okay, so i have a problem and its real confusin ( for me) plz advise?

    • okay, so i have a problem and its real confusin ( for me) plz advise?

      I dunno whether this is the right place to put it or not. There are these two guys,... one i met along time ago i was in a bad place.. ( emotionally) and he was basicaly just after sex. I found his number a little over a month ago... and text him. He seems to have changed and really want a relationship.. we get on okay.. theres no major sparks.. but hes nice.. i would concider a relationship with him. He keeps saying stuff like i really like you.. i miss you ... texts me things like i need a hug.. and along with teh occasional dirty text. Now this was all good untill another guy came along. Who also knows this other guy who i text. we shall. call him dave. This new guy isnt good friends with dave but does talk to him occasionally. We get on great.. and we have loads of fun etc... and now hes telling me he cant stop thinkin bout me etc.. .. I feel really guilty becuase i know it will come back on me if i start showing back the same emotions. Even though i like him to. I dont know what to do about dave. ...

      This new guy and me were chatting not even just a few minutes ago.. things got heated and i was all up for it.. untill i remembrd dave and told him no. He then said ' OFF NOW' as in my top? i know he was just jokin.. but then that suddenly really triggerd me back to when i was sexually abused as a child.. n now iv just got this horribe feelin inside n have no idea wtf im supposed to do.

      I just want a relationship.. theres the rush n teh spark n all that i want with this new guy.. but i feel like id just be ditching dave and hurting him.. even though getting with him proberly isnt the best idea.

      Urgh just really confused. x
      I wish i had saved all the tears you made me cry, so i could drown you in them :)
    • Re: okay, so i have a problem and its real confusin ( for me) plz advise?

      This is a really sticky spot. And I don't know if I of all people am qualified to help, but I'll try. See, I'm a girl who follows her heart. It's as simple as, do you really like the first guy or not? If you went with him, could you forget about the past?
      I had a friend, we shall call her LeeAnn. See, she had a boyfriend she was totally in love with and they had gone out for about a year when she found out that all he really wanted was sex. She was heartbroken until she meet her next boyfriend. The new one helped her forget about the past and put the old one behind her.
      Or, you could take option C and bail on both of them. Take a little time for yourself, don't alienate yourself, but dont pledge yourself to anyone.
      I hope I've given a little help at least.
    • Re: okay, so i have a problem and its real confusin ( for me) plz advise?

      Always follow your heart and try to understand what it is saying.You should give some time yourself and think that whom do you love?If it is not Dave ,consider him as a good friend.Afterall,to find good friends is also very difficult.
    • Re: okay, so i have a problem and its real confusin ( for me) plz advise?

      This is a delicate thing, especially for those who were sexually abused. Anything that connotes sex might trigger painful memories. And guys are not exactly known for being subtle and sensitive. Friends would usually say "follow your heart" and most often, that would be the best thing to do. But what if even your heart is fooled? It would not hurt to spend more time with your guys and sort things out. Maybe both are not meant for you, maybe the right person is still waiting out there...