need friendship advicee!!

    • need friendship advicee!!

      i know this looks really longg, but i desperatley need help :///


      okayyy
      so theres a group of three of us, me and we'll call them emily and sarah
      we've been best friends since year 7, so that's 5 years
      there's never been anyone in our group, just the 3 of us
      i mean, we're friends with other people, and each of us are friends with different people as well
      but recently we've all changed. we've got a lot more confident and independent and mature, and also know a lot more guys now
      ive started to get really annoyed with both of them and im not actually sure why.. :/

      for examplee we were in the park the other day and these two guys walk over. one of them would be the kinda guy i'd go for (tattoos and piercings and stuff) yet emily started acting all girly and really blonde and kept giggling with him..yet she'd normally go for quite chavvy guys. i felt like a complete tag along so in the end walked home..then she told our other friend that i had just walked off. which was a complete lie.

      whenever new guys are around emily will turn from a clever mature girl to some air head who does nothing but giggle. she cant say no and its caused her to go out with someone she didnt want to, get off with someone she didnt like and a lot more stuff like that.

      me and sarah often talk about how annoying it is, and i feel glad that someone agrees with me, yet then sarah will do the same. we'll go to a party and i'll see someone that i like, and just like that she has to be all over them, flirting like crazy.

      i mean, i don't get as irritated at sarah but i do at emily. and then when its us three together and this happens with them two..i just feel like i shouldnt be friends with them, that i shouldve been friends with someone else, and i feel so left out and like a tag along. quite often ive ended up leaving, and its only when ive left that they realise that theyve been quite mean.

      another thing that annoys me is that i do a lot of babysitting so i can earn some money, and its usually on a weekend, so i can never stay out too late. this happened last weekend, and while i was babysitting i got a text from emily saying "are you babysitting? lol" so i felt like she was laughing at the fact that she and sarah were still in town with these four guys that we knew, and i had had to go.

      they're both really pretty and i often feel like im just the ugly one out of us. :/

      i just dont know what to do anymore! but i really need to do something, because we've just finished school so know we've got 13 weeks of going out, partying, going into town and stuff..so i want to get this sorted/

      can anyone help? or is anyone in a kinda same position?
      sorry for the essay btw!
      xxx

    • Re: need friendship advicee!!

      Have you tried talking to them about it? Five years of friendship is something, I'm sure, you wouldn't want to just let go of without trying to work it out. They probably don't realize how much of an affect their actions are having on you. You can't change them, but you can voice your opinion and if they're good friends, they'll hear you out. People do change though and friends do grow apart over time. It's hard to deal with, but that's life. You may want to expand your social circle and try to find friends that you're more comfortable around. You can use the time over summer to meet new people and get involved in things on your own, independent from your friends. Like I said, you shouldn't just drop your friends right away. Try to talk to them and tell them how you're feeling. If the friendship isn't making you happy, you should look for other friends. Good luck.
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    • Re: need friendship advicee!!

      I pretty much agree with Jasmine. Being friends with the same people for that long is great, but you are all growing..and maybe not in the same direction . Don't just leave though..talk to them about it. Tell them how you feel and they might have no idea . Also, that may not even be their fault, often girls just get shy and act strange around guys they like . Do it sub-consciously. So, don't be angry at them until you talk to them about it. Hope this was helpful..

      Best of luck, ;)
      [CENTER][SIZE=2]Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year,
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    • Re: need friendship advicee!!

      I can imagine how annoying this must be for you, and apart from anything else, it's making you stressed and unhappy, which isn't something you want from your supposedly 'best' friends. It may be possoble that they're reacting in a natural way, but I don't know, I do think we're all in control of what we do, and there must be a hint of realisation somewhere, especially when they hit on someone you have openly said you like.

      Perhaps you need to sit and have a chat with them. Explain how it makes you feel, and what they do upsets you, and this is why, sort of thing. If they're anything like friends, they would understand. If nothing changes, and they still undermine you, and make you feel worthless, then they're not worth hanging out with. 5 years is a lot to lose, however, in 5 years, people change. And sometimes, as much as we want to cling onto friends that we have worked hard to keep, it's not possible. Because people do change, and as soon as it's not fun anymore, what's the point?

      Play things closer to your chest, don't be so open about things around them if that's what it takes, so you get chance to talk to the guys you like first. It's as if it's a power thing, you like someone, so they prove they can get them before you try. Which is silly really. But not uncommon. And more importantly, friends shouldn't do that.

      A final note, there's more to life and social events than going out, party and pulling. Perhaps you need a girly night, no guys involved, where you can just be your group of friends, and nothing more. Perhaps at the end of this, you will realise and understand if it's worth saving anymore, or if at the end of 5 years, they have changed, and turned into people you don't quite understand anymore.
      [SIZE=2]Aaron - [/SIZE][SIZE=2]Support Leader[/SIZE] :kiss:
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      Saradactyl;2086538 wrote:


      Haha, Aaron. I wuv youuuu.
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    • Re: need friendship advicee!!

      I've not been in such a condition, so might not understand the pain completely, However I completely do agree with Jasmine. You should go ahead and tell those two about what you are feeling, but yeah ensure them before telling that whatever you are going to tell, its just what you felt and not what actually might be (so that they take it easy). I personally feel, Friends are the treasure of life, They just be left due to such conditions.. :|