Just need to get it all out

x-effy-x · Jun 19th 2009, 12:52am

I've been feeling really down and depressed for a while now, I mean things just seem to be goin from bad to worse. Anyway ever since I left school a few weeks ago things seem to be getting really bad. I feel like I have no purpose in life and its weird but because I'm in the house most of the day on my own I feel sort of uncomfortable around people I used to be close friends with because my self harming has been getting worse and I just feel like everyones judging me. I told my boyfriend the other day about this and he was like I'm sure you'll be fine if you came out more often and I was thinking well I never actually get invited out.
Last night he said make sure your free tomorrow I want to take you out so I was like okay fine. He never called or texted me all day so I ended up texting him asking what he was up to and he said he was at his friends house and it just annoyed me so much. I thought I've been in all day waiting on him calling or texting but noo he never bothered to tell me he was going out with someone else instead. So I told him how I was feeling and that I'm actually driving myself insane being in the house all day and he was like well theats not my problem you need to make more friends and i was like well thanks for being so supportive that really makes me feel better about my issues and he was like your issues are hardly even that bad and I asked why he was being so insensitive and he was like its the truth though and i was like its really not i mean i swear its not normal to spend most of the day inside because you'r afraid any second your just going to randomly burst out crying and you feel like people are always looking at you and he didnt text back. Now I'm scared he's annoyed with me :(
Wow this is really long..thanks to anyone that actually takes the time to read all this rubbish haha

Alucard 117 · Jun 19th 2009, 1:24am

Let's see here....This might be a bit harsh, though I mean no ill will towards you.

You need do need to get out some, but your boyfriend should also be spending time with you during your time of need, not someone else. I wouldn't go so far as to tell you that you should dump him, but you need to have a good talk with him, and not let him go until he understands that you need him, and if he cannot provide that, something's got to change. Also, why exactly are you alone at home? Have you moved out? If not, you should try to talk to your parents. If you have, then I'm not too sure. You could try just hanging out with your friends, and just try to relax. If you're tense, then you might not have as much fun.

It also seems that you might be clinically depressed. I would try to seek out a therapist, or a doctor. Something is up, whether it's just that you need to get out, or that you're actually depressed.

I'm sorry if I'm no help, but I'm not good in these situations. I'm in a less serious version of your story, so I hope I'm helping.:)

ImNotATree · Jun 19th 2009, 2:19am

Hey x-effy-x!

It'll be okay. Life tends to question the the
person who has it in hand. Whether they
belong, the purpose... but isn't that what
life supposed to do? Ask you questions so
you can find the answers yourself?

Anyways, that's just something to think
about. As for you not getting out of the house
with the excuse of 'No one inviting me', you
should try to step up your game girl! Get out
there, take a chance and invite other people!
Everything won't come easy, and sometimes,
you just have to step out of your comfort zone
before anything in life will get better.

You may think you like your boyfriend a lot,
but when his girlfriend asks him for support,
and all he says is that you need more friends
and pushes you away, just let him push you
away and let him be. I don't think that he even
deserves you. You need someone to hold you
close when all you needed was a hand to
help you up, you know?

As for support, I will be your moral support. It's
hard when you feel lost and alone, the feeling
just eats you up. But if you need anything, just
know that I can be there for you.

Now get out there and answer any question
that life may throw at you <3

x-effy-x · Jun 20th 2009, 4:03pm

Alucard 117 wrote:

Let's see here....This might be a bit harsh, though I mean no ill will towards you.

You need do need to get out some, but your boyfriend should also be spending time with you during your time of need, not someone else. I wouldn't go so far as to tell you that you should dump him, but you need to have a good talk with him, and not let him go until he understands that you need him, and if he cannot provide that, something's got to change. Also, why exactly are you alone at home? Have you moved out? If not, you should try to talk to your parents. If you have, then I'm not too sure. You could try just hanging out with your friends, and just try to relax. If you're tense, then you might not have as much fun.

It also seems that you might be clinically depressed. I would try to seek out a therapist, or a doctor. Something is up, whether it's just that you need to get out, or that you're actually depressed.

I'm sorry if I'm no help, but I'm not good in these situations. I'm in a less serious version of your story, so I hope I'm helping.:)

Yeah that's what I was thinking and why I got annoyed, I mean it seemed like he didn't really care about how I was feeling when I told him. The reason I'm home alone is cause my dads at work, my sisters at school and my mum, well I don't know where she is..she just gets up and goes out before I'm even awake. I was too scared to talk to my parents because their getting divorced and have a lot on their minds without worrying about me. But yesterday my mum caught me in my room crying and asked what was wrong and I just went insane at her for no reason and she was like okay just calm down and tell me whats wrong so I did and she thinks I should go see a doctor. I'm kinda scared to though cause last time I went about feeling like this they said it was probably just low mood and that it's normal, that was last year and it feels worse now.

ImNotATree wrote:

Hey x-effy-x!

It'll be okay. Life tends to question the the
person who has it in hand. Whether they
belong, the purpose... but isn't that what
life supposed to do? Ask you questions so
you can find the answers yourself?

