My friend..

Medicate · Jul 18th 2009, 10:45pm

The other day my friends mum died of cancer. I feel so sad for her because her dad died 5 years ago and now she has no parents. I'm going to the funeral on wednesday but I text her first to ask if there's anything i should bring. She said no but she'll come see me later on. So anyway I bought her this wall hanging that has faith with angel wings written on it and a sympathy card and gave it to her when she came. I didn't know what to expect because well, her mum just died but the weird thing is, she acted JUST like she would usually. She talked about her mums death like it happened 10 years ago. We laughed and talked about all sorts of random crap. Yet her mum died like a day ago O_O..

I don't get it, she's christian, do you think it has anything to do with that? Or the fact that they expected their mum to die and it was a relief that she let go? I'm confused and wondering whether she might be hiding her grief or just doesn't feel any.

Cyph3r · Jul 18th 2009, 10:56pm

well some people like joke around and stuff to deal with a loss of a friend/family member, it's like their way of mourning someones death

ZZ 5 · Jul 18th 2009, 11:19pm

People react differently, if it's her way of dealin with it, respect it.
Just offer your support and guidance and hopefully she should make it through this troubled time.
Poor thing :(

Budsmoka · Jul 18th 2009, 11:23pm

When some dies of a terminal disease most times the family and the person have already accept the worst and when it comes time for them to die if anything its a relief.

idk2008 · Jul 19th 2009, 12:47am

Give your friend some space. She is having to sort out her entire life right now. Being there for her is enough. Sometimes she will need someone to listen, and sometimes she might need somebody to cry with. But, don't smother her.

Give her a hug from me. Hugs are always nice.

High Pitched · Jul 19th 2009, 1:29am

shite

well, its probably a form of coping. I know somebody who's had a horrible life, but laughs about it all the time. I guess it isn't as bad then. I wouldn't know.

Unicorn · Jul 19th 2009, 2:48am

idk2008 wrote:

Give your friend some space. She is having to sort out her entire life right now. Being there for her is enough. Sometimes she will need someone to listen, and sometimes she might need somebody to cry with. But, don't smother her.

Give her a hug from me. Hugs are always nice.

Agreed.
Also, many people react to death differently. Some happy and laughing and remembering good times in a positive light...some sad and feeling depressed despite the wonderful memories.
Give her a big hug for me.

SimpleGirl. · Jul 19th 2009, 11:39am

Medicate wrote:

I don't get it, she's christian, do you think it has anything to do with that? Or the fact that they expected their mum to die and it was a relief that she let go? I'm confused and wondering whether she might be hiding her grief or just doesn't feel any.

People handle grief differently. Some laugh then cry, some cry then laugh, some just completely blank it all out and head into denile and others take it all face on. It varies; to say the least.

Your friend is just handling it the way she wants or the way she only knows how. Maybe she does not feel grief as of now, but eventually it will come and she will begin to mourn her loss. Whatever happens; just keep doing what you are. If she needs you, be there - if she wants space, give her it. Know what I mean?

Take care and I'm sorry about your friends loss.

I Promise · Jul 20th 2009, 5:51pm

That is very sad news.

Everyone deals with loss differently. I remember, when someone died in the family, some of us were upset right from the start and it felt like we were crying for weeks. And others seemed totally normal, they were handling all the arrangements and not one tear.

Day of the funeral came, everyone was sad, again, a couple of people were normal, nothing at all. After the funeral, everyone had home home, it was just close family there, and they burst. And it was scary, because I have never seen anyone get so sad before. It took over a week to kick in. But it came eventually.

Your friend is being brave, using her religion to get through it, no doubt. But it will 'hit her' at some point, it's inevitable. So, just be there for her when she needs you.

Medicate · Jul 21st 2009, 10:16pm

Thanks guys, the funeral is today so lets see how this goes..

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idk2008 wrote:

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Medicate wrote:

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Saradactyl;2086538 wrote:

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