Am I overeacting?

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    • Am I overeacting?

      I have just got a new boyfriend and we went to Thorpe park (with our best mates) and then had an amazing sleepover. I am 13 so I could just be overeacting, but yeh. At the sleepover we played spin the bottle, and me and my new boyfriend kissed for the first time. We added fun rules like Different sex 2 seconds kiss, same sex 1 second and bf and gf 3 seconds, then 4 (next time) then 5.. e.t.c. We got all the way to like 24, so I had to kiss him for 24 seconds. It was quite nice. But weird cuz it was just silent and people were watching xD. But the day after (now) I'm still at my mates house but everyone else has gone home, we are both on msn but he doesn't know I'm still at her house (there are 2 laptops). He is a very flirty boy and I understand that, so I'm ok when he is like that with my friends. But out of the blue, about half an hour ago, he told my best friend she was a really good kisser. I got very jealous and a bit annoyed, as it was only like a peck with them, a couple of times, but a long kiss with me, quite alot. I then admitted to him I was at his house, and he immediatly said to her Izzie is an amazing kisser. I think (I might be assuming) that he only said that because I said I was there. He then said, shes so nice NOW FUCKING COVER THE SCREEN, he then did loads of spaces to cover up what he said before I could see. My best friend (being my true best friend!) said she was at the other side of the room, but wasnt. He then went on to say "I hope I dont have to crouch down if i want to kiss her" (im really short) he then said if he was single he would date her and such. Just now as I'm typing her said that he was thinking, and she said, what about, then said ME as a joke, and he said, yeah, who knows, we could be together in 5 years!

      I'm really bummed out lol but I might be overreacting... am I?
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    • Re: Am I overeacting?

      I don't think you're overreacting. I think your new boyfriend is acting like he's single. He's telling your friend she's a good kisser and saying he wants to date her. Then he leaves you in the dust by saying that maybe you two will date in the future. I would call him out on that. Say something like, "You seem to be more interested in my friend. Do you really want to date me?"
      It's not fair to you when your guy is totally disrespecting you. Boys at this age are usually immature. It sounds like he's not ready to settle, so let that be. Move on if he refuses to commit to just you. There will probably be many more guys in your life.
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    • Re: Am I overeacting?

      No, you aren't overreacting.

      To me it sounds very clear that he has a thing for your friend. he tries to pass it off as a joke, but that's most of what flirting is about: it's a way to show the way you feel about someone without going right out and telling them. i'm glad that you have such a good friend that's looking out for you, a lot of others wouldn't have told you what he's doing.

      You sound very mature for 13, and he doesn't sound mature at all. that's not unusual, I don't think that guys really catch up to girls maturity until the very late teens. (my boyfriend hasn't caught up yet and we are 17 :D ) i'm not saying that he's consciously being flirty, but it's fair to say that he's not as serious about you as you are about him.

      I'd say, if you don't mind that your relationship is more casual than you'd like, stay with him. if you want someone who is going to be committed to you, look somewhere else. But remember, you are only 13, you SHOULDN'T be in a committed relationship yet, you should just be having fun. I wasn't even allowed to date until I was 15. :)

    • Re: Am I overeacting?

      To me, your boyfriend sounds like an ass. He's assuming that your friend is going to fall for him and not tell you anything that's going on. But, he's 13, he's supposed to be an immature ass. I see nothing wrong with staying with him, just as long as you know what you are in for. As Jenna said above, he's not as committed to you as you are to him. That's something you just have to deal with.



      Jenna wrote:

      (my boyfriend hasn't caught up yet and we are 17 :D )


      :p

      Shute;2172895 wrote:

      You are in the classic suck position.

    • Re: Am I overeacting?

      Jenna wrote:

      No, you aren't overreacting.

      To me it sounds very clear that he has a thing for your friend. he tries to pass it off as a joke, but that's most of what flirting is about: it's a way to show the way you feel about someone without going right out and telling them. i'm glad that you have such a good friend that's looking out for you, a lot of others wouldn't have told you what he's doing.

      You sound very mature for 13, and he doesn't sound mature at all. that's not unusual, I don't think that guys really catch up to girls maturity until the very late teens. (my boyfriend hasn't caught up yet and we are 17 :D ) i'm not saying that he's consciously being flirty, but it's fair to say that he's not as serious about you as you are about him.

