Boyfriend troubles...please help :(

    • Boyfriend troubles...please help :(

      Ok so, I have this amazing sweet guy that reall likes me...we've dated before (last year) and I have loved him ever since. Our last relationship ended because he thought I cheated which I didn't but it's okay now and we'e always liked each other. His name is John and he is wonderful...but there's one thing.

      I cannot stand people who smoke, it's so gross and unhealthy. He smoked last year before we started dating...I told him if he smoked I wouldn't date him so he quit and we dated,everything was fine. well after we broke up he was really sad and started smoking again. Not on a regular basis, just every now and then he says.

      Well now that we're about to date again he tells me his parents are having major problems (about to get a divorce) so he has been somewhat depressed and that he may have to have a smoke every now and then to help him feel better. I told him it's not the answer to his problems and he said i know but still i can't promise you I won't smoke sometimes.

      What do I do? What should I tell him? I feel that because he's so sad about his parents I shouldn't tell him what to do about the situation, ughh any suggestins??? I'm so frustrated! I love this boy :confused:
      [SIZE=3]1Corinthians 13:4-8[/SIZE]

    • Re: Boyfriend troubles...please help :(

      Well... I'd hate a smoking boyfriend as well but I guess everyone has to make sacfrices and I mean- if he's going through a hard time then I get it... the only person who will make him quit is him so really you have to decide if him not smoking or being with him is the most important thing IMO.

      But be there for him regardless, even if it isn't as a gf because he'll remember it and maybe you'll become his coping device instead of smoking

    • Re: Boyfriend troubles...please help :(

      What do I do? What should I tell him? I feel that because he's so sad about his parents I shouldn't tell him what to do about the situation, ughh any suggestins??? I'm so frustrated! I love this boy :confused:


      If you sincerely love him then you have to understand that loving someone, means you have to accept and learn to cope with there faults. You hate the idea that he smokes, and he says that he needs to once in a while especially since its a reliever for his parents divorce. You need to measure out how much smoking bothers you vs. how much you wanna be with him. It seems like he knows where you stand and that's awesome because your sticking to what you believe. Now its all about compromise and figuring out things he can do to get his mind off his parents divorce that don't involve smoking. I know you two can work it out :) Goodluck!

    • Re: Boyfriend troubles...please help :(

      rachel_freshman09 wrote:

      I love this boy :confused:

      If you are prepared to breakup with him because he has a smoke every one in a while, you clearly don't love him. If you really did love him you would respect that at least he warned you. A lot of people would of smoked behind your back and would of lied about it.

      What I suggest is that you give him as much love as possible and help him though this, parents getting divorced is not a small deal, it could be very hard for him. He needs you the most to know you're there for him. Then over time I would suggest that you tell him he should stop and you don't like it, and he should quit for you.

      He needs you the most right now, to let him know you're be there for him.