Anyways, that's just something to think
about. As for you not getting out of the house
with the excuse of 'No one inviting me', you
should try to step up your game girl! Get out
there, take a chance and invite other people!
Everything won't come easy, and sometimes,
you just have to step out of your comfort zone
before anything in life will get better.

You may think you like your boyfriend a lot,
but when his girlfriend asks him for support,
and all he says is that you need more friends
and pushes you away, just let him push you
away and let him be. I don't think that he even
deserves you. You need someone to hold you
close when all you needed was a hand to
help you up, you know?

As for support, I will be your moral support. It's
hard when you feel lost and alone, the feeling
just eats you up. But if you need anything, just
know that I can be there for you.

Now get out there and answer any question
that life may throw at you <3

Thank you that really means a lot to me

I took your advice, I got invited out to the cinema last night and there was a lot of people going and it was totally out of my comfort zone but I thought go on just try it. I went and I felt awful and uncomfortable like I knew I would but it wasn't so bad as it made my boyfriend realise that there actually is something wrong with me. He said whats up you dont seem like yourself lately and I was like honestly..I have no idea and im really scared the n he was like right, you're going to the docs on monday, so some good came out of it. Now all I need to do is build up the confidence to talk to the doctor about it :-|

stephaknee · Jun 20th 2009, 4:07pm

agreed =]

ImNotATree · Jun 20th 2009, 4:42pm

Even though it was uncomfortable, at
least you got your boyfriend to realize
something was wrong. Don't worry about
talking to a doctor, they're understanding
and everything said will be kept between
you, your doctor, and your parents.

Just hang in there!

x-effy-x · Jun 20th 2009, 8:55pm

ImNotATree wrote:

Even though it was uncomfortable, at
least you got your boyfriend to realize
something was wrong. Don't worry about
talking to a doctor, they're understanding
and everything said will be kept between
you, your doctor, and your parents.

Just hang in there!

Yeah I'm trying really hard not to worry about it but it seems to be all I can think about. I'm dreading walking in there and sitting down the the doctor being like so what's wrong with you? cause I'll panic I don't know where to start or how to explain what's wrong with me cause I've never actually had to say it out loud to anyone before and the fact that I actually don't know what's wrong so I'm kinda scared lol

ImNotATree · Jun 20th 2009, 9:02pm

Hehe, it'll be okay! Just let everything
out to your doctor! They won't disrupt
you or anything. They'll just listen. You'll
feel better once you're able to just let
everything that's been bothering you,
out. Humans need to let things out, cuz
if they don't, the stuff that's bottled up
inside will start eating them out. Trust
me, you'll feel much better. Everything
will be better once you go to the doctor.

There's nothing to worry about ! You'll
be uncomfortable at first, but afterwards,
you'll feel good.

Sloppy_Joe · Jun 20th 2009, 9:05pm

your boyfriend sounds like he needs to get a life or think more about you instead of himself. dont worry about wats goin on with your feelings. you need to talk to yr bf about him lieing. thatll keep yr mind off of things.

pepsicolagirl(: · Jun 20th 2009, 10:02pm

Wow, I'm sorry, but your boyfriend is not giving you what you need. He isn't treating you with the respect and support you deserve. If he knows you feel like this, then he should be by your side with you anytime he possibly can . He is being very selfish, IMO. He should be someone you can go to at any time to pour your feelings out, not someone your scared you might annoy trying to talk to him. You deserve so much better than that.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling depressed

I hope everything works out . I'm always here to listen if you ever wanna talk, feel free to PM me. I'd love to hear from you! Best of luck! :hugs:

Tenris · Jun 22nd 2009, 7:04pm

Hi

Okay, before I even start on the problem, your boyfriend...he's not right for you. I can tell that just from the two paragraphs you wrote hun. If he was right for you, he'd be there for you, and he would support you no matter what. You shouldn't be with someone like that...he won't help your problem.
Okay, look, I'm not gonna sit here and type a load of BS about you needing to go out more, 'cause I know it's easier said than done, so here's what I think: you said people judge you because of self harming, right? Well....you are right. They do. It's human nature to be an arse...so maybe that is reason enough to stick it to those who would judge you and stop self harming? I know it's easier said than done, but don't give them a reason to be like that hun

You're better than that.
As for going out...well, I'm sorry to say it, but I don't know. I don't go out either - but that's just what I like, I don't like outdoors xD I love the rain and the sun, but I fecking HATE the wind

So yeah. I'm not God so I don't know anything. I just think you need to ease into it all and make sure that you don't do too much too fast, but that you're going at a steady pace. You need to perhaps go out with one main trusted friend occasionally first, then a bit more often, then maybe invite some other people, until you gradually find that you're becoming more and more confident.
THEN! You'll look back at when you were down and think "Wow, what a plonker xD" Your depressionw ill slowly ebb away and you won't notice it until you're on top of the moon with all your new mates looking back on it...
If you just have some willpower, and some determination...you can do it. Trust me

Good luck x

Just need to get it all out

Just need to get it all out

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Alucard 117 wrote:

ImNotATree wrote:

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ImNotATree wrote:

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