      I'd say, if you don't mind that your relationship is more casual than you'd like, stay with him. if you want someone who is going to be committed to you, look somewhere else. But remember, you are only 13, you SHOULDN'T be in a committed relationship yet, you should just be having fun. I wasn't even allowed to date until I was 15. :)


      Thanks :)
      I guess I'm a little caught up in commitment, I have had a bf most my life (7 years of it) and We were practically in love with eachother, but then I never saw him and we had to move schools (high school)
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    • Re: Am I overeacting?

      But, the other problem is, before he said "much" I swore not to say anything as long as she would share it with me
      We shook that if she showed me wht he said I cant tell him. I want to do something about it but what shoud I do
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    • Re: Am I overeacting?

      Izzie :) wrote:

      But, the other problem is, before he said "much" I swore not to say anything as long as she would share it with me
      We shook that if she showed me wht he said I cant tell him. I want to do something about it but what shoud I do



      What would be the purpose of confronting him on it?

      I don't see one. you want to get angry at him for flirting with your friend, but will it accomplish anything?

      Probably not.

      You know what this guy's all about, that's the important thing. If you decided to break up over it, then he doesn't need to know the exact reason, and I get the idea that he won't care much anyway. If you decide to stay with him, then at least you know what to watch out for and expect. You want a confrontation just because you are pissed off, but there won't be anything accomplished by it.

    • Re: Am I overeacting?

      Jenna wrote:

      What would be the purpose of confronting him on it?

      I don't see one. you want to get angry at him for flirting with your friend, but will it accomplish anything?

      Probably not.

      You know what this guy's all about, that's the important thing. If you decided to break up over it, then he doesn't need to know the exact reason, and I get the idea that he won't care much anyway. If you decide to stay with him, then at least you know what to watch out for and expect. You want a confrontation just because you are pissed off, but there won't be anything accomplished by it.


      I don't want to get angry at him in person, just tell him I know what he didn't want me to see. But I cant. I want to carry on the relationship, sorta. He does it a lot even though I told him sometimes it makes me a bit jealous. Like he did it before and I saw and I said something and he was like.. Ohh.. Sorry dear or something along those lines then when I say thats ok try not to do it I get jealous he does it again :(
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    • Re: Am I overeacting?

      Izzie :) wrote:

      I don't want to get angry at him in person, just tell him I know what he didn't want me to see. But I cant. I want to carry on the relationship, sorta. He does it a lot even though I told him sometimes it makes me a bit jealous. Like he did it before and I saw and I said something and he was like.. Ohh.. Sorry dear or something along those lines then when I say thats ok try not to do it I get jealous he does it again :(


      What you really need to do is decide if this is the right person for you. he knows the way you feel and keeps doing this anyway, so we know that you aren't going to stop him from doing it, whether it makes you upset or not. that lack of respect would really both me. I don't think that he deserves you and there's someone out there better for you who is going to be more committed than he is.

    • Re: Am I overeacting?

      Izzie :) wrote:

      Thanks :)
      I guess I'm a little caught up in commitment, I have had a bf most my life (7 years of it) and We were practically in love with eachother, but then I never saw him and we had to move schools (high school)


      I'm sorry ... what? You're 13, right?

      Slow down, you're too young :P
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    • Re: Am I overeacting?

      Okay, Ill try, but what should I do about this situation?
      Because he is too sweet for me to shout at him or say anything harsh or like break it up :(
      he likes someone else so why is he dating ME ?! :(
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    • Re: Am I overeacting?

      Izzie :) wrote:

      Okay, Ill try, but what should I do about this situation?
      Because he is too sweet for me to shout at him or say anything harsh or like break it up :(
      he likes someone else so why is he dating ME ?! :(


      Okay, here's the short answer :)

      Look at the post above yours, see that guy? he's my boyfriend. does having him as my boyfriend mean that i don't walk down the street and look at someone and think "that guy's cute"? Of course not, that's just how we work, but the thing is that i don't act on that thought. sure, that guy's cute, but i have a guy waiting for me who's cuter, nicer, smarter and loves the holy heck out of me.

      That's called maturity. it's being able to control your instincts and do what's best for you and others. your boyfriend doesn't have that maturity, and a lot of it has to do with his age. i'm sure that he absolutely adores you, that's why he's your boyfriend. the problem is that he also like your friend, and who knows how many others. being committed requires some level of maturity, and you aren't going to find that with him... at least not for a few years.