i've been really depressed for about two years, and i've been feeling suicidal all week. i don't know what to do. last year i was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
nobody's home right now, which makes everything even worse, because i could overdose any time i want to.
i've lost all of my friends and my family hates me now. it just seems like there's nothing left to live for. i'm fifteen, i've got a 150 IQ, and everyone always throws that in my face every time they try to talk me out of these sort of things. what does it matter?
i guess i'm just looking for help from strangers...

they hate me for being so depressed all the time, though i really can't help it. it's gotten too hard to just fake smiles. my dad never says a single word to me, my mom only communicates with me through screaming...
they gave up on me a long time ago.

i can't...insurance-wise. i've already spent too much time at the hospital this year and now i can't go back until next year. and around here there really isn't another option: it's hospital or deal with it on your own.