks it's wise. And I believe him. I don't think he'd ever try to make me do anything I wasn't comfortable with. But he is a guy, younger than me, too, and a very hormonal guy. I love him with all I got. And we've both admitted to daydreaming about each other...I mean it's normal for teenagers to fantasize about people they find attractive, right? Well, he always says he loves making out and jokes about how he wants to steal me away and take me places so we could "live a life of love", and he has this joke-fantasy of me minus clothes plus maple syrup. Hahaha, he's really weird, but I know he's always joking. And I humor him, and try to say things that'll turn him on. But I think by all his jokes he's trying to get across that he wants to do more, possibly. He respects my boundaries I can tell, but I don't want to seem like I'm ignoring all his hints that he wants more. I'm glad I don't have a relationship that isn't based on physical attraction and attention alone. But I don't want to do anything I'll regret. But I want to make him happy so much.
So my second question is how can I, a devoted Christian, please my boyfriend physically without sex. And by sex I mean oral and anal and straight up. What are some things guys really like. Little things that I can do or say to show him I am physically attracted to him. I just don't want him to think I don't think he is because he's a LITTLE on the heavy side, and most girls don't find him appealing like I do. Just...how can I turn him on/make him feel loved? How far is it okay for me to go as a Christian?
He'll more than likely tell you what he likes and what he doesn't like. If he doesn't tell you straight out, ask him! But rememebr, what he asks of you should be within your boundary limit, if it isn't just remind him what they are.