Advice Please

    • Advice Please

      Hey, This is a bit tedious, you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

      I'm a bit confused at the moment. I'm a 17yo guy, and over the last few months I've been particularly ill, and I'm just getting better again now.

      I've got a friend, let's call her Amy, she's 15, a year and a bit younger than me, but that's never been an issue! We got on really well, I met her in school, but since being ill I've only communicated with her via MSN because I've been stuck at home.

      Quite simply, we were never best friends, we would sometimes chat a lot, and because she doesn't know any of my best friends, I find I can be really honest with her. Since being ill, she's probably the person I've chatted with the most, just because she's been on MSN and the rest of my friends haven't because of school stuff becoming quite intense, she's younger so it don't affect her.

      Anyway, over the last couple of weeks, I've started chatting with her a lot, she could be on for hours at a time, and as far as I can see, we are getting on fine.

      Quite frankly, she's lovely! I love chatting with her!

      Last Thursday, I went back to my Doctor (I have to travel a long way to see a specialist), for him to give me the all clear (Yipeee), and she went to school to get her exam results. I wondered how she'd done so I sent her an e-mail from my iPhone, just saying good luck, and that I hope she gets the results she deserves.

      Anyway, she never replied, she hasn't come online since. I know this by itself doesn't mean much, and I'd just ignored this. I found her on Facebook last night, and added her as a friend, only for her to have declined me by this morning, so she's obviously going online.

      Quite simply, I feel like I'm being treated as if I've offended her, but I really don't think I have. If I have, I really didn't mean to. The fact is that I didn't know her much offline, so I haven't got any real way of communicating with her and trying to find out what is wrong.

      Any ideas? I just want her as a friend, I can understand if she felt like I was hassling her, it's what happens when I've been stuck at home ill for nearly six months with MSN being my only contact with almost anyone! (It would be even better to take things further, but I'm very sure she doesn't like me in that way, so I'll avoid it at all costs to save overcomplicating things!).

      I totally lost another friend, a girl a little bit older than her, in circumstances just like these, and never found out why. I did wonder if it was someone else's doing, but I've never been able to prove it.

      I'm worried about doing anything, because if I do, then I'm worried it will make things worse, I'm just not sure what I can do. Any ideas would be much appreciated!

    • Re: Advice Please

      Something obviously happened. There's no way she just randomly decided that she didn't want to talk to you anymore, some outside force was responsible. Maybe she just took something in that last message you sent her completely out of context and this is just one big misunderstanding. Maybe it was someone else's doing, there are so many possible explanations and you are never going to find out the correct one unless she starts talking to you again.

      Even if she isn't acknowledging your communication, it's a pretty safe bet that she's still reading them. The only thing you really have open for you to do is just tell her the way you feel and ask her to let you know what happened. Send it to her in an email and give her a few days to respond to you, it might take that long if she is really upset about something. If she doesn't respond in that long, try it one more time. If she doesn't respond after that, it sucks, but I think you might need to consider moving on.

      Do you have any mutual friends that might be able to get some information for you?

    • Re: Advice Please

      What I'm wondering is if she thought that you were mad at her when you sent the message about her exams.

      "I hope you get the results you deserve" sounds a little spiteful to me, out of context, and she might have taken it the same way.

      I'd try to send another message to her apologizing for offending her (just in case), and try to find out what's wrong.
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    • Re: Advice Please

      Jenna wrote:

      Something obviously happened. There's no way she just randomly decided that she didn't want to talk to you anymore, some outside force was responsible. Maybe she just took something in that last message you sent her completely out of context and this is just one big misunderstanding. Maybe it was someone else's doing, there are so many possible explanations and you are never going to find out the correct one unless she starts talking to you again.

      Even if she isn't acknowledging your communication, it's a pretty safe bet that she's still reading them. The only thing you really have open for you to do is just tell her the way you feel and ask her to let you know what happened. Send it to her in an email and give her a few days to respond to you, it might take that long if she is really upset about something. If she doesn't respond in that long, try it one more time. If she doesn't respond after that, it sucks, but I think you might need to consider moving on.

      Do you have any mutual friends that might be able to get some information for you?



      this is very good advice
      we all got troubles, we all got pain, we try to hang onto love, try to keep it the same, we all got issues, i put mine in my songs, sometimes im not fine but im carrying on

    • Re: Advice Please

      hmm, that is really odd. I am wondering why she could go from talking to you for hours on end to just not talking to you at all. It's strange, to say the least. I think the possibility of the last text you sent offending her is possible, but I don't know, you said good luck and everything, so it would have to be someone very insecure to take offence at that.

      She must be using Facebook if she's declined you, so I would send her a message and just say that you're unsure why she hasn't talked to you for a while, or accepted your friend invitation, you don't think you have said anything to upset her, and if you have, you're sorry and you certainly didn't mean it. And then see what happens. If she does reply, you might get an idea of what she's thinking, and if she doesn't, then you have to assume she doesn't want to talk to you any more. And I know it would be annoying, and frustrating as you won't know why. But you can't force her to tell you, sadly.

      If the latter happens, all you can do is walk away and assume she's probably got a new boyfriend, and he's asking her to not talk to any other guys or something
      [SIZE=2]Aaron - [/SIZE][SIZE=2]Support Leader[/SIZE] :kiss:
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      Haha, Aaron. I wuv youuuu.
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