Constructive critism or positive feedback - song no. 2.

    • Constructive critism or positive feedback - song no. 2.


      He’s a part of my life



      I can’t live without him
      I can’t stop missing him
      I just wanna be with him
      And I don’t ever wanna fight
      I can’t help…
      That you came part of my life

      Sitting with him, through the warm summer nights

      Feeling the heat, when the sun shines so bright
      Hand in hand and on the beach

      Sitting upon our sandy seats
      He turns to me and says
      I love you and my heart beats
      (You’re my love)

      You took my hand and held it tight
      I’d like to get us through the night
      Our effortless talks and short walks
      All add up to something special
      When I’m with you I don’t want to go
      To someplace else for him to show

      Smiling through and through
      Spending my time with you
      Holding me, holding you

      It’s the way I want things to stay
      The eyes, I want to look through, all day
      The most beautiful colour in the whole bay

      Ah, I can’t help the way I love you

      How many other girls
      Would write a song for you
      I’d write a hundred more
      If it meant something to you
      Even just a fraction
      It’s all because I love you through

      And through (forever)

      I better finish this song
      Hoping we’re gonna get along
      Even better than before
      Now that you know
      Exactly how I feel
      I want you to tell me how you feel
      Just please, don't drop me










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      Feedback would be great! I don't normally rhyme lyrics, as I find this more difficult than them not rhyming. I understand it's difficult for you to judge because you don't have any chords, etc, but pretty soon I'm going to record some, as I know the actual chords - it's just a case of recording them!


      So thank you for reading, and feedback would be great (as mentioned above!)
      [CENTER][SIZE=4]- For the love ♥[/SIZE]

      :love1:
      [/CENTER]

      The post was edited 3 times, last by Chocolatte ().

    • Re: Constructive critism or positive feedback - song no. 2.

      I like it! Unlike some people on here, I can sing it in my head, so I don't mind that there's no recording with it XD
      [CENTER]
      [CENTER]The only angels we need invoke are those of our better nature; reason, honesty and love.
      The only demons we need fear are those that lurk inside every human mind; ignorance, hatred, greed, and faith.

      [/CENTER]

      [/CENTER]
    • Re: Constructive critism or positive feedback - song no. 2.

      ^^ yeh, but without actually having a melody and some accompaniment to show, It's really just a Poem, which you are turning into a song.

      Other then that the lyrics are good! nice job.
      [LEFT][COLOR="Black"]“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”[/COLOR][/LEFT]
      [COLOR="DarkRed"][RIGHT]Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore - Just chillin' out down here at Kings Cross Station y'all! It's a bit foggy though... what's up with that?[/RIGHT][/COLOR]
      [CENTER][/CENTER]