u need to like chill and be ur slef and not cut cause its well ignorent

I cant stand depressed people, move on, make new friends, people who understand who you really are.

I think you need to see your school counselor and ask for help. And yes, I agree, you should really just make new friends and meet people who will understand you, people who will help you when you need help.

Good luck

Let me start off saying that I have been cutting for nearly three years. Right at the moment I am trying to stop but not for myself. But for other people.

I was thirteen years old when I made my first cut. It was just a simple pocket knife and it wasn't a bad cut. It was more of a scratch. A scratch that I blamed on everything. A nail sticking out of the wall, my cat playing too rough with me, me falling down stairs and just about any excuse that you can think of. It was kept a secret from everyone. And I felt like I had to tell someone, anyone but for the longest time I kept it in because I fear rejection from people. I started off with popping my wrist and that didn't work. I continued to cut. I depended on it to make it through a day and it was completely sad when I had to hide things that were covered in old blood.

One day my mom found my knife in the bathroom under the sink. And she didn't understand nor did she want too. She broke a dish and put the glass to her wrist showing me what it was like to see someone slice their body to pieces. I went months and months without cutting. I had to because I was told I would be put away. Things got worse, worse than I would have expected. And once again, things got bad. I went from a pocket knife to safety pins and to bobby pins. Seriously, I thought I had it under control.

People thought I stopped cold turkey. And I did such a good job at hiding my cuts. They would be in places where you never would have guessed. I lied to please people but I was only pleasing myself. My mom knew I was cutting again and she took me to go get help. I was put on pills and I was talking to a random strange who only knew that I was a self harmer. She was only doing her job. In a few years I would be perfectly fine and she wouldn't need to talk to me about it. But I was wrong, so fucking wrong.


It went straight to razors. I glanced for the sight of one and kept one with me. I wore pants with safety pins on them. To people they were there for a fashion statement but I knew, I knew that deep down if shit got bad I would run to the bathroom and use that pin for something more than just a fashion statement. The help wasn't working. I stopped for a while and regained my common sense to slice more. And it didn't bother me if I lied to people and told them I stopped. As long as no one took my cutting away I was alive and fine. People would judge me, back away from me like I was a freak and they would call me names. But it was completely fine because I had my blade and it had me.

My friends that were cutters were stopping and I was falling more and more into the cutting trap. I was told by best friends that it would get bad and it did. It did pretty fast. And part of me wishes I would have listened to them. Because at the moment, I have gone 11 days without my blade and part of me wants to walk right out and cut myself.

I won't judge you. I simply can't do that to you. I would be doing it to myself if I did. And I won't tell you to stop, because that's not my place either. I will tell you that it does get worse and hope that you do believe me. I wasn't in it to kill myself. I was in it to feel pain and it made me feel so alive. It was like alcohol, it covered my problems up. And it was a release for me. And I bet it is the same for you. I am in your shoes and I have been for three years. I completely understand you, everything you say.

I just can not stress it enough about it getting bad. You might think that you are alone because at one point I did. I felt like I would never meet someone that enjoyed it as much as me. And I did. I met people that knew everything about it. And why they did it. People that don't cut won't understand so don't try to tell yourself that they will. You will only get your hopes up. I learned the hard way. And people will bash you. They will tell you to cut deeper, farther and more longer. I know. They will hate you for it. But most of all they will wonder. Wonder why you do it. But it won't matter to you. Because it's all you need.

You need help. Whether that's what you want to hear or not. You seriously need it. Because one cut becomes one hundred.

PM me if you need anything.

SuperXEmoNinja wrote:

I just can not stress it enough about it getting bad. You might think that you are alone because at one point I did. I felt like I would never meet someone that enjoyed it as much as me. And I did. I met people that knew everything about it. And why they did it. People that don't cut won't understand so don't try to tell yourself that they will. You will only get your hopes up. I learned the hard way. And people will bash you. They will tell you to cut deeper, farther and more longer. I know. They will hate you for it. But most of all they will wonder. Wonder why you do it. But it won't matter to you. Because it's all you need.
PM me if you need anything.

I can definently tell what you mean, ive never cut myself nor found the need or want to. I've been depressed before and not talked to hardly anyone in over a year. I don't understand why some people do it but dont be down about it. Its nothing for me to tell you what to do since i don't do it myself. All I'm saying is from my opinion, you need help.

Bradster21194 wrote:

I can definently tell what you mean, ive never cut myself nor found the need or want to. I've been depressed before and not talked to hardly anyone in over a year. I don't understand why some people do it but dont be down about it. Its nothing for me to tell you what to do since i don't do it myself. All I'm saying is from my opinion, you need help.

Are you attempting to bash me?

thats gotta be tough :[
i would agree with everyone else.
a true friend is there for you when you need them most.
they wouldn't walk away.
i suggest new friends, and as hard as it may be, talking to your parents and or a counselor.
you do need help, and the more you wait, the worse its gonna turn out.
good luck.

try to stay positive :]

SuperXEmoNinja wrote:

Are you attempting to bash me?

Ofcourse not! Please dont take this the wrong way, I have absolutely no idea what its like to cut myself. Just saying thats what I would do if i was.

Bradster21194 wrote:

Ofcourse not! Please dont take this the wrong way, I have absolutely no idea what its like to cut myself. Just saying thats what I would do if i was.

