On the brink of becoming suicidal.

    • On the brink of becoming suicidal.

      I was abused by my elementary teachers, starting at age 6 or 7. My peers there taunted me and treated me like a monster. It was hell. I then was given an unsuspected chance when I was transfered to a middle school that accepted 6th graders. I was well-known and have many good friends. As I thrived, I was to transfer again because my district wanted me back into their hell. I had a choice though; go back to the cruel kids that moved up into middle school, or go to another unknown middle school in my district. I chose the unknown one, with expected results. Because of my shy, awkward personality, my peers (mostly my fellow girl peers) were able to stomp on me, the newbie. I tried so very much to get out of my shyness and make friends, but I'd just be pushed back into being a misfit. Later I was able to be friend a few girls, all turning out to be losers that used me and only wanted to come to me when their real pack wasn't around. I then befriended a boy in the same boat as me, but lost him to my high school transfer. I caught the eye of one dude, but he only stared shyly. Then in high school things only got worse. I lost all the good friends I made as well as some nasties on my move-up to high school. I even tried to make friends with my crush; he was friendly to me but enjoyed his inner circle and pretentious, paranoid girl more. I'm part of clubs but people are already cliqued up to be bothered with me. Their friendliness only lasts a minute, really. Most of my teachers are caring and helpful, but there's really ionly so much they can do. I still have trouble making friends. I have two pretty close friends, but I barely, barely ever see them. I've been trying to escape this teenager pain through my writing.
      I say I'm on the brink because there's a bit of me telling me to hold on. But I just don't know anymore...
      ...see me....feel me...touch me....heal me....
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Unicorn ().

    • Re: On the brink of becoming suicidal.

      stephaknee wrote:

      what grade are you in?

      10th.

      ---------- Post added at 08:28 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:26 AM ----------

      Stjowa wrote:

      Maybe the internet could help? Post and become more active on teenhut!

      Believe me I've been on plenty of sites. There helping a bit, but not really. They remain to be fun for me though.
      ...see me....feel me...touch me....heal me....
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    • Re: On the brink of becoming suicidal.

      I can't tell you much about how to better the situation, but I can say that being suicidal or attempting suicide only makes it worse.
      I have actually attempted it twice and it's something that I have to live with every day. Now that I've tried to change and want to live to see my future it hangs over my head, never letting me forget how low I once felt.
      All I can say is that there really are better ways to get through this. Just keep thinking about the future. Anything is possible...

      sorry this probably sounded really cheesy, but being suicidal only makes matters worse.
      hope I helped.

    • Re: On the brink of becoming suicidal.

      Highschool is really tough, I would suggest that you try and make friends outside of highschool. Maybe try and get a job.. or join something else outside of school. I can tell you this though, you will like college. It is so easy to make friends, there are no silly stereotypes. Not to mention if you go somewhere a bit further away from your hometown, you'll be faraway from all those people. It will be like a new start. If you kill yourself now, you will be denying yourself some of the best years of your life!
      [CENTER][FONT="Garamond"][COLOR="DarkRed"][SIZE="3"]Seduce&Destroy[/SIZE]
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      You're sure you still wanna play this evil lil game?      [/COLOR][/FONT][/CENTER]

    • Re: On the brink of becoming suicidal.

      That's what's got you "on the brink?" Are you serious?

      Stop wallowing in your own self pity for chrissake! Your parents aren't dead, you haven't lost your home, you just are too scared of what others think of you to do anything about becoming their friend.

      It may be hard for you to understand this, but most of the "popular kids" aren't the losers you want them to be. It's most often the shy student without the connections who has to find problems with everybody to justify why she can't fit in with them.

      You can fix this. You just need a little thing called confidence. Confidence and undying optimism. Walk into a situation with your head held high and if you get shot down for some reason, smile and walk away, leaving room for another encounter down the road.

      Teens are finicky sons of bitches. They find groups and stick with them. You have to be the one to break in and stay in. The best way to do that is to get some lucky alone time with one potential friend. If you are confident in such a situation, confident and kind, you'll most certainly gain at least an acquaintance if not a bfflomgforeverevers. Nowhere to go from there but up.

      You have all the skills needed to make the friends you want to make. Please don't ever let you catch yourself considering anything so pointlessly drastic. Nothing is worth that. And quite frankly, you insult those living with worse when you suggest such an extreme. We are managing just fine thank you. You should be doing much better.

      Go make some friends.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by NikAngelo ().

    • Re: On the brink of becoming suicidal.

      NikAngelo wrote:

      That's what's got you "on the brink?" Are you serious?

      Stop wallowing in your own self pity for chrissake! Your parents aren't dead, you haven't lost your home, you just are too scared of what others think of you to do anything about becoming their friend.

      It may be hard for you to understand this, but most of the "popular kids" aren't the losers you want them to be. It's most often the shy student without the connections who has to find problems with everybody to justify why she can't fit in with them.

      You can fix this. You just need a little thing called confidence. Confidence and undying optimism. Walk into a situation with your head held high and if you get shot down for some reason, smile and walk away, leaving room for another encounter down the road.

      Teens are finicky sons of bitches. They find groups and stick with them. You have to be the one to break in and stay in. The best way to do that is to get some lucky alone time with one potential friend. If you are confident in such a situation, confident and kind, you'll most certainly gain at least an acquaintance if not a bfflomgforeverevers. Nowhere to go from there but up.

      You have all the skills needed to make the friends you want to make. Please don't ever let you catch yourself considering anything so pointlessly drastic. Nothing is worth that. And quite frankly, you insult those living with less when you suggest such an extreme. We are managing just fine thank you. You should be doing much better.

      Go make some friends.

      How old are you.. chill out. There is no need for you to be so mean.
      [CENTER][FONT="Garamond"][COLOR="DarkRed"][SIZE="3"]Seduce&Destroy[/SIZE]
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      You're sure you still wanna play this evil lil game?      [/COLOR][/FONT][/CENTER]

    • Re: On the brink of becoming suicidal.

      If it's any consolation, I'd like to offer my email address as a token of friendship.


      nikangelo @ gmail.com

      (in case you have any further problems you would like a softer response to, or if you ever want to chat).

      I think this one on one time together has really brought us closer don't you?

      ---------- Post added at 11:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:02 PM ----------

      Saradactyl wrote:

      How old are you.. chill out. There is no need for you to be so mean.



      Would you like to be my friend as well? :)

    • Re: On the brink of becoming suicidal.

      NikAngelo wrote:

      If it's any consolation, I'd like to offer my email address as a token of friendship.


      nikangelo @ gmail.com

      (in case you have any further problems you would like a softer response to, or if you ever want to chat).

      I think this one on one time together has really brought us closer don't you?

      ---------- Post added at 11:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:02 PM ----------




      Would you like to be my friend as well? :)

      I have no objections to making new friends. I just honestly wish you wouldn't put down the other members like that when they are obviously seeking help.
      [CENTER][FONT="Garamond"][COLOR="DarkRed"][SIZE="3"]Seduce&Destroy[/SIZE]
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      You're sure you still wanna play this evil lil game?      [/COLOR][/FONT][/CENTER]

    • Re: On the brink of becoming suicidal.

      NikAngelo wrote:

      Can the plaintiff site precedent?

      I guess what that means is, reread my post. Please tell me exactly where I was not helping.


      No, I mean.. I'm not trying to be hostile.. I just wish you weren't so harsh towards the beginning. Somethings upset people more than others. It may seem small to you, but it is a big deal to others. The other part of your post was indeed helpful, but you need to take the poster's feelings into consideration.
      [CENTER][FONT="Garamond"][COLOR="DarkRed"][SIZE="3"]Seduce&Destroy[/SIZE]
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      You're sure you still wanna play this evil lil game?      [/COLOR][/FONT][/CENTER]

    • Re: On the brink of becoming suicidal.

      If you ever want to chat Marissa I'll be here for awhile.

      ---------- Post added at 11:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:27 PM ----------

      I believe feelings come second to actual results. If Marissa takes my advice regardless of how curt I was and it works, will she still be angry that I was curt?

      Of course I can't be sure Marissa, maybe you would be.

      My point is that help and kindness don't always go hand in hand. In fact, they are often conflicting. Antithetical even. People need to learn to see the substance behind the emotion. Emotion is misleading.

    • Re: On the brink of becoming suicidal.

      NikAngelo wrote:

      If you ever want to chat Marissa I'll be here for awhile.

      ---------- Post added at 11:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:27 PM ----------

      I believe feelings come second to actual results. If Marissa takes my advice regardless of how curt I was and it works, will she still be angry that I was curt?

      Of course I can't be sure Marissa, maybe you would be.

      My point is that help and kindness don't always go hand in hand. In fact, they are often conflicting. Antithetical even. People need to learn to see the substance behind the emotion. Emotion is misleading.


      You are right, sometimes the "tough love" approach works for some people. The keyword is SOME though, other times all it does is worsen the situation. It really all depends on personality type.. which I am not really willing to risk.
      Logic also in a lot of cases is better than emotions, but some people run on emotion.. which will sometimes cloud logic and reasoning.
      As for this debate, I will not mind having it elsewhere.. but not in here. I would rather not let the converstation in this thread stray any further away from the original post. Feel free to continue this in pm, visitor messaging, or msn.
      [CENTER][FONT="Garamond"][COLOR="DarkRed"][SIZE="3"]Seduce&Destroy[/SIZE]
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      You're sure you still wanna play this evil lil game?      [/COLOR][/FONT][/CENTER]

    • Re: On the brink of becoming suicidal.

      Well of course. I do not intend to debate here either.

      Personality types be damned. If your personality type sets you up to be miserable what better way to make you happy than to have someone show you that you can change yourself?

      Good night Marissa. I hope what I've written here tonight has helped as I intended.