Biggg Mistake!

    • Biggg Mistake!

      Sorry if it is long, I really need to get these things off my chest.

      Well I recently got into a relationship with this guy, I thought he was sweet and cool. But the thing is I used to like his best friends, and I think I still do. Me and his best friend had a lot of history and stuff. And me and my boyfriend were talking on the phone, and he called his best friend. We were all talking at once.


      So they were just talking, and things got awkward. ( For me) They started saying all this stuff to me, like " Are you fridget?" and "how big are your boobs" And than stuff like rape. When we were talking, and stuff I learned so much about both of them he turned out to be the person that I didnt want to get in a relationship! But I still like his friend )= The thing that really "shocked" me was when he said,
      " Haha remember my ex Naomi? how we tried to rape her?"
      And it got more awkward and stuff only for me. They started talking about doing weed? Sneaking out at 1 am.

      2nd Part;

      (About his best friend)

      His best friend and I flirt sometimes.. And he told me who he liked, and that kinda hurt me. And I guess the only reason I really went out with the other guy is to get closer to his friend. )= I feel horrible.


      I think I made a huggeee mistake going out with this guy! I dont want to just end the relationship and hurt him, and I dont want his friend thinking im really low and shallow. I dont know what to do. Cause he invited me to his house, but I'm to scared to go cause I'm not sure whats going to happen!.

      Please help me )=      :confused::confused:

    • Re: Biggg Mistake!

      Hi :)
      You just have to trust your instincts. Most of the time in life you have to consider other people's feelings, but you have to remember that very occasionally, there are times when you need to forget about them for a little while, and think about yourself.

      Personally I don't think you should be with either of them, but that's beside the point. You need to concentrate on what you want - you don't want to be with your current boyfriend, and (and rightly so), you're concerned about what kind of person he is. He's obviously not the kind of person you want to be with, and that's what is important here, so you should break up with him.

      If you still feel, after doing this, that you want to be with his friend, then you should leave it a month or two before starting a relationship with him. He wouldn't openly admit to you that he likes you, but if he flirts with you then that makes it obvious enough that he does actually like you...so give it a shot :)

      Good luck.

      ~Tenris
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    • Re: Biggg Mistake!

      if you keep at a relationship just because you dont want to hurt him your only going to hurt him more

      just if you do break up with him, make sure he knows the real reasons why, coz it hurts like hell if you dont tell them
      we all got troubles, we all got pain, we try to hang onto love, try to keep it the same, we all got issues, i put mine in my songs, sometimes im not fine but im carrying on

    • Re: Biggg Mistake!

      It's not shallow to change your mind about someone. You can date someone, based on what you know about them. And then , if it turns out you don't like them as much as you thought you did, .after finding out some things, then you can change your mind. As Ben said, just make sure you do explain that you're breaking up with him because you don't think you have a lot in common and you're sorry, but it's not really his fault, just the way you feel.

      As for his friend, well, I would be careful with that as well, as Chris said. When they talked about trying to rape the ex girlfriend, they said 'we' as in both of them, so he can't be much better than your boyfriend in that regard. And I think the weed comment was plural as well, so that would be in the same class too. Sometimes, it's weird, but someone seems more attractive and a better option when you're with someone and can't have them. And then, if you did have them, it wouldn't seem to exotic as it does now, and you'd wonder why you bothered. Plus, if it's your boyfriends friend, how awkward would that be? The chances are, out of loyalty, he probably wouldn't date you anyway, due to the fact he's probably lose his friend.

      I don't think, to sum up, you would be shallow to change your mind. And from what you have said, it does sound like you would be making the right decision. Unless he was just showing off or something, who knows? I don't know them well, so I can only go by what you have said. Maybe you should either talk to him, and tell him why you got upset, and see what he says, if he will change or say sorry for being silly in talking about what he did. Or you could just decide to end things now, and walk away from both of them, and find someone who isn't going to do drugs, or potentially rape you, and someone who really likes you for you.
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    • Re: Biggg Mistake!

      Tenris wrote:

      Hi :)
      You just have to trust your instincts. Most of the time in life you have to consider other people's feelings, but you have to remember that very occasionally, there are times when you need to forget about them for a little while, and think about yourself.

      Personally I don't think you should be with either of them, but that's beside the point. You need to concentrate on what you want - you don't want to be with your current boyfriend, and (and rightly so), you're concerned about what kind of person he is. He's obviously not the kind of person you want to be with, and that's what is important here, so you should break up with him.

      If you still feel, after doing this, that you want to be with his friend, then you should leave it a month or two before starting a relationship with him. He wouldn't openly admit to you that he likes you, but if he flirts with you then that makes it obvious enough that he does actually like you...so give it a shot :)

      Good luck.

      ~Tenris



      I agree with Tenris.

      If you want to make it easier, tell your bf that you're breaking up with him because it makes you uncomfortable that he did weed (I'm assuming that's what he said?) and that he tried to rape a girl, and you don't want to be in an uncomfortable relationship.
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