So maybe you shouldn't speak on the account of something you know nothing of. :]

SuperXEmoNinja wrote:

So maybe you shouldn't speak on the account of something you know nothing of. :]

Im sorry if I caused any trouble, hopefully we can work this out =/

Bradster21194 wrote:

Im sorry if I caused any trouble, hopefully we can work this out =/

You didn't cause trouble. I don't take what uninformed people say on the internet to heart. You shouldn't either.

I use to cut myself, I havent for about 9 months or so. I never did it for the common reasons that people generally think of. It wasnt to visualize the pain or to see if Im stil alive or some shit like that. I would first cut because I would get really upset, or my thoughts would become too much for me, and feeling the pain was a slight distraction, so then I could calm down. It worked suprisingly well.
Then it became addicing, I found myself trying to cut at school, or anywhere else for what I thought was no reason at all. It turned out, in retrospect, that it was because I had a stimulation filtering problem, so it was easy to get overwhelmed by sound or visual stimulation, or even my own thoughts, and when I felt myslef starting to get overwhelmed, I subconciously rememberd that cutting makes that go away.
I was good at hiding it, but a few people did find out. I was lucky, and my friends didnt judge me for it but urged me to stop. Eventually I decided to stop, not for my friends, but because I decided that I looked pathetic doing it (no offence ment, seriously. I just have alot of pride) and I still got the urge to cut, my arms would feel tingly and would itch, but after a few months of forcing myself not to cut, it went away.
Because of my filtration problem, I still have the urge to make something hurt so calm myself down, and still do sometimes under bad circumstances, but not with a razor or pocket knife like i use to.
You really just do have to get yourself out of the habbit of doing it. Thats all you can do. When something goes wrong, its really force of habbit that makes you cut because you know it will work. But there are other things that work too, I promise. What worked for me is just forcing myself to stop, it wont be easy, but you could seriously hurt yourself without intending to do so, and you wont regret stopping, I guarentee that.

You need help
n SuperXemoNinja i actually read the whole thing n its very well written

SuperXEmoNinja wrote:

Let me start off saying that I have been cutting for nearly three years. Right at the moment I am trying to stop but not for myself. But for other people.

I was thirteen years old when I made my first cut. It was just a simple pocket knife and it wasn't a bad cut. It was more of a scratch. A scratch that I blamed on everything. A nail sticking out of the wall, my cat playing too rough with me, me falling down stairs and just about any excuse that you can think of. It was kept a secret from everyone. And I felt like I had to tell someone, anyone but for the longest time I kept it in because I fear rejection from people. I started off with popping my wrist and that didn't work. I continued to cut. I depended on it to make it through a day and it was completely sad when I had to hide things that were covered in old blood.

One day my mom found my knife in the bathroom under the sink. And she didn't understand nor did she want too. She broke a dish and put the glass to her wrist showing me what it was like to see someone slice their body to pieces. I went months and months without cutting. I had to because I was told I would be put away. Things got worse, worse than I would have expected. And once again, things got bad. I went from a pocket knife to safety pins and to bobby pins. Seriously, I thought I had it under control.

People thought I stopped cold turkey. And I did such a good job at hiding my cuts. They would be in places where you never would have guessed. I lied to please people but I was only pleasing myself. My mom knew I was cutting again and she took me to go get help. I was put on pills and I was talking to a random strange who only knew that I was a self harmer. She was only doing her job. In a few years I would be perfectly fine and she wouldn't need to talk to me about it. But I was wrong, so fucking wrong.


It went straight to razors. I glanced for the sight of one and kept one with me. I wore pants with safety pins on them. To people they were there for a fashion statement but I knew, I knew that deep down if shit got bad I would run to the bathroom and use that pin for something more than just a fashion statement. The help wasn't working. I stopped for a while and regained my common sense to slice more. And it didn't bother me if I lied to people and told them I stopped. As long as no one took my cutting away I was alive and fine. People would judge me, back away from me like I was a freak and they would call me names. But it was completely fine because I had my blade and it had me.

My friends that were cutters were stopping and I was falling more and more into the cutting trap. I was told by best friends that it would get bad and it did. It did pretty fast. And part of me wishes I would have listened to them. Because at the moment, I have gone 11 days without my blade and part of me wants to walk right out and cut myself.

I won't judge you. I simply can't do that to you. I would be doing it to myself if I did. And I won't tell you to stop, because that's not my place either. I will tell you that it does get worse and hope that you do believe me. I wasn't in it to kill myself. I was in it to feel pain and it made me feel so alive. It was like alcohol, it covered my problems up. And it was a release for me. And I bet it is the same for you. I am in your shoes and I have been for three years. I completely understand you, everything you say.

I just can not stress it enough about it getting bad. You might think that you are alone because at one point I did. I felt like I would never meet someone that enjoyed it as much as me. And I did. I met people that knew everything about it. And why they did it. People that don't cut won't understand so don't try to tell yourself that they will. You will only get your hopes up. I learned the hard way. And people will bash you. They will tell you to cut deeper, farther and more longer. I know. They will hate you for it. But most of all they will wonder. Wonder why you do it. But it won't matter to you. Because it's all you need.

You need help. Whether that's what you want to hear or not. You seriously need it. Because one cut becomes one hundred.

PM me if you need anything.

Wow... i can relate to you so much and might i add you can write so well....