Jon, I didn't even know you're bi. But yeah, you're right. I think some people just have a generally easier time with stuff like these than others.

I'm actually wondering that too Jon. Except I've only accepted my bi-ness 9 months ago. I know nobody would really care, but it's still hard to do.

Then again, my sexuality hasn't come up in conversation since then either O.o
I guess if it does I'll just say it as it is.

I knew you would ask this. For me I've only told my two closest bestfriends that are girls. I haven't really told my close guy friends and don't plan on it. I go to a small school while the two girls go to a big school and know some of the gay/bi guys even though they are straight. But yeah I find guys through them kinda. I still have never had a bf/gf so finding them is only half the work. I find them semi easily but actually making contact and setting up a date or something is the hard part since we can only talk through txts, myspace, ect. I don't get to see them everyday and I'm 10x more charming in person than through typed words. Haha. I also don't plan on telling my parents and I know my mom wouldn't care either. Lol

So basically I meet them through friends. Sorta.

Jon, I haven't put a poster on my door saying " Turn On Your Gaydar," and I am amazed to hear young teens say they are 'out' to everyone. I think one of my sisters has it figured out. My grandmother seems to know, although nobody has ever said anything to me about it.

I guess if someone in the family asked me directly if I were gay, I would tell them. A few of my friends know (the GAY ones, lol), and one or two suspect. But, all is good with them too. But, I am not 'out' to any extent.

JCpatriots wrote:

So many of the threads in here I see, the people who post in them have already come out to a million people, everyone knows they're gay/bi (and no one seems to care, it seems), and you always seem to know how to get people to admit they're gay, or always seem to know who is gay and can find people relatively easy. My question is...err, how are you able to do all of this so easily?

It took me 3 years (after I accepted being bisexual) to tell my mom, and I KNEW she wouldn't care. It was still extremely hard for me to do. Three years. I still haven't told any of my close friends, nor anyone else in my family who seem homophobic, and I really don't know anyone who is gay/bi. How do you guys do it? :p

Maybe I'm overexaggerating, but it seems to be a popular theme of posts on here lately, and I dunno.

It's just luck most of the time, coupled with what area you you live in and the attitudes there. I used to know a gay guy whose parents were completely supportive, and then another guy who came out of the closet to his Catholic parents and they immediately kicked him out of their house.

I may be "out" on TeenHut, but I'm NEVER coming out IRL, and that's something that I accepted a long time ago. It's not anyone else's business really, unless I decide to tell them. In the past I've only said "Hey, I'm bi!" to people that I was getting ready/hoping to screw, because they're the only ones who'd really find such info relevant.

it was opposite for me. It took me a long time to come open about it, but i'll literally tell anyone now.

Don't worry Jon I feel the same way... I'm bi too and I'm not out to anyone. It seems that everyone who comes on here posts threads of how they were at a party or something and it was so easy for them to get together with a guy. Honestly idk how they do it. Is there like a button to lick or something? =/

I'm out to some people. And finding guys isn't hard I don't think. It's constantly staying in contact and trying to develop something through text or myspace which is hard because if you rnot physically around them its very impersonal and yeah. Lol I'm upset about this whole thing too. I want a bf SOOO bad but no luck after I've been actively looking. It's frustrating!

I am bi and I'm not out to anyone.It's a pretty big deal for some ppl.And it is definitely big deal for me too.I can't just drop it like ..."hi,how are u?Oh btw i'm bi" .. its hard.And i don't know anyone who is bi or gay..so for now it's my little secret.

For me, everyone (peers mainly) knows that I'm gay just because off my mannerisms, the way I talk etc. I have never had to 'come out' by classical definition in school as it hasn't often been a question (though, there are a few girls who develop crushes on me, it breaks my heart to tell them.) I feel blessed and cursed at the same time. I live in a fairly conservative (for the most part) community, so although I don't have to make my orientation known to people, I still receive a LOT of flack because of it.
Now, on the other hand I don't feel that I will ever be able to tell my family. I am my father's only biological son and have had to bear the burden of "continuing the family name". I can't tell him. I know it's probably not healthy to keep such a big part of my life from him, but I really feel like in the instance, ignorance is bliss.

I can often tell people are gay by 'gaydar', I have it nearly fine-tuned to perfection, I know that it sounds lame, but I really feel like a can pick 'em out of a crowd, so to speak.

I wish you much good luck in your path of revealing your sexuality to others.

I haven't told anyone but my best friend, I'm sure my mother wouldn't take it well, she is one of those bible waving people, and she often uses the bible against me...

I got lucky. The guy I experimented with was the first I told and then after that one of my best friends told me she was bi so less than a week later I told her. Then to come out to the rest of the school I just changed my orientation on myspace. Someone noticed it less than a week later and everyone knew within a few days. I found it much easier to talk about when everyone just kinda found out rather than having me actually tell them. Then my parents' coworkers stumbled across my myspace and that's how my parents found out lol. I got in more trouble for having the myspace. My parents don't have any problems with my gayness. (I wasn't allowed to myspace back then) So basically when I just put it out there where people could see if they really tried rather than just telling people, it made it way easier.

I did exactly what Avacraft did, i changed my myspace. Partially because it;s hard to tell the 2,500 kids in my school ANND like he said it's easier to talk about if someone just brings it up. It helps if you start telling friends... I told upwards of 20 before i was completely open about it... The more people you tell the easier, and when you get sick of being closeted (if you do) like i did than it's easy and you quit caring.

JCpatriots wrote:

See, I've done that as well. I guess I'm not popular and whatnot, and don't have many friends, but I've changed my Myspace and Facebook to bisexual. Nothing's happened, lol.

Ouch. :p

Oh well...who cares about all them...you still haven't come to visit me yet. :wink:

JC you should just scream your true feelings to random people. I mean random as in people you dont even know. Go to Boston (since you live close) and shout it in the streets that you are bisexual.... Boston might not be the place because there might be hate groups and stuff but find a safe place with people you dont know. Doing this might make you more comfortable and comfortable enough to tell the people that care about you the most.

GOOD LUCK!!!

I think people often over-process the situation, don't feel like it's necessary to announce it to people before you can start living the lifestyle. Just be who you feel like being and just try and go with the flow.

kudos to all you brave people. i plan on telling my best friend in about a day or two. i think[as in i hope] he has the same feelings for me that i do for him. if not, oh well. my mom isn't a bible nut, but she would sh*t a brick if i told her i was a bisexual.

I only have my BEST friends added on myspace. The whole orientation change would be alot better than 1 on 1 confessions.

I'm mostly friends with girls, so they'd understand bisexuality i'm sure. I only have 4 guy friends. 2 of which are actually straight up gay.

Before you come out to her, warn her with, "When you hear this, you'll shit